Happy New Year

I pray you all have a safe and joyous New Years Eve.
I hope you all have made plans which include a safe option for you and are spending it with loved ones.

Remember God does not create garbage

Putting in the Effort

I just finished watching Rudy, and yes once again I cried. However I believe the movie Rudy is an excellent counter point to yesterdays post. Here was a young man, 5’6” maybe and about 150 pounds whose dream it was to go to Notre Dame and play football for the fighting Irish. However he followed his dream with persistence and action. When he was turned down admission to Notre Dame, he didn’t quit. Instead sought help and found out how to make it possible. He went to Holy Cross and studied hard to improve his grades, doing whatever it took to accomplish this goal. Then finally he got accepted to Notre Dame, and then he did whatever it took to make the team giving everything he had. The rest well is even more astounding. However it just goes to show, that any dream is possible if you are willing to take action. Break it down into steps, achievable realistic goals, piece by piece, giving it your effort. The bigger the goal the bigger the effort required. Until one day, reality.

Remember God does not create garbage

What Dreams May Come

As the New Year gets closer, many of us are looking back at the past year. Looking back at was and what wasn’t, what was lost, and what was gained. We are also looking forward to what may be in the New Year. How many of our dreams will come true, this upcoming year. Well more than likely most of our dreams will remain just that, A Dream. That is unless you do something about it. There is nothing wrong with dreams, without dreams of better things where would the world be. However like most of histories dreamers, they all had one thing in common. They took action. No dream is too big to become reality, however all dreams need help to become reality. How to make a dream into reality is Simple. Not necessarily easy, yet simple. First off it needs to be broken down into manageable goals. Step by step goals towards the manifestation of the dream. These goals need to be broken down into manageable, achievable goals. As these goals are achieved one by one in the proper order, the dream will become manifest into a reality.
This is the difference between a dreamer and a doer. A dreamer just sits there and dreams the dream and wishes for it to come true. A doer dreams the dream and takes the action to make it a reality.

Remember God does not create garbage

Time to prepare for The New Year

Ah yes now in between Christmases and new years, the time when a few are relaxing, many are getting ready to return to work or have returned. Yet not quite in full steam, but a lesser pace as another holiday is days away. Many are in a very contemplative state, some are not so relaxed. However in form or another most are at least taking a cursory look at the past year, some looking at the past as a whole. However all basically contemplating the future in one degree or another. This I believe to be a good practice in general. As long as in does not fall into a morbid obsession of beating oneself up about past mistakes, or not taking to extensive aspects into flights of fantasy about the future. It was once said it is only the insane that does not question the past or their own actions. I believe it to be a healthy practice to regularly look at ones past and acknowledge one’s error. For you can’t fix a problem if you remain ignorant of it. We are but human; we all make mistakes, and however the only real mistake is in not acknowledging the fact and striving to fix it. As well we see how or what we would like to change, and through prayer and meditation have gleamed some idea of our God’s will for us. In this we set for goals to achieve these changes, always remembering that these may not be written in stone to remain ever flexible, to adjust to the will of our God. However mostly to honour our God, and ourselves, by accepting our God’s gift of the present.
Remember God does not create garbage

The real gifts of Christmas

As we leave Christmas behind, we often reflect on how we perceived it. If you are anything like me, we look to see if we achieved what we set out to do. For me it was how can I show love to those in my life and practice the spirit of love and giving. This is a difficult task given the materialistic world we live in, how do I be giving without being overly materialistic, and on the same note how to be less materialistic without being cheap?? Especially when there is not a surplus of monetary fund’s to begin with. Well I tried given baking to most friends relatives and neighbours, presents of materials to the very closest, my significant other and step-daughter I attempted to fill their immediate material needs. This was not so difficult in doing with the wife; however the step-daughter, now there is a different story, a young teenager where all the material brand name stuff is so important at that age. Well without going to the poor house I believe I faired okay. Yes I would have liked to give more materialistically to my loved ones as well as close friends, however it was just not in my means. As well as the fact that Christmas is not about the materialistic, it is about the spirit of giving and brotherly love. However when I do have the means I love to indulge in the giving, and I make no apologies for that. I love the feeling you get from the expressions on some ones face when they get an unexpected present. As well as the look when the gift has been chosen to the desires of the intended recipient. However that being said this year I received three of the best gifts that I have ever received, I had left the area where I spent most of my recovery just about three years ago. However in the last couple of months we have been spending time there and renewing some old friendships. Well in the days leading up to Christmas we traveled to our old town to deliver some baked presents. As we visited one dear friend and her family, we had occasion to go on the deck and indulge in a cigarette when this beautiful soul of a lady informed me that she was really grateful and happy that we had renewed our friendship and how special it was to her. I could tell how heartfelt this statement was to her. It touched me very deeply inside as this lady does not give out superficial compliments or genuine statements. For her to say something like this so freely was a rare gift. However my elation was not to end there. Another mutual friend also came by, one with whom I had an estranged friendship with which was also simultaneously being renewed. This wonderful young spirit, informed me how glad she was that we had renewed our friendship and that I was instrumental in showing her unconditional love and friendship and some guidance in her early days. Though I do believe that she gives me for too much credit in her recovery (for I was just an instrument of God at the right time) it was still so touching for me to hear the sentiment and love in this statement. I was overwhelmed. Yes I said three gifts, not that these where not very dear and special to me. They were given by dear friends and as such a little bias and clouded in the compliment as we are dear friends. I know that I probably see my dear friends better than others and I believe this may be the case in how they see me. This however no less diminishes the honour I feel from their words. However the third of my great gifts came from the words of my step daughter. She was out doing some last minute shopping with the wife; after they had gotten home we were discussing some family matters, when my wife told her daughter to repeat to me what she had said to her. Well to shorten the whole story a little, what she repeated was that her best Christmas ever was when she was in grade six, and she came and spent it with me and her mother. As in her words it was one of her best Christmases because, I said something like” we were going to do a real Christmas, we did the whole tree thing together and watched Christmas movies, went to midnight mass, and to me just did the whole family thing, To which we have tried to continue, and too which she still likes, (teenager has totally gotten her yet). These gifts nothing of a material nature involved, were/are my favourite. The things money can’t buy. Is this truly not what The Spirit of Christmas is all about? To me I will always have those treasured memories that only time will fade a slight bit, however will never tarnish or be broken or lost.
Remember God does not create garbage

Post Christmas Day

Here it is Boxing Day, another Christmas in the books. I hope everyone had a safe and sober Christmas. Well here we are, another Christmas day gone. How many of you are going to endure the traffic and crowds of Boxing Day shopping? You know now that the actual Christmas day itself is done. Does not mean the spirit and the holiday spirit is over. For most they have today and tomorrow, some even the whole week. To relax take in the spirit of Christmas, it does not have to end with the end of Christmas day. Now is the time to sit back and relax and share more intimately with friends and/or family, especially now that the anticipation and anxiety of the day is gone. Now is the time for tending the ties that bind, the love, the closeness, the friendships. It is also time to be reflective of the past year, the successes the failures the lessons and the gains. To focus oneself for the coming year and the lessons challenges, it holds. To see where we have been and to ponder on where we would go. To connect with our God, and seek guidance on where God would have us do and/or be. To drink in your God’s strength, guidance, love and especially conscious contact that we may see clearly his will for us. Well until the morrow
Remember God does not create garbage

jingle bells

Merry Christmas

I do not mean to offend those who are of different beliefs. Primarily those whose religious persuasion does not recognize Christmas. I value your beliefs and believe them to be just as real to you and your belief’s to be just as relevant and of God as those that choose to recognize Christmas. However I was raised Catholic, and Christmas has always been part of my life. Even though I choose today not to be Catholic or a member of any recognized formal Christian religion. I do choose to celebrate the birth of Jesus. However I do not promote or detract from any religion on this site. I choose here to recognize Christmas. With that said.
Here it is Christmas Eve, one more sleep. Well 2 for me as it early Friday morning as I write this 1:20 A.M... I am becoming quite anxious, and excited to celebrate Christmas. Yes I have found the spirit and Joy. Yet as I anticipate Christmas, I also find myself wanting time to slow, As Christmas eve will pass so fast and then Christmas will be here, and just as quickly it will be over far too soon. The joy and harmony and all that goes with it will all be but a memory. Albeit another cherished one. The build up is long and fraught with anxiety, stress, planning, only to over in a blink of an eye. Or so it feels.

This also sets me to pondering, how strange it seems to me that basically a nation, the nation I call home is basically for all intensive purposes considered a Christian nation. I state this as the government and law of the land has Christmas day legislated as a statutory holiday. However as a Christian nation, based upon the recognized Christian idea that Christ was god and Christmas being the birth of Christ and there by being the most significant day in history, possibly by this religious assumption the most important day in history. Definitely a day that changed the course of history more than any other to date. Yet it is only given one day. Even then some have to work on this day and as such in reality the world does not stop and definitely the search for monetary gain is more pronounced than at any other time of the year. Not to detract from any other religious event for other religions. It would appear that nothing Christmas or any other significant religions holidays are given very much true devotion and reverence, as they are due. However basically no matter the religion involved or aspect. All are just categorized as just another day basically, with some acknowledgement. However when one sits back and studies how many wars and lives lost due to religious conflict and how strenuously would tell you how devout they are and that there way is the only. What reverence is truly given compared to how much time and energy is spent on acquiring possessions and/or money. Just a thought.
Remember God does not create garbage

Addiction Roots

By accident or design, you stumbled into a 12 Step meeting or met someone in recovery and, through the fog of your addiction, you’ve managed to hear a few things: “one step at a time,” “easy does it,” or “let go and let God,” but none of it makes much sense to you. If you’re just starting out in a tentative sober state, your life and relationships are most likely in a shambles, your job lost, children gone, husband/wife fed up and disgusted. You have played the great pretend game every addict is familiar with “I don’t give a shit!” But deep down you know you’re just lying.

The problems of our addictions are rooted in the toxic shame of our childhood, trust in our families has been shattered, boundaries violated, and we’re feeling confused, alone and afraid. This is common in addicts and dysfunctionals – those impacted with personality and substance abuse disorders Somewhere along the line we’ve gotten a message and internalized it -- that we are defective and hopelessly flawed. We know that our addiction is abnormal, that it’s a beast that’s gotten loose and is consuming everything in our lives -- yet we continue to let this beast roam wherever it chooses.

Our addiction is the manifestation of how we feel about ourselves inside. It tells us that we feel less than and are not worth much effort. How can that be, you say, when I feel so good when I’m getting high? If you felt good about yourself to begin with, you wouldn’t need to mind or mood-alter with drugs, other substances or behaviors. The end result for many of us is that we jail ourselves, prostitute ourselves and get ourselves into abusive and/or impossible situations. Is this how you would treat someone you loved? Would you treat a 5-year old this way? You would be horrified. Yet this is how we treat or have treated ourselves. This is the nature of addiction.

In examining the true nature of our problems, our addictions and dysfunctions, what do we see? What patterns come leaping out to derail our spiritual progress? What stops us from getting the help we need? There is something inside of us that wants to get better, then why can’t we? Is there a step that can help us through this tough beginning time where we don’t know whether to leap off the train, risk breaking our legs, or riding this recovery train a few more miles and see what happens.

Take the ride – you’re worth it. Listen, listen and listen with an open mind. Share, share and share what you’re feeling. Is this hard for you? I was so shamed I only went to candlelight meetings and shared in the dark. After about 3 months, I graduated to the early evening meetings. No, it won’t be easy at first. Get someone to hold your hand. That’s what so great about 12 Step fellowship – someone will be there for you – if you hold out your hand. Is your recovery going easy for you? Or are you fighting it tooth and nail?
Lynda Lyons

remember God does not create garbage

A Visit to the P.L.O.M. Tree

Yes today I thought I would take a walk down to the ole P.L.O.M. tree. Yes you know the one, the old tree we all like to visit once in awhile. That good ole P.L.O.M. Tree, you know the Poor Little Ole Me Tree. Yep that`s the one. I was just stewing on how I just seem to have that Christmas spirit and I don`t really see it, coupled with that I`m not finding the job I want for the wages I want. When I ran into my own little version of `I complained of having no shoes, until I met a man with no feet`. I met this guy who I used to work with; well no exactly he delivers supplies to where I used to work. Well we get to talking, And I tell him what`s going on for me. Then he proceeds to tell me about his life in the past week. Well let`s see, he starts with last Wednesday, His cat that he and his family (wife and kids) have had for 12 years has diabetes, well last Wednesday the family cat went into a diabetic coma. They took him to the vet; the vet could not do anything so they had to put the family cat of 12 years to sleep. Now you’re saying, OOHH that`s sad, yet not really that bad, he has a job, a house and family. ` Hold on now we just started. Well Thursday the smoke alarms goes and a couple of the outlets in the house spark and blow out. Well it seems that a circuit in the electrical panel has fried out and blown out 2 or 3 outlets they all have to replace as well as the electrical panel and the wiring all checked. However we are not done yet, Friday night the furnace goes on the fritz, the furnace isn`t working and there is no heat, Well he finally gets a guy to come out and the motor on his furnace is gone. That`s not the best part yet this guy wants to be paid in cash, and after phoning around find a motor for the furnace, says it going to cost $200.00 for the motor, make a long story short the motor only cost $120.00 So all this stuff going on and then repair guy trying to stick it to you as well. Pretty great week he`s having, wouldn`t you say? Well hang on a minute, because on Sunday buddy goes to pick a few things up and, wham, a new driver on the phone takes a left turn right into the front end of my friends SUV. No word of a lie this is a true story. Well how`s that for a Merry Christmas? You know as he said all he could do was laugh, and say what ya going to do É So how bad is your life after all.
Remember God does not make garbage

Christmas Spirit

Here we are just 3 days away from Christmas Eve. Now I know I’ve been blogging on Christmas Issues, as well as the joys and wonders of Christmas. To just get out and enjoy it. However here it is just 3 days from Christmas eve, I not quite sure what it is, I’m not depressed or down in anyway, life is okay and I’m striving for more however I’m okay where my life is, I’m trusting the process and my higher power. However that being said I don’t have that Christmas enthusiasm or that gleeful Christmas spirit, and I am not seeing it out in public. I thought maybe it was just me; however a few of my friends and acquaintances have mentioned the same. I’m not sure if perhaps part of it for me is the lack of snow where I am, as I grew up with snow on the ground during Christmas. It also appears to me there is less community spirit these days as opposed to when I was growing up. There are not the school Christmas pageants there were when I was growing up, nor the little craft fairs. Not the little community activities. No carollers. Not as many houses with lights. Very little Christmas spirit on the streets and malls. Oh there are activities to be had if you can afford it as they are quite pricey. However not much affordable for the average Joe, or the struggling family. Maybe it’s just me but have they finally managed to commercialize Christmas as to dampen the real Christmas spirit. To take away the community and family aspects of Christmas unless you can afford it. I know, sadly enough, that times are different and the aspect of family and the family unit are rare these days perhaps should be on the extinction list, as well as community and community spirit, perhaps this is part of it we have all gotten city mentality that we no longer know are neighbours, we no longer look out for and care for each other. Perhaps it is these things that are our society that has dampened the Christmas spirit. However I even notice not as many specials on TV, and/or Christmas stories in the dailies just repeats. I hope that I am wrong and it is just me. However whichever is the case I just need to get out and be more involved with people and help create the spirit. If I truly want it, I need to be part of making it happen.

Remember God does not create garbage

Why Daily concsious contact

Joy and happiness are directly proportionate to our recovery. Our recovery is proportionately experienced through our relationship with our higher power. Basically the degree of recovery, joy and happiness in our live, is directly related to how in tune we are with our higher power. If you are living a God centered life then you are experiencing happiness and successful recovery. If you are finding difficulty maintaining clean and sober time, and thus not experiencing a lot of joy and happiness. Then you are not living a God centered life. I say this because the 12 step program is first and foremost a spiritual program. Let me make this abundantly clear. There is no spiritual part of the program. The whole program is all spiritual.

Virtually from the beginning of the program, (Step two and Step 3) you were directed to acknowledge that there was a power greater than you. You were further directed to “turn your will and life over” to a God of your understanding. You were then further directed to follow several spiritual principles. In essence to have a God centered life. In doing so we live our lives according to the principles and value systems attributed to our chosen higher power. In doing so we all found a renewed strength and faith. We began to find recovery, as well as a new freedom along with experiencing happiness once more. However as time went on and our natural human tendencies showed themselves, in ways like selfishness, and wanting things our way and when we wanted them. Doubt, fear and overall lack of faith crept in. This usually is a wakeup call to show us how we have strayed from reliance upon our higher power, a lack of trust in our higher power as well as reduced contact with the God of our understanding. This usually shows us that without our god we are nothing. It is a call back to faith and a God centered life. The “return of the prodigal child” if you will.

It is in these times that we see that in our god’s house all is well> that there is a ways and means to things. There is a bigger picture, That if I just do what is right and what is right in front of, based upon spiritual principles , and the teachings of my God. Everything works out to the good. No matter what name you choose to call your God. The principles are all the same—LOVE, HONESTY, CHARITY, TOLERANCE, PATIENCE, and INTEGRITY. These and more, are in all the Sacred and Holy texts. So remember a god centered life is a Happy, Joyous and Free life.
Remember God does not create garbage

The Real Christmas

Well here we are just 1 week from Christmas. The past week I was blogging about all the pitfalls of Christmas for those in early recovery. Some of them are real concerns; however a lot of it is what we create in our heads. The feelings are scary, emotion based and mostly fear based. Yet feeling are your feelings however feelings are not necessarily facts. Feelings are real however the thinking that creates those feelings is sometimes flawed, yet occasionally the feeling is totally justified. The point being is that feelings never killed anyone; it is our emotional and irrational reaction to them that may be fatal. This is something you might want to ponder on. We will dive into that topic on a later date. I have blogged about these feelings, and the whole scary side of Christmas and possible negative anxieties towards this great season. It’s been quite real for a lot of you, so I thought it better to face it. However yesterday I posted a few recovery comedy videos, because the time for doom and gloom is past. Life is to enjoy and have some laughs, there is a time to be serious, however if you can’t laugh and enjoy life. You are missing the whole point of it.

As for Christmas, today I was out attempting to pick up a few things for Christmas. It’s just chaos out there, people cutting each other off while driving, trying to get ahead, and be the first one to the next traffic jam 10 feet ahead. People pushing and bumping into you knocking into to you in the malls, cutting in line. It is just crazy. It reminds me the other day I went to the parade with the wife and daughter. We got there a little later than I wanted however found a good spot. I had to go back and pick something up just before it started. So I squeezed my way through and got across the street. Then I had to come back. Well let me tell you this was quite the experience. As a finagled my way through the crowd, with excuse me and pardons, I came up to this couple and they were not going to let me pass, they said there are children in front. I tried to explain that I wasn’t attempting to but in front of them, that I was attempting to cross to get to my family. Well they were having none of it and the fellow even grabbed me. I had to fight the urge to get angry and return the hostility, and just shrugged him off and stepped over the children and started to cross the street. When there was another lady involved to speaking of her child in front. Well she and the couple just exploded in to a tirade of foul language, the likes I haven’t heard since my using days. Don’t get me wrong I’m still quite capable of a swear word or two. However the way these people went on. I just stared and replied nice talk in front of the children. To which they just continued and blamed it on me. I just shook my head and crossed the street to join my family. This little story, to go along with the pushing and shoving in the malls, and the rude drivers. All in the name of Christmas People we have forgotten what Christmas is all about. It’s about a little kindness, compassion, tenderness, generosity, the brotherhood of man, LOVE, Peace on earth. Nice words, we watch the movies and preach all this stuff, when asked, yet what actions do you see out on the street.
So please don’t forget what the holidays are really supposed to be, live it, and be the example. If you’re going to the mal or anywhere, and it would normally take you 20 minutes to a ½ hour. Give yourself an hour and ½ to 2 hours to accomplish it now. Take your time let the crazies cut in front, you won’t be stressed and in a panic. In the crowds out there practice random acts of kindness, you know what you’ll get some strange looks, like you’ve got two heads or something, but occasionally you’ll get that smile and the smile from the eyes of that person and in that moment the magic of Christmas will happen. Keep it alive. By doing what’s right, and what’s right in front of you. By giving yourself the extra time to accomplish whatever you are setting out to do. And practicing “random acts of kindness”.
Remember God does not create garbage

Recovery Comedy Presents Steve Johnson

Recovery Comedy Presents Steve Smith

Erik Myers, Stand-up Comedian - Fighting Addiction, Drugs, rock-bottoms ...

H.A.L.T. for the Holidays

Ah yes the classic H.A.L.T., a very good tool to keep in mind over the holidays. Actually a very good tool to remember at all times of the year. However during the holidays when stress levels tend to be more elevated, always good to check on these levels before any major decisions or actions are considered.

H. HUNGRY; We all know this one, however sometimes we miss the body signals, Can you count the amount of times when you pass a restaurant or bakery and catch a smell of something good. Then all of a sudden realize how hungry you are. Or another one is a friend, or family member says here have something to eat, or you’re at a restaurant and order a little something, to be polite or just out of habit. Then all of a sudden everything that was on your plate is gone and you realize just how hungry you were.
Your body is a very sophisticated and complex machine, and for it to run efficiently and properly it needs energy. Just as an automobile needs the energy it gets from an engine in the form of fuel and proper spark plugs as well as battery cells to run efficiently and properly. Or a computer needs energy from electricity or battery and from the R.A.M. memory if it cannot get that flow of energy it cannot run properly. Your body is the same way. However an automobile usually has gauges you can check and a warning system on most automobiles now. We have already established that we occasionally miss the body’s warning signs. However just like an automobile and the computer if our energy levels are low. Usually shows up as low blood sugar levels. We cannot function efficiently; when we are hungry we are prone to irritability, poor decision making skills, and the list increases. Generally put we are not up to our abilities, physically, mentally or even spiritually.

ANGRY; I don’t think I really have to elaborate on this too much. We can all recall when angry some of the stupid, irrational things that we have said or done, can we not. Let’s just say that when you are in a state of anger, you basically cross into a state of Fight or Flight. Your breathing intensifies; your heartbeat elevates sending blood primarily to your muscles for fight or flight, thus shutting down the more cognitive centers of the brain. Rational thought is questionable; basically the mental capabilities are limited, as well as spiritual. So always better to take deep breaths and a break, possibly a walk as well as a conversation with a trusted source. Before making any decisions whatsoever.

Lonely: Well here we go again. This one is tied in the basic human needs. We are social animals by nature. We crave belonging and acceptance. This can also be triggered by that old bugaboo—SEX or shall we say the want there of. Sex as a rule is also a basic natural instinct. However it’s not so much the need or want of belonging, acceptance, friendship, companionship or sex that is the big issue here. The big issue is our learned behaviours of where to find it. We go places where we have found it before. However in most cases these places are not healthy and safe places for us anymore. We have new places to meet healthier chooses in our companions. However they are uncomfortable to us, for we are not sure how to proceed here. Coupled with the fact that in all probability, it is not happening as fast as we would like. Because more than likely we are looking for a quick fix. Or more precisely an unhealthy “feel better” answer. Talk to your sponsor. Counsellor, recovery coach and your support system. Call a trusted friend.

Tired- This one is just like HUNGRY; nothing physically, mentally or spiritually functions properly when the energy levels are depleted. Take a nap. Get some sleep. Go to bed get a good night’s sleep. As for any decision and/or actions, Sleep on it.
Remember God does not create garbage

Christmas as a whole

Now that we have discussed most of the uncomfortable feelings that the holidays can bring up, it’s time to look at Christmas as a whole. In all reality this is a wonderful time of year, as a whole people are a little nicer, when not caught up in the stress. That is basically the whole key. This can be such a wonderful time of year, and a whole new wondrous experience. The key is to remember all the suggestions. Stay hooked in; attend more meetings stay in close contact with your counsellor, recovery coach, sponsor and your support network. Spend the holidays with the people who truly love you for you. Keep centered and balanced, keep in close contact with YOUR higher power. You should be able to have one of the best Christmas of your life, if you follow these simple suggestions. If you’re anything like me it will also be fully remembered unlike many of my past Christmases before getting clean and sober, many of them are just a blur. Some thankfully.

It is truly a wonderful time of year with opportunities galore to be happy. After all wasn’t that just what we were always chasing. To be happy. This can be a glorious opportunity to experience the best of man, and to experience many wonders and the simplicity of love and giving.
Remember God does not create garbage
So enjoy.
HAPPY HOLIDAYS

Christmas with Family

Ah Yes Christmas with family. This can be difficult, depending on your family, or your partner’s family. There is a possibility of all sorts of dynamics here. There is always the Christmas dinner and perhaps family and/ or the New Year’s family get together. The whole aspect can be daunting; the first to consider is your feelings around the whole situation. Are you comfortable with attending? If not, why not? There may be all kinds of reasons, from There may be someone there, whom still has doubts about you, or the one who still hold a bit of a grudge, or the ones that just don’t understand why you just can’t have one, after all it is Christmas time or new years. Or do you just feel awkward, and unsure of self, perhaps still a little lingering shame/ and or guilt. Is it you have one of these families where there is just an overabundance of alcohol and/or drugs. Possibly just some strained relationships.

First off, you need to deal with self. Get yourself centered and balanced, remembering this is a time of love, forgiveness and tolerance. Get yourself into a Christmas mood, and centered on your higher power. Talk a lot with your sponsor, counsellor, recovery coach. and your support group. So you are fully balanced and God centered. Secondly get as many numbers from the above if you need then to help if you get a little frazzled and USE THEM. Secondly again with the above create an escape plan or alternate place to go and stay if things get really hairy, Do this and use it if needed. If your families are anything like mine, THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE. Damn the PRIDE, DO IT. Your support group will not mind, They Love You.

Now as for the doubters, and the ones with snide remarks, or unbelievers, and even the caring ones who just don’t understand. Remember most will never completely understand. some will never understand a little. That is okay, do you understand everybody, and why some people in your life do things you don’t understand. Well there you go, you will never understand everybody. So why expect others to understand you. As for the doubters and sceptics, Remember we were the ones that broke the trusts, we were the ones who created the suspicions. How many lies have we told these people? How many times have we said we’ve changed, or it’s different now or whatever? It will take time to regain peoples trust, even family. After all how quickly do you trust someone who has hurt or lied to you? Remember you are setting an example of the program; you are the example of love, patience tolerance and compassion. Hopefully you will have some support with you, remember to use the phone numbers if you’re feeling stressed or boxed in, Go for a walk, take a breather, and if really hairy use your escape plan. You can always go back after you’ve centered yourself. Remember you are here because it is family and you love these people and they love you. There are just some past actions that may not be healed yet; however this is part of the healing. Remember this is the season of love and family. It’s about God, and God is love.

Remember God does not create garbage

Christmas Issues Part two

Today we are going to discuss the inevitable Christmas party. There’s the work Christmas party, the ones we all here stories about, perhaps in the past we have been one of those stories. I know me past I was a few of those stories. These can be quite difficult, there is usually a lot of drinking and drug involved. There is the social aspect involved as well. Some of us may have a difficult time socializing in normal environments now that we no longer have the aid of a “social lubricant.” Coupled with the fact that it can be very difficult socializing with people you have very little in common with any longer. It can be extremely difficult socializing with people who are in various degrees of inebriation, when one is clean and sober. There are a number of ways to deal with this situation. First off don’t go however in some cases some of us may feel that this is really not an option. If you must go, then bring a support with you. Then leave at the first opportunity. There will come a time when this is not such a dangerous thing for you. However it may always be somewhat uncomfortable. I know in my case, when we attend my wife’s work Christmas party, I would just as well blow it off. However for her work it is quite the occasion, and seen as a slight if missed without just cause. The one thing that does make it bearable is the large amount of great prizes given away. However this work place highly alcohol orientated and 90% of the staff enc up inebriated. As this is the main focus of most of the staff, we have very little in common. Even the sports and what not that we can discuss among a few others, it is the mentality that goes along with people who live for the party. So even though the company holds its Christmas party in a posh environment, with a great meal and super prizes. It is still not one of our best times. Basically this is due to the fact that we no longer fit in this type of environment with these kinds of people. It is not that we are better than, it is due to the fact that we have different goals and values. However there usually is one or two that we end up conversing with, the ones trying to tone it down, or the occasional pregnant spouse. The point is if you really don’t have to go, DON”T. If you feel you must make an appearance bring support and leave at the first opportunity. Remember if you run with the wolves long enough you’ll eventually howl like the rest.

Tomorrow we’ll look at the house and/or family Holiday parties
Remember God does not create garbage

Christmas Part 1

It’s that time of year again. The time of brotherly love, families, giving, charity and anxieties of all sorts. For some this a wondrous time, however for many others it is a time of dread. There are so many aspects that this time of the year brings up for everybody. For some this is a time of immense loneliness and pain. For others it is a time of dread, for others a time full of anxious moments. We shall try to address some of these in the coming days.

Today let us look at the aspect of loneliness and pain. For some of us we are miles and miles away from any family, and it is not feasible to go home. A phone call during the holidays is nice however there is still a lot of time feeling disconnected. For yet others we miles away from families and we have burnt many bridges, that the phone calls if at all possible are tense and short. While yet some us have burnt bridges that are unrepaired and/or unrepeatable (presently. There are those to without a family to connect with. In this mix there are those too whose family ties are too chaotic and/or dysfunctional that a call or visit is unthinkable, or potentially worse than being without. In this mix there are those who have not built very strong bonds yet in recovery to have established an extended family. Those whose pride gets in the way of accepting the invitations of others, mainly because they feel out of place, or “don’t want to impose. Or it is just too uncomfortable. In this mix and the time spent alone, the mind seems to only haunt and torment, bringing up all the people we have hurt, lost, pushed away, destroyed ties with. All the regrets and mistakes are there to haunt us. As well as all the hurts done to us.

It is in these times that we really need to be availing ourselves of all the meetings available. Get out; spend as much time with others in the program. Get to meetings, go for coffee. Cut down the time “the committee” has to mess up your thinking. Talk to your sponsor daily, talk to your recovery coach as often as possible, talk to your counsellor as often as available. Talk to your support system continuously. The less time alone the better. Bury the pride! Accept any and all invitations from program members and/or your support system to spend time with them at the holidays. They more or less understand what you are going through and want to help. In some if not most cases you will be helping them as much as you think they are helping you. In some instances you will be helping them more than you believe they are helping you. Remember recovery is not a one person job. We can’t do it alone. So talk constantly about what is going on for you. You will be amazed at how many others are experiencing the same feeling. You’re talking about it may just save the life or sobriety of the person beside you. Remember together we can do what we can’t do alone.
Remember your higher power didn’t bring you this far just to leave you hanging.
P.S. If you really need someone to talk with email me at wiledchild@live.ca ANYTIME-I will respond
Remember God does not create garbage

The Truth About Affirmations

What Louise Hay said in her video is really something to look at. Do you remember what I’m talking about? Probably not, when she suggested to just say the affirmation, I believe it was “I am lovable and deserving of love” while looking yourself in the eyes. While doing this, be aware of the feelings and/or inner voice that comes up for you. This is a really good exercise to see what is blocking you from receiving what you are worth. It is one of those old “lies” that you believed.

However that is not the point I wish to make. The point I am attempting to make here, is affirmations are nothing but a bunch of words, the way we generally use them they are worthless. They are just a bunch of words, which sound great at first. Just like a new story, or a new joke, however after a couple of times you stop listening or even hearing it. A little bit further down and you don’t even want to hear it. You may even know someone, or be that someone who went a little farther with this you wrote it down or even got one of those fridge magnets or stickers that are on the bathroom. Mirror in the corner. Or the bedroom mirror. However just like a picture in your house it was nice in the beginning and you were full of good intentions. But after awhile it’s just like that piece of art. It is still there and it is no less attractive and beautiful than the day you put it up. However it is just a piece of the furniture now you don’t even notice it.

Like I said earlier, affirmations are just a bunch of words. Much like the morning (or evening) newspaper) it was interesting and fresh when you got it , however by the end of the day , you’ve left on the bus, used it to wrap fish, put potato peelings in it, basically it’s ended up in the garbage. Useless and doing nothing for you.

Again just a bunch of words, just like the twelve steps, or the Bill of Rights, or the Declaration of Independence. Are you getting the point now? They are just words, however what the words mean to you, and more importantly what are you going to do with them. As I said earlier the way we generally use them, make affirmations worthless. The key is learning how to make affirmations work for us. We are told that we need to keep repeating them till they work into our subconscious and take effect. However most of us understand the whole idea and basis for them. We generally believe it a good idea, sound logic. However we never really learn how to properly use them. We say them and at first feel a little weird and stupid saying them, however we do it because we believe in the logic and want them to work. However we keep doing it mumbling the words, with no real conviction or life. We even get the magnets or stickers. However after a short period of time we have stopped repeating them and barely even notice the magnet and/or stickers anymore. Why?? Because they have no life, no energy. That is the part that has been missed.

Just on a whim here, I want you to do something for me. I want you to pump your fist and shout “YES”, Do it like you just won one of the stupid little arguments, you know the ones were your friend or partner and you were saying it was like this or this is what happened and they are saying no this is what happened. And then someone validates you and you get all righteous and smart assed saying I told you. You know those stupid little things where we go I was right. Now you know that “YES” let’s try it again this time pump both fists. Just like your team scored the winning goal. You notice that energy, that life. Notice how your chest was a little puffed, your chin was up, your head up and held high, your shoulders back. Full of Life and Energy. That is how an affirmation has to be said numerous times with that same energy and life. You need to give it life and energy to be effective. A couple times a day. As a daily routine. Notice your feelings afterwards. You’ll notice a spring in your step. A pumped up feel good feeling. This is the life and energy that will give the affirmation life.
Remember God does not create garbage

Loving Yourself by Louise Hay Pt.2

Loving Yourself by Louise Hay Pt.1

God answers all prayers

Yes God hears and answers all prayers. Sometimes it may feel that God is not listening. It may feel that your higher power has not heard your pleas, and has forsaken you. This is not the case; God will never put more on your plate than you are capable of handling. Even though it may occasionally feel that you have a side plate and your higher power is dishing it up like you have a serving platter.

There are a number of reasons for these feelings. Sometimes the answer is just plain no. It is not in the grand design or the bigger picture. Sometimes the answer is not now. Usually though the answer is just you’re not listening. God has bestowed this wonderful gift upon us, this gift is the freedom of choice (it however sometimes may feel like a curse} Sometimes we are just making the wrong choices. We are looking for the easier softer way. We may be avoiding his will for us out of fear. Sometimes he has given us a way to what we are asking we are just not taking the correct path, because of the fear, or work entailed. For your higher power wants you to be happy joyous and free. However sometimes there is more involved than just “turning it over”. After all God does not put your pants on in the morning. Meaning Ask and it shall be given, however sometimes there is some work involved. Or God helps those that help themselves. And sometimes there are just some lessons to be learned and wisdom to be gained. When the student is ready. Bottom line is God did not bring you this far out the depths of hell, just to leave you hanging. There is a purpose; however we just usually cannot see it for we do not know the future.

Remember God does not create garbage

Achieving Emotional Sobriety

Let Go and Let God

The Spirituality of Surrender
By John P. Mossi

Losing, whether it is losing a friendly bet, an important argument, or a business contract, is a difficult to swallow. We detest losing. The same is true for any diehard sports fan who endures a hometown rout. We walk away replaying the game, blaming the unfair referees , or creating strategies that “would have” favorably altered the score.

When the defeat entails greater stakes, there is higher resistance to a surrender. To address a serious problem like addiction is personally painful. Implicit in such reality is a pervasive sense of failure. One has lost control over life’s direction. The only way to regain control is to surrender what has not worked and seek a new way. This process is replete with difficulty.

This article will examine the spirituality of surrender as a means of coming home to God (1). Surrendering to God will be looked at in three ways. The first involves an understanding of how surrender is operative in twelve-step recovery programs like Alcoholics Anonymous. The second involves a look at the life of Ignatius of Loyola and the surrender components of the final prayer of the Spiritual Exercises, the “Suscipe,” or “Take and Receive.” The third considers Jesus’ act of surrender on the cross in Luke 23:46. Each of these three different “ways” of surrendering involves putting our ultimate identity and confidence in God.

LET GO, LET GOD

At Alcoholics Anonymous meetings or twelve-step recovery retreats, the expression “Let go, let God” is often used. These four important words constitute the core spirituality of A.A. and similar recovery programs that have adapted the twelve steps to their particular addiction. “Let go, let God” is an invitation to surrender one’s unmanageable life to God.

“Let go, let God” is a gentle conversion reminder, a kind of mantra, which assists us both to admit the addiction and to hand it over along with its various forms of compulsions to God. The long form of the prayer would be something like “Let go of alcohol (or whatever the specific substance or non substance addiction might be) and let the hand and grace of God guide my life.”

The prayer is not magic. Saying “Let go, let God” does not instantaneously bring about recovery. Its first purpose is to assist the recovering addict to keep the daily partnership task of surrendering the addiction to God. The second purpose of “Let go, let God” is to be a prayer of liberation, to call on the greater power of God to help one escape from destructive lifestyle patterns. In this way the creative resources of the individual and the action of God are focused on together. The prayer also serves to silence those addiction-related inner-committee tapes and voices of doubt, loneliness, fear, and caustic shame that can interfere with a person’s slow recovery. These, too, need to be handed over to God.

I have the greatest admiration for all who enter the surrender process of a twelve-step program. For many, it is the difference between death and life, the difference between barely existing as a human and participating in community, between dysfunctionalism and experiencing the serenity that only God gives with amazing grace.

The first three steps of Anonymous programs set up this “Let go let God” dynamic. The language of the twelve steps is straightforward and simple. This is part of their wisdom and wide appeal. The steps make sense to a lot of people. Since A.A. began in 1935 at Akron, Ohio, Anonymous recovery programs have multiplied to treat various forms of addiction (2). These include Narcotics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, Emotions Anonymous, Workaholics Anonymous, Sexaholics Anonymous, Al-Anon, and Adult Children of Alcoholics.

Let us examine these first three steps.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol (or the other specific addiction) - that our lives had become unmanageable (3).

The first step is crucial. You admit you have a serious problem. There is no denial of the fact. The blunt reality is your life is out of control, in fact, unmanageable. Furthermore, you are powerless to do anything about it.

At Anonymous meetings, this first step is handled in an up front manner. When members speak, they state their first name and their addictiveness: “I’m John. I’m an alcoholic.” “I’m Susan. I’m a recovering overeater.” In formal religion we might refer to this acknowledgment as group confession. In recovery programs it is simply admitting what can no longer be denied. Step one is an honest, vulnerable beginning place. Owning and naming the unmanageable addiction is essential to the surrendering process. When one is aware of a specific uncontrollable disease, one can effectively pray “Let go.”

But to whom does one surrender? Steps two and three look at the second part of the mantra: “Let God.” God is the significant associate in restoring harmony. To appreciate the spirituality of the twelve steps, it is important to reflect that the existence and action of God are mentioned seven times in the twelve steps. The particular addiction is only mentioned once, and that is in the first step. The activity of surrendering one’s addiction and life to God becomes the spirituality cornerstone of the remaining steps.

2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity (4).

Step two admits the need of an outside corrective authority, a Higher Power, to bring about a stability in one’s life. This is the first glimpse of light that invites God in as the restorer of sanity.

There are two other important spirituality elements operative in the second step: 1. The belief that a Higher Wisdom exists and, 2. a disposition of humility on the part of the believer. These two qualities counter culturally work against the arrogance of the ego that craves to cling to the addiction. Step two indicates that the recovery process entails an attentive listening to a new Teacher, which means that the addict has to take on the attitude of learner. There is a major shift in trust: from addiction to God.

3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him (5).

Step three is where the capitulation actually occurs. First, a concrete decision to surrender has to be made. Second, this decision is total. It includes the will making conscious choices, and it affects one’s entire being and journey. Third, the whole person is placed in the care of God according to the individual faith background.

The spirituality of “Let go, let God” is a conversion process. Conversion of its nature has two basic movements: the surrendering of the compulsion, shame, and destructive addictive patterns which reduce freedom; the turning to the care of God and the Holy Spirit to be one’s permanent resources of wisdom and identity.

Matthew 11:28-30 speaks of a “letting go, letting God” process: “Come to me, all you who labor and are overburdened, and I will give you rest. Shoulder my yoke and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Yes, my yoke is easy and my burden light” (6). These three verses contain the confirmation signs that accompany a true surrender. A learning will occur, the process will be gentle and humble. Rest will be experienced. A new relationship arises, a companionship with the Master, which will be non addictive, easy, and light.

The Surrender of Ignatius of Loyola

Another way of surrendering one’s life to God comes from the spirituality of Ignatius’s surrender as expressed in his prayer the “Suscipe,” or “Take and Receive.” On his pilgrim journey Ignatius was called to surrender on several notable occasions. The first was during the defense of the city of Pamplona, Spain. In 1521 Ignatius, wounded by cannon shrapnel, reviewed the illusions of his life as sober death approached. But he did not die. His long convalescence became a conversion process. He gradually yielded up his stubborn self-preoccupation, bravado, and ambition and began to discover a new self in God (7).

The spirituality record of Ignatius’s surrender to God is found in his classic work, the Spiritual Exercises. Today, 450 years after its first published edition, it is still considered a significant theological work noted for its integration of Scripture, guidelines for discernment, sense of mission, and themes of justice. The Exercises’ developmental stages of growth in discipleship and intimacy enable a person to come home to God.

The last prayer of the Exercises is called the “Suscipe” or “Take and Receive.” I invite you to spend some time contemplating the components of the prayer. What is Ignatius, the once vain soldier-at-arms, now a mystic, asking us to do?

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will - all that I have and call my own. You have given it all to me. To you, Lord, I return it. Everything is yours; do with it what you will. Give me only your love and your grace. That is enough for me (8).

The “Suscipe” is a deceptively profound prayer. It invites us to acknowledge the primacy of God in our totality; it answers the humbling question What aspect of our being is not a gift of God?” In the light of this answer, Ignatius invites us to surrender all to God. The last part of the prayer is a seeking of the purer gifts: “Give me only your love and grace. That is enough for me.” Ignatius does not compromise in the process of “letting go of self and letting God in.”

I recall a forceful experience in praying the “Suscipe.” It happened fifteen years ago during a retreat. I attempted to pray and could not. I realized I had not surrendered anything, certainly not my liberty, memory, understanding, and will to anyone, much less to God. I told my director that I could not pray this prayer at all. As a consequence, I seriously questioned remaining a Jesuit. The director gave me sage advice. He invited me to return to the chapel and pray the “Suscipe” with my own words in my own way.

I prayed, “Lord, I give you my sins which I know so well; those many areas of my life where I am not obedient, poor, and chaste. I give you my pride, my negativity, my hatred and vindictiveness, my compulsive rebellion and addictiveness to self. I am overtly familiar with these dark recesses. And I truly need to surrender these to you. Send forth your Holy Spirit to guide, anoint, and heal with a love that I am most in need of, your grace.”

Like an ambush, the opportunity to surrender can appear at unlikely moments. Do not let the occasion pass by. The benefit of letting God in always outweighs whatever is surrendered.

Jesus on the Cross

We turn to the spirituality of Jesus and the particular way he has taught us to surrender. He, too, had to face a special moment of surrender. His prayer in Luke 23:46 is a powerful expression of letting go: “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit” (9). Here on the cross Jesus is still the master teacher. He models for us how to pray and hand over our daily experiences and our life to God. Notice the key elements: (1) The prayer is addressed to the Father; (2) Jesus urges us to surrender, to commend, to let go; (3) Jesus specifies what is to be handed over. He gives what little is left, his spirit and last breath.

In the daily minor or major surrenders of our own pilgrimage, we can pray in the spirituality of either the twelve steps, Ignatius, or Jesus. Specify in the “Let go, let God” mantra and the “Suscipe” whatever needs are to be named and yielded: “Let go of addiction and manipulation. Let God in.” “Take, Lord, my dishonesty, my hurts, my doubts and sinfulness.” God can handle and work with these blighted areas quite well.

Adapt the prayer of Jesus to your immediate concerns: “Father, into your hands I commit my grief, my sense of failure, my disappointment, my pettiness and vulnerability….”Commend these regions of brokenness to the higher compassion and understanding of God.

It is clear that not only our joys but also our sorrows must be offered to God. Our ability to be powerless allows God to meet us and tenderly heal us on our journey, embracing us as we truly are. Moreover, the art of surrendering involves a lifelong process. Some days we succeed better than others. If we postpone learning the spirituality of surrender, we will face it unprepared at death, when the surrender is sudden. Perhaps we can learn to surrender to the care, to the heart, of God in advance

Smell the roses or is it Pine

How is everybody today? Good. I hope. You know I have a dear friend and that question, is her pet peeve. Did you ever notice how often we are greeted by this comment, as a way of greeting? Most people ask expecting a one word or short sentence answer. Most people if you really expound on the answer are stopped in their tracks, they weren’t really expecting a real answer. This is what her issue was with this kind of greeting. Don’t ask if you really do not want to hear the answer, especially if you do not have the time to sit down and really hear and possibly discuss the answer. Well when I heard her say this I had to think about it. You know the more I thought about the more I began to see her point. Even that she was not in a good mood when she told me this she had a few issues cropping up in her life at the time. To say this or use it as a greeting, and not being prepared to spend the time and the effort to here a truthful and expanded answer. All I was doing was doing an old behaviour; I’m feigning interest in that particular person. I’m not being real or genuine.

Anyways I spent a lot of the day digging out Christmas decorations, and putting up the tree, the outside lights, and a few trimmings and lights on the tree. I didn’t put on the ornaments and the nativity scene though as I save that for us to do as a family. However our outside lights have a music box with them that plays a couple of carols with them. As I was sitting having a cigarette and coffee (admiring my work) outside listening to the Christmas music. I got one of those nice contented—“everything is good in my world” feelings you know just feeling happy contented and at peace. It just reminded me, that no matter what is going on in your life. That just sitting back, occasionally and taking a break from life to smell the roses and be grateful for what is in your life. Can be quite refreshing and beneficial to the soul.
Remember God does not create garbage

Everybody Deserve a Chance or Two or more

You Know sometimes in our recovery, or at least mine there are times when my mind becomes shut again. In some things I lose that open mind, which is so valuable and needed in continuous growth. After some clean and sober time, you learn things, you know things. However I always have to remember that there is always more to be learned, and that my learning is not the be all and know all of a given topic. Case in point, while I was pondering on what I was going to write for today’s blog, I was researching my upcoming Recovery coach business and I wandered upon an article/blog from a fellow recovery coach. She was going on about don’t waste her time with BS, that she was only interested in serious clients and that was that. That was the basic idea of the blog, I found myself agreeing and thinking of adding to my other site those ideas, in the form of something like only serious enquiries; don’t waste your money, your time, My time when I can be helping someone who really wants it. I was really brainstorming with this, and was starting to edit another site of mine for recovery experts. As I was thinking of how to write something along these lines for this site. I was remembering how God introduced me to recovery.

Once again God was teaching me. This time on how easy it is to become opinionated, close minded and heartless. All while attempting to be giving and caring, because that is why I do all this. How FREAKIN ARROGANT of me to deny the idea of recovery to anyone, or decide who is allowed to recover or receive what I may have to give. Sometimes we are not in the business of recovery, per se, sometimes we are in the business of seed planting!
Here I reflect on my own humble beginnings in recovery. I was first introduced to A.A. in 1985 or so. Back while I was in prison. I really don’t remember much of anything or even what A.A. really was. All I knew was it got me out of my cell got me seeing other people sometimes even women; there was free coffee and donuts. There were a few of my cronies as we’d sit in the back ogle the women, talk trash and scarf down donuts and coffee. I was told they’d give me a letter or something for my file for the parole board. It would look good and the parole board always liked this stuff when deciding if they would give you parole. That and the old blue signs {the 12 steps and the 12 traditions (not the white ones they have now)} at the front is all I really remember. Even though I really didn’t hear the message consciously. However sub consciously I like to think the seed was planted. I believe it made it easier when I finally did get here. Then even when I did get here, through no genius of my own. I only Got here looking for “three hots and a cot”. One of the reasons I’m glad they took the honest desire part out and replaced with a desire. For when I got here, I only had a desire for three hots and a cot. That and perhaps better luck and/or an even break.
Then even after the fog starting to lift, and I started to hear the message, and I started getting it. I went out and relapsed. So yes everybody deserves a chance, sometimes more than one.
Remember God does not create garbage

Easy Does It But DO IT

Yes this is my personal mesh of 12 step philosophy mixed with the Nike logo. I do this because I believe in Easy Does It, however I seen this philosophy used as an excuse for procrastination “I’ll get around to it” to avoidance to downright ignoring it. There is a lot to be said for Easy Does It, there is no point doing something and rushing through just to do a half assed job and screwing it up or even making it worse. There is nothing wrong to putting something off till you can give it the proper attention required. However putting something off because it is uncomfortable, or hard. Saying I’ll get around to it, or avoidance is just plain bullshit. Just Do It, Get it over with and more than likely the fear of it was nothing more than the workings of your mind. Many times I have had to face something that seemed large and insurmountable. The challenge appeared to be like attempting to jump the Grand Canyon on a 10 speed only to look back after and seeing it was nothing more than a puddle. A dragon that was nothing more than a rabbit.
It’s like a lot of the stuff I’ve posted here. You are never going to accomplish getting it all overnight it is a process. However nothing will ever be accomplished without taking the first step and as equally important continuously putting one foot after the other day after day. Establish a regular daily routine for yourself. Time is the great equalizer. I don’t know about you, but I was out there using and abusing, lying and cheating for 20 years. That mindset, behaviours and life doesn’t change overnight. The old-timers used to tell me it’ll take 5 years to get my head out of my asse, and another 5 to get the ring off my neck. I didn’t believe them when they told me this. They just weren’t as smart as I was. They didn’t have the resources I did. After 5 years I understood again at 10 years I had a better understanding. In 25 days I’ll be celebrating 18 years Clean and Sober. I’ve learned a lot in that time, one of the things I’ve learned is I still have so much to learn. Even with all I have learned I still have not mastered it all. It’s not what you know in your head as a theory, It’s what you live on a day to day basis.
The Journey does not end. It just gets more exciting. Because it’s all about the journey and how you experience it. The destination is mute.

The 12 step Program is not something you work into your life A bit at a time, or what is comfortable. It is not something you practise when you have the time. It is something you submerse yourself in. It is a way of life. A total way of living, of dealing with life. It is a way of living that will make sense of this insane world we live in, and allow you to be Happy Joyous and Free beyond your imaginings. You are worth it. This is your ticket to Ride in Happiness.
Remember God does not create garbage

Daily Meditation

Meditation as I talked about before is essential in having a conscious contact with your higher power. Meditation is good for the soul. I’ve expounded on this is where we listen to God. However I really want to speak of another benefit, almost as important.
What I want to talk about now, is the benefit meditation has on our mental health and balance. I’m speaking of the brain and our thinking now. The brain and it many wonders. Namely the faculty of thinking, for creativity, visualization, reasoning and the list is quite extensive. However the brain is like the most efficient and brilliant computer ever devised. It is truly a wondrous gift from our God. It is a wonderful, if not the most precious tool our God has bestowed upon us. However it is just that; a TOOL. The point being is do you control your thinking or does your thinking control you. We all have those times when our minds just don’t seem to stop, going from one thought to another. Keeping us awake, not letting us focus. How many times have your actions been controlled by irrational thinking? For most of us, it has never even donned on us that the functions of our brains, such as thinking needs to be trained and disciplined. First off our brains and thinking patterns have been seriously distorted and damaged from abuses and lack of discipline, not to mention the damage done by alcohol and drugs. Developing a daily routine of meditation, at least once a day; can help bring your thinking more under control and disciplined. A daily routine will help you to get more focused, clear your thinking. As you become more at ease and adept at meditation, it will in still clarity and instils greater discipline and direction. You can also use meditation to quite the unquiet mind, when it is racing. When it seems that your thoughts are scrambled. A few quite moments in meditation will get your thinking under your control, rather than your random thoughts controlling you.
Remember God does not create garbage

Trudging the road of happy destiny????

Trudging the road is just part of life. Without the rain would we appreciate the sun? Another one of those nice and fluffy clichés. You know what I say about clichés. However when you’re in the midst of trudging the last thing you want to hear is clichés. I know I’ve done my share of trudging. As a matter of fact I am currently trudging. I’ve been looking for new employment for almost 5 months now and not finding anything financially suitable. Living hand to mouth, building up a larger and larger debt load. Been fighting worrying about it. However I know this too shall pass (another lovely cliché). We all run into hard times. Times when it seems that the whole world is against us, or at least it feels that way. Times when it seems we just can’t catch a break. Times when it seems that our God has forsaken us. It’s in these times when we believe as a whole we’ve been doing the right things and living a principled life. That the committee really works hard. The short cuts seem so appealing. The justifications are all there. However it is in these times when we must be ever vigilant. We must pray more; spend more time with loved ones that support us. We must give of ourselves more. Do more meetings, talk to our support group and sponsor more often. Even though at these times we’d rather not. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, doing what is right and what is right in front of us. I know that things are really not as bad as I sometimes feel they are. In all reality it’s just not where I want to be. I know that my God will take care of me and your God will take care of you for in fact even if we perceive God differently it is the same God. I also know for history has taught me this is not the first hard time we’ve faced and more than likely not the last. And just like the last time it will pass we will have learned something and be stronger for it. The sun will shine brighter, happiness and joy will be renewed. For our God did not bring us this far just to forget us. Have Faith
Remember God does not create Garbage

Trudging the Road

Shame and Guilt

I once had a counsellor whose motto was “screw guilt”. Shame and guilt are nothing more than gifts from God. Close your mouth and don’t look so baffled. They are part of the conscience. Shame and guilt are nothing more than an indication of something being amiss. They are there to tell you in no uncertain terms that you have violated your own values, moral code, and your own sense of what is right and wrong. It is telling you that you need to take action. Nothing more. If you have been experiencing guilt and shame for a few days, a week or even a month. It is your own value system telling you to step up to the plate and take action. If it has been longer than this than you have either not properly gone through the steps as outlined earlier. If you have and are still experiencing shame and guilt then you are having issues with ego in reverse. Yes ego in reverse, part of the ego saying” I am so terrible, nobody else has been as rotten as me” EGO. That and still a bit of a God complex, for if God forgives you (and make no mistake God does- for that is what God is and God does. God is love, and Love forgives) who are you not to forgive yourself if God does. For that matter who are you not to forgive anyone if God does. So if you are done playing God.
Time for the action. The action is quite simple. Name it Claim it. To do this two steps are required. First- Confession is good for the soul, also mental health and well being. This doesn’t mean you have to become catholic and go to confession with a priest. It means that shame and guilt will grow and fester like a cancer if not brought out into the light of day. You need to confide in your sponsor and your personal support group (the peers you’ve culled that accept you for you) A few close friends. Secondly you need to make amends, apologize and then do whatever it takes to make it right. That’s it, pretty simple, not necessarily easy, yet simple all the same. After that the shame and guilt will gradually diffuse. If shame and guilt persist then you perhaps require a little more discourse on the subject. And check that you took appropriate action rather than skimping (minimizing).
Remember God does not create garbage

TEDxHouston - Brené Brown

Just for Today// One Day at a Time

Living in today. This helps applying the last post. However the truth is that, like the saying, most of us spend our days either living in the past and/or future, thus with one leg and yesterday and one leg in tomorrow, you are pissing all over today. Today is a gift from God that is why it’s called the present. Ok enough of the clichés, however do you know how a saying becomes a cliché? The test of time has proven it as a truth! Anyways back to the topic at hand. A lot of us spend enormous amounts of time reliving past experiences, mistakes choices. It is all a waste of time! History cannot be changed; perhaps a very small time can be spent constructively learning from the error. However key word small amount. The past is the past; Let the dead bury the dead. There is a very large amount of us who spend far too much time in the future. Dreaming of a better life, instead of creating it today. Worrying about how the kids are going to be able to go to college/university. How this or that is going to get paid. Not to mention the incredible amount of time spent fruitlessly on “what ifs”. You may have an inkling of what the future MAY bring. However in reality you can never fully know. Life can change in an instant! Nobody woke up today planning to fall from a ladder, drown, have a car accident, be hit by a vehicle, slip on a walkway and become paralyzed ETC... In short Life happens. Yes you can spend a LITTLE amount planning for things a vacation, bill payments, retirement and planning a budget, however these are short little chores. Done and over with, occasionally a little time spent re-evaluating and adjusting.

However Life is what happens when you’re planning for it, unfortunately for most, by the time they finish planning and refining their plans for life it is almost over and they have missed the best parts. There are no ordinary moments. Life is NOW. Live it. Experience it. This does not mean that we become irresponsible and live like there is no tomorrow forsaking our familial or financial responsibilities. It means learn how to appreciate today. The encounters with others, including co-workers families, strangers. Notice the sunrise, the sunset, the flowers, and the wind. Live today as if it might be your last, with the capability that it might not be. If you do this you will live this life more fully and abundantly. Because in all reality today is your life PERIOD. Yesterday is history, and nothing you do can change it, and Tomorrow might not come, or might be completely different that anything you would have thought. And if you live today to the fullest. Than tomorrow will take care of itself and you’ll be all set to repeat the procedure of abundance.
Remember God does not create garbage

More on Giving

I want to expound more on this aspect of giving.” It is in giving that we receive.” Nice words, great concept. An idea that is quite easy to grasp, theoretically. However in practice, not so easily grasped and practiced. I mean think of it, no I mean really get into the spirit. Think how wonderful it is at Christmas time, we all look forward to the season. The season of giving. How do you feel when you go wherever you go for Christmas? Most of us there may be a little trepidation, depending on the family situation. However generally we are excited, and the good feelings, warmth and cheer, as everybody is cheery and in giving spirits. How does it feel when you see the look on a person’s face when they are exchanging and opening gifts? There it is the spirit of giving.

We have all either said or heard why everyday can’t be like Christmas. And why can’t we all behave the way people generally behave during the holiday. Well generally after this period people as a general revert right back to their day to day attitudes. Let’s face it for most of us it’s all about what we can get. We do things for what we get in return. It has been ingrained in us, it’s the way our society operates, and it’s all about what you can get. If you do this you’ll get that. How often do you see people, corporations doing something just because it is the right thing to do, without any thought of return? Sadly this is the way most of the world operates. That is why people such as Mother Teresa and the like were so special. This is also why most of us cannot practice a lifestyle of giving. Also why we generally end up depressed and disillusioned, we are always expecting a return and not always receiving the return we expected. Thus keeping us from happiness and reaping the rewards of a “spirit of Giving” can give.
In denying this aspect you’re denying an aspect of your make-up. You are a Child of God, One of the main components of God thus you are Love. To have and truly feel love it must constantly be given.
Remember God does not create garbage

Wanting More

This is an issue that can still plague us in recovery. How many times do you want more love, affection, attention, and understanding from your partner? What about more respect, appreciation from the kids? Or more appreciation, respect, money from employers? A fair shake or bigger piece of the pie from Life? A smaller plate from God. The list can go on. However it is this constant desire for more that keeps us from happiness. Now don’t get me wrong here, this drive for a better life also drives us to be better strive harder ETC... I am not suggesting that you should just give up. My point is rather on how we look at it. Happiness is first off not found from things. This being said and acknowledged the second part to this is learning to be happy with and appreciative with what you have rather than focusing on what you do not have. This will bring greater happiness. I know now you’re sitting there saying “yea sure, easier said than done.” You are right it is easier said than done. Even harder is maintaining this thought pattern.
However my true point of all of this is in the way we go about it. Now you’re probably wondering what in the heck I mean by that. Well let me explain, you have to shift your perception, or more precisely your way of thinking. We have all heard that “it is in giving that one truly receives.” This is the absolute truth, when you are focused on giving, you get >. Let me elaborate a little here, if I concentrate on “giving my love and devotion to my partner, and my children and my work, then the love in me just grows and I am in the middle of the flow of love. You see love, abundance, everything is an energy and when I stop giving this energy in my. It is like a river, when you damn it and stop the flow it begins to back up and stagnate when there is no flow I fell less of the energy. If I continue to give it continues to flow. Thus I feel the constant of the energy. However if I am just giving for the purpose of receiving then I am not really giving thus no returns. Because I have expectations or demands on what I give. When I give freely. It all comes back It is in giving that we truly do receive. However what we receive is fulfillment, joy love, grace, peace, serenity. Once again there are parables about this as well “do not cast your pearls among swine” You have to you the brain Your God gave you and most of all you must trust the Guidance of Your higher power. On how and when to Give and serve.
Remember God does not create garbage

What am I missing??

Hi all. Sorry to all who looked for a posting today. I wrote one last night, however in my rush I had pushed save rather than post. Then I didn’t check. I apologize, hopefully if you needed some inspiration you went and checked out the extensive posts in the archive list down the side of the blog. Enough of yesterday, time to deal with today’s blog. I was thinking of just posting the one I had planned for yesterday. However I’m sure you already figured out that is not the plan or why would I be writing about it. Well you’re right.

I was talking to a dear friend of mine today. Actually I was chatting on Face book, a new experience for me. As I’ve never been into the whole chat thing or the social network stuff, However it is the way of the world now, and we have to adapt ourselves to the world as it will not adapt to me. Seeing as I have preached this, it was time for me to practise it, and learn this new way. But I’m way off point now. As I said I was chatting with a dear friend of mine, and they were sharing that she was working with her sponsee, and she mentioned that her sponsee was having trouble with the fear of missing out on something, doing this recovery bit. Well I know my dear friend could relate to that old lie. I remember watching her battle it. And well that was my life for the longest time. Looking back, I can see now that was one of my biggest problems in life. I was always afraid I was missing something or the party some fun somewhere. I look back at my work history, I used to get jobs easily enough, and then really work hard for one to even as long as three months, earn some respect and even admiration from my employer. Once I had it, or thought they had an idea of how good I could be, and then it started. I’d miss days, be late come in drunk/high. Leave early, basically become totally irresponsible and unreliable. I was missing the party having fun. This would continue until they would pull me aside for “the talk” which I would have excuses and say “yea-yea” and placate them tell them it wouldn’t happen anymore and go back to performing properly and responsibly for maybe a week or two then back to the party, forcing them to eventually firing me. Then I’d wonder why I was such a good employee. The fact was that when I went to work to work and followed what was required I was. However this only happened in the beginning, then I start feeling I was missing out. This was my behaviour/pattern in all aspects of my life, family, friends, relationships children; creditors, everyone and everything involved in my life got the same treatment. I always had to get back to the party, the action, I might miss something, and it got worse the lies grew the length of time grew, the deceits grew, and then the cheating and stealing started. All for the same reason, I might miss something.

In all reality it was this thinking that made me miss something, actually many things. My life, lost my family, lost countless friendships, lost countless relationships, lost kids, lost material possessions of 100s of thousands of dollars, lost credibility, lost my freedom in more ways than one—(jails—freedom of choice now had to drink and/or drug just to get through the day, never mind live with myself) mostly I lost any shred of self respect, self love, self confidence,. Thinking I might be missing something came very close to me losing life, Actually In all reality I should have, many times over. But God had a different plan for me. But for the Grace of my God. I should be doing life or six feet under.
Remember God does not create garbage

Dr. Wayne Dyer - Your Divine Purpose 3 of 3

Dr. Wayne Dyer - Your Divine Purpose 2 of 3

Tony Robbins - Tiny Changes Mean Huge Results

Clarity & Purpose By Anthony Robbins

Dr. Wayne Dyer - Your Divine Purpose 1 of 3

Wayne Dyer/The Awakened Life -- Part 2

The Awakened Life -- Part 1 -- Dr. Wayne Dyer

Being Self Aware

Hello my fellow recovering friends. Today I’m going to blog a little differently, and share a little more of myself today. Like I’ve been discussing in the last week or so, about being self aware. Am truly that is it is all about be aware of self, your behaviours and trends into unhealthy behaviours and habits
The other day I was trying my hand at baking. Now mind you I’ve never been much of a baker. Never really tried much. I am a pretty fair cook and have worked in kitchens, been a kitchen manager ran a cafe. So figured baking can’t really be that difficult. So I attempted to make a strawberry pie, from scratch. Well let’s just say the experiment did not turn out so well. First off attempted to make the crust with butter rather than lard. Well I just can’t get it came out not flaky, however that would have been somewhat acceptable. However the filling just didn’t make it at all. Runny and bitter, I figured didn’t need much sugar as strawberries pretty sweet, right. Well my pie was wretched. I was so upset with myself. I’m supposed to be perfect. The pie was supposed to be great. At the very least somewhat good. Well it wasn’t even edible, in my opinion. I was grouchy for almost an hour. Talk about acceptance, and turning it over.
So I get over that. Or so I thought. I get my wife a new phone for her birthday. One of these new fangled smart phones. Well actually her birthday was last week, however it took a week with negotiations with Phone Company to get a new plan as our old contract had run out. So we had to haggle with provider for a good retention plan. Finally got a good plan with extras. So went and got the phone. Well I get a little frustrated with the wife. Because she is not setting it up the way I think she should. She’s playing and discovering all the bells and whistles. I’m telling her she needs to read the manual and then get the apts from the computer. And she’s just enjoying it and playing. Well I’m getting frustrated because don’t you know she should be doing it my way. I decide to go have a cigarette, well that gives me time to look at my behaviour. I realize that I haven’t completely let go of my pie failure the previous night. So I need to be right about the phone now. Instead of just letting her enjoy her present her way, after all it is for her. How childish of me. So I had to laugh at myself, go back in and apologize to my patient lovely wife, and just let her enjoy her present her way. Sometimes the committee can make me very childish. Must constantly work at being self aware.
Remember God does not create garbage

The Deadliest Battle

Yes the hardest battle. That is the one that a person with an addictive personality, or actually all people Have. And that is the one has inside oneself. The one where you argue with yourself, you know the committee. The one that tells you. That it is okay to have just one. Or the thought that you can get away with it, this one time. Whether it be using, drinking, stealing, cheating ETC... You know those secret battles we have with ourselves. No matter how much time you have. Whenever things get a little tight, stressed or a little great even. It’s that committee always in the background. For us in recovery, that is where the relapse starts. If we succumb to those thoughts, then they just snowball> It may not even be immediate it may lie in wait for days, months even years. That’s what we talk about when we say our disease is always waiting. It’s out there in the parking lot right now doing push-ups. Just staying in shape, so if and when I open the door and give it a chance it cam pounce in full strength, to take me down. That is why we must be ever vigilant. I never want to put my friends and family through the hell that I am capable of dragging them when I’m actively drinking/using. Or myself for that matter
Remember God does not create garbage.

Veterans Day// Rememberance Day

Oh yes the day of remembering. Our Forefathers who put their lives on the line for our way of life. It has come to the time when there are not many left who remember those days. Yet we must honour those who died, were injured and the lucky ones who made it home. As recovering alcoholics/Addicts there is even more that we should take time to look back and be grateful. Like Those back before the program. The town drunks, the Addicts who were despised all those that were committed to asylums. And those that didn’t make it to the rooms and died horrible lonely deaths. All the ones that refused to do the work, or those who just didn’t get it. All the ones who went back out and died horrible lonely deaths. All the families, friends that had to watch as their friends and loved ones succumb to the pains and debauchery of alcoholism and addiction. All the ones on the street today tormented the families and friends suffering today. All the lost souls in the streets today. But for the grace of God. There go I. We have a lot to be remembering and to be thankful for. Today we are the lucky ones. Today we are the blessed.
Remember God does not make garbage

Being Real

What exactly does being real mean? That is an excellent question. First off to be real, one must truly know themselves. And to be totally honest how many of us really know who we are? We have an idea of who we think we are. We have gotten a glimpse at ourselves from our step work. We have a perception of what we think we are supposed to be. We have a perception of what are roles in life are and we let them sometimes define us. Many of us are guilty of talking one life, yet living another. Then we blame it on – well I have to work, or I have to keep my job, I have to feed my family, this is real life. And so on and so on. However the truth is we are what we are. Do we really know and accept that or do we still blame the way we are on society, the need to support our families ETC... I mean you know things about you. However can you define who you are as a person? Another part of this is truly knowing your own personal value system. We all have one. Most of us know what values are and we usually say that family, honesty, integrity, sense of self, charitable, are the ones that are usually on the top of the list. However when hard times and hard situations happen. What do we do?? These are the true values. Sometimes you have a person that says family is number one, yet the when times are hard or slightly stressed and you need to work late all week and miss seeing the kids or going to family functions. We excuse it with well I have to financially take care of my family. When probably the money made was for extras that we wanted in our lives. Rather than just put food in the fridge and a roof overhead. So what is the true value? Another obstacle to being real IMAGE> especially in today’s culture. How would it look? Rather than being true to you, we are more concerned in what others would say. We always say beauty is on the inside and that’s what counts. Yet how many of us really live this. We are too concerned on how we look, the clothes we wear, the toys we have.
Just something to ponder.
How real are you?
Remember God does not make Garbage

Powerless ????

Today I am Not Powerless! If I take that first drink or drug, I will again become powerless. However I have done what The 12 step program has laid out for me to do> I have done the 12 step program and continue to follow the program and the steps. Therefore I am no longer powerless, and neither are YOU. If you have followed the program, done the 12 steps, continue to follow the principles and steps. You are and I are both empowered to achieve the unimaginable. You are fully empowered to achieve anything. As long as you follow the principles, do what’s right and what is right in front of you. You can achieve anything you can imagine and even that which you can’t imagine. As long as it is God’s will. For your God will give you all the strength and power you require to achieve anything. This does not mean that it will not be difficult. Or that there will not be trials, tribulations and obstacles. However if you are following the principles, doing what is right, having faith and doing God’s will he will give you the strength, power and anything needed to accomplish his will. So align your will with that of the God of your understanding. And anything will be achieved.
Remember God does not create garbage

Live Life

The Message not the Messenger

Never judge a book by its cover. You may miss the message. In essence always listen when someone speaks in a meeting. Even if you can’t stand the person. Sometimes even more then. Even if you know the person and you think they have no morals and/or principles. Even if they are a chronic relapse. Surprisingly these people can have the most profound messages of all. Just because they don’t seem to follow it or their words smack of hypocrisy. Does not mean the message is not sound. They may be saying what they need to learn. Or they might be saying what they can’t seem to get. Possibly God may be using them to send you a message. Always listen to the message. Not the messenger. I you were dying of thirst, desperately needing some water to quench your thirst and revive you. Would you care about the vessel it came in? Would you throw the life giving substance away if the cup were dirty, or came in a leaf? Also remember that this person may not be who or where you think they should be> However who died and made you God. This person may be an example of what and who you would like to be viewed as or who and what you would not like to be viewed as. Remember everyone has a message. Also remember that you do not live in this persons head/ skin, you do not know their life. There may be reasons not known to you the compels the actions and behaviours they have. Again who are you to judge? Judge not less thee be judged. Remember the part of the Lord’s Prayer “forgive us are trespass’s as we forgive those that have trespassed against us” Also interpreted “judge us as we have judged others”. Also might remember that you are not perfect, and how long ago was it when others regarded you the same way or worse. Remember always “But for the Grace of God”.
Remember God does not create garbage

Time

I know I’ve touched on it before. We’ve gone over allot of stuff here. I don’t expect you all to get it all down and be perfect. Again Acceptance, basically that you will occasionally fall short of the standards you set forth for yourself. That’s ok; you’re right where you are supposed to be. Yes I hated that one too. Some of the things we’ve gone over are actually quite difficult to completely comprehend and accept. Much less be able to put into daily life. This is where time comes in; there is no better teacher than time. You may have gotten the understanding to a degree. Yes a degree, as knowledge is part of understanding. For true understanding will take experience and only time can bring experience. With time and experience will come wisdom and wisdom will give a deeper understanding, or more precisely a knowing. You can have all the text book knowledge and learning that you can get. However you will only have partial understanding and partial knowledge. Time and experience completes the understanding and fulfils the knowledge thus creating wisdom. Without the experience it is only a partial knowledge. There is no way to avoid the aspect of time. With time comes experience and wisdom. There is no shortcut. So be easy on yourself.
Remember God does not create Garbage