Patience

Patience, Like all of us in recovery, patience was a hard one to learn. We live in a society of instant coffee, instant mashed potatoes the list goes on and on, our whole society is geared for instant results. However if you tried any of these instant products or services you find that they are usually lacking and not very good compared to the real "McCoy", as it is with recovery. You just can't have the learning wisdom and experience that ONLY time gives. However we still want it . We look sometimes at all the time we wasted and want to get back to life, to get back to work to get back to our relationships, to get relationships, to start families and so on. This can be very dangerous, not only to ourselves but to the ones we involve. The bottom line is we need time to really recover, and tackle the mainstream once again. Part of recovery is giving oneself adequate time to recover, to be in a position, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually to re-integrate in the mainstream of society.

Let's look at the facts it took us years sometimes decades to get to the state we have found ourselves in. Another hard fact is that we stopped growing emotionally and spiritually, when we started our using, so that makes us emotionally the age when we started using. Any wonder why we had continued failed relationships or problems in our relationships. The other fact is that it is going to take years to actually recover from the abuses we have done to ourselves. Rule of thumb is that you should take time to get back into the mainstream , each individual case varies mind you, A month to six months is a usual good frame again depending on the state you arrived in. Another is as suggested in most programs not to make any serious decisions in the first year, relationships being a serious decision. The "Big Book" states " sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but it will come if you work for them".

I remember a couple of "Oldtimers" telling me that it takes five years to " get your head out your ass and then another five years to get rid of the ring around your neck", I just nodded and thought to myself yea well that's just because you were so pickled and didn't have the resources I have nor the treatment facilities in those days and because your not as smart or determined as I am. Well at five years I understood what they meant slightly and at ten years almost completely understood. The habits and habitual thinking that was ingrained from the way I had lived for so long, took time for the perceptions to change for my outlook on live to change. most of it came very early, however it was the subtle little things and the instant reactions that still was there.

Life does get better actually quite quickly but it's the underlying things ingrained that will trip you up if you do not continual look for them and work on your recovery. Big things are easy to recognize and to work on. It's the little things, comments we utter , thoughts , the little actions, we ignore , rationalize, justify, that will trip us up. constant vigilance.

If you try to rush the process you'll get rushed results. If you work on it and have patience and faith you will get more than you could ever imagined. So don't cheat yourself.

One other thing remember to be careful what you pray for. I made the mistake of praying for patience as I believe alot of us do I found out after as many related to what I about to tell you. My God listens and knows that for me to truly have this trait I've prayed for then I need to learn it , so my God gave me new and wonderful ways to "LEARN" patience.
Remember God does not make Garbage.

Just For Today/ One Day at a Time

This saying can be confusing and sometimes irrateting (to say the least) to newcomers. Yes in some instances time really does matter and in making some decisions one must really explore the past histories and future possibilities. However in recovery when we are quoting the phrase, it ussually an attempt to soothe a person in turmoil, distress and/or just basically overwhelmed by one or more situations. The basic aspect this is used to relieve is the habit that most addictive personalties have in dealing with problems , we get all caught up in our heads and try to remedy "percieved catastrophies" right now and usually involving mutltiple outcomes, scenarios and fixes. With the perception that this is a catastrophy and monumental and that nobody can understand, and I need an imediate solution, or my world will fall apart. As well as of course the aspect of getting Clean and Sober can only be done one day at a time and sometimes in the begining for some of us we have to break that down to just for this moment I won't use, and then just for this hour I won't drink, and so on.

When sh*t happens and it will because that is just life. It's not like you come into recovery and get clean and sober and your life just turns into fantasy land and the world just gives you everything and all problems are eliminated. Not Even close Everybody in recovery has Life problems and unexpected situations, possibly even more than "normys". Yes miraculous things will happen and fantastic oppotunities will present themselves, however so will everyday life and that is all it is is life on lifes terms. However in recovery you will learn how to put these catastrophies into perspective, how to see the big picture, you will know that it is not the "end of the world" or even earth shattering it is but life, and it will be ok.

No matter what the situation, a mate leaves us, a mate cheats on us, a loved one dies, lose a job, an accident, getting audited, getting charge,incarcerated, whatever the situation. We learn to stop mostly the racing in the mind, we Breathe in and out, we reach out ( sponsor, peer group, support group, God) pray, Then look at the big picture right at this moment, am I alive, do I have food in my stomach, do I have a roof over my head (even just temporary). Then right at this moment things are OK, Not fantastic but ok. next examine what issue is, Have I done everything I am capable of doing at this moment, calmy do what you can right at this moment and leave the rest to when it is possible no use dwelling on things that can not be done. Now Just do what is Right and what is right in front of you, if you do just that you will be amazed at how many things will take care of themselves.

As for situations as stated above, it's not to belittle them or to ignore how painful some of these life events can be, however that's all they are is life events normal everyday life occurences> Sometimes what we perceive as painful unjust curses, end up being just the opposite and are actual blessings. Lets look at a death, painful and tragic and this is amplified depending on how close we were to the individual and the circumstances, however it is a fact of life we are born and we will die, in this world we live in there are many possibilities how this will come about, yet it will happen, and depending on your beliefs what becomes of the departed,? they got to heaven, reincarnation, vahalla, ETC, we just don't want them gone they our supposed to stay here with us, what if they have been suffering, isn't the option of not in this world are they better off in a better place, yet selfishly we weren't ready to let them go. Not that we do not need to grieve, to feel the loss and the separation is painful sometimes even more depending on the circumstances, yet can you change it? Can you bring them back to life? Can you go back in time and prevent it? Reality is they are gone . Sad but reality, Painful but reality. Wrongfully, possibly but realty. Reality is reality and we have to adjust ourselves to reality because it will not adjust itself to us. If we want to be happy, joyous and free and we want those around us to have this too then we have no alternative but to accept reality for what it is, you don't have to like it but you need to accept it, even if you believe it to be wrong or unjust. If this is the case then all the more reason to accept it because it is the way to move on and in moving on we can do more about recovery and in recovery we recreate ourselves and the world in which we live making for a better reality for all is the ultimate goal only it starts with ourselves. As for mates leaving losing jobs etc. How many times have you heard some one or yourself saying "I just got the best job I ever had, they have this and that" or "I just met the best mate in the world they're understanding loving caring Yaddda Yadda" Well would that have happened if they were still at the old job, or with the Ex. Probably not. It's like the old saying, When one door closes another opens, We just have to be open to see and looking for it it might only be a crack open or a window. However if your dwelling in the past and fighting reality you will probably miss fantastic opportunities TODAY.
Remember God does not make Garbage

The Importance of Meetings

This is where we find strengh. Espcially in early recovery. When we first arrive in recovery, we know very little about how to change our lives, and have very little hope if any that things will ever get better. We go to meeting a find people actually joking, laughing and having a good time, people smiling and hugging. It seems pretty strange in the beginning. Then we hear people share, sometimes some wonderful things sometimes horrible things. There is sometimes tears , but almost always there are smiles and laughs that usually prevail. After a time you feel a sort of energy or calmness in the rooms.

Here we find the hope and strength. With this human interaction we begin to get "new life", we here from others sharing the courage to carry on the triumph of overcoming life's tragedies, the dignity of the human spirit, the depths of our depravities, and we begin to see we are not the only ones who have reached these levels that had disgusted us that had us full of shame and guilt, we see and hear of others, mostly we see they have found a way out and away to rid this feeling and feel good about life, to enjoy life once more. We begin to feel part of, to be greeting personally with warm hand shakes, hugs and genuine concern and caring. We begin to feel wanted once more.

And then we hear about service work if only just making coffee or opening the meeting, and this begins to give us a feeling of purpose once more, to slowly open that which has been long crushed to feel useful once more. These are what our meeting do for us. After a few days, months years in we sometimes we forget these blessing. We need always remember, what the meeting gave us, and to without our attendance how can this be carried to the person coming in . If your not there!
Remember GOD does not make garbage

Step 2

Life Recovery Center - Step Two

Moving On

So up to this point, we have seen and discovered for ourselves the truth of Step one for ourselves, We have seen the futility of continuing to succumb to our addictive personalities, we have looked at our history and seen the truth for ourselves . by now hopefully you have come to the point of admitting to your innermost self the powerlessness of continued use and abuse of self. So at this point we come to see our dilemma; pertaining to alcohol, drugs, our decision making abilities in creating better lives for ourselves and the general influence of those in our life's. We have come to see that we our powerless, hence our dilemma is the "lack of power".

The 12 step Program has the solution to our dilemma, Step two, " Came to Believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity".

Alas for most of us , now another dilemma, deep down inside most of us now at least inwardly flinch at the "idea" of a power greater than ourselves. We have "played God" for so long , attempting to direct and orchestrate how things (life) situations would play themselves out.
Not to mention that Last word "sanity", Now your implying I'M insane, No However our behaviors and actions were insane.

There is a saying " insanity is doing the same things over and over expecting different results" I believe that we can all relate to this statement. How many times if we look at our histories, have we said never again , or if we just did it this way or that way or if didn't use this and on and on. Is this not insane behavior.

Now for me Step Two was a slow process. I first "Came" to the 12 step program, Then after some time and my brain became more clear, I " Came To", as time progressed. " I came to believe" that this 12 step program could help me, That there was hope, that things could change.
Then with the help of meeting, Sponsor, peer group I began to see that there were powers greater than self, such as nature, electricity. governments, police force, The Program, ETC..
And well we already touched on our insane actions. Take time to ponder this and always remember GOD does not make Garbage