Patience

Patience, Like all of us in recovery, patience was a hard one to learn. We live in a society of instant coffee, instant mashed potatoes the list goes on and on, our whole society is geared for instant results. However if you tried any of these instant products or services you find that they are usually lacking and not very good compared to the real "McCoy", as it is with recovery. You just can't have the learning wisdom and experience that ONLY time gives. However we still want it . We look sometimes at all the time we wasted and want to get back to life, to get back to work to get back to our relationships, to get relationships, to start families and so on. This can be very dangerous, not only to ourselves but to the ones we involve. The bottom line is we need time to really recover, and tackle the mainstream once again. Part of recovery is giving oneself adequate time to recover, to be in a position, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually to re-integrate in the mainstream of society.

Let's look at the facts it took us years sometimes decades to get to the state we have found ourselves in. Another hard fact is that we stopped growing emotionally and spiritually, when we started our using, so that makes us emotionally the age when we started using. Any wonder why we had continued failed relationships or problems in our relationships. The other fact is that it is going to take years to actually recover from the abuses we have done to ourselves. Rule of thumb is that you should take time to get back into the mainstream , each individual case varies mind you, A month to six months is a usual good frame again depending on the state you arrived in. Another is as suggested in most programs not to make any serious decisions in the first year, relationships being a serious decision. The "Big Book" states " sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but it will come if you work for them".

I remember a couple of "Oldtimers" telling me that it takes five years to " get your head out your ass and then another five years to get rid of the ring around your neck", I just nodded and thought to myself yea well that's just because you were so pickled and didn't have the resources I have nor the treatment facilities in those days and because your not as smart or determined as I am. Well at five years I understood what they meant slightly and at ten years almost completely understood. The habits and habitual thinking that was ingrained from the way I had lived for so long, took time for the perceptions to change for my outlook on live to change. most of it came very early, however it was the subtle little things and the instant reactions that still was there.

Life does get better actually quite quickly but it's the underlying things ingrained that will trip you up if you do not continual look for them and work on your recovery. Big things are easy to recognize and to work on. It's the little things, comments we utter , thoughts , the little actions, we ignore , rationalize, justify, that will trip us up. constant vigilance.

If you try to rush the process you'll get rushed results. If you work on it and have patience and faith you will get more than you could ever imagined. So don't cheat yourself.

One other thing remember to be careful what you pray for. I made the mistake of praying for patience as I believe alot of us do I found out after as many related to what I about to tell you. My God listens and knows that for me to truly have this trait I've prayed for then I need to learn it , so my God gave me new and wonderful ways to "LEARN" patience.
Remember God does not make Garbage.