Christmas Part 1

It’s that time of year again. The time of brotherly love, families, giving, charity and anxieties of all sorts. For some this a wondrous time, however for many others it is a time of dread. There are so many aspects that this time of the year brings up for everybody. For some this is a time of immense loneliness and pain. For others it is a time of dread, for others a time full of anxious moments. We shall try to address some of these in the coming days.

Today let us look at the aspect of loneliness and pain. For some of us we are miles and miles away from any family, and it is not feasible to go home. A phone call during the holidays is nice however there is still a lot of time feeling disconnected. For yet others we miles away from families and we have burnt many bridges, that the phone calls if at all possible are tense and short. While yet some us have burnt bridges that are unrepaired and/or unrepeatable (presently. There are those to without a family to connect with. In this mix there are those too whose family ties are too chaotic and/or dysfunctional that a call or visit is unthinkable, or potentially worse than being without. In this mix there are those who have not built very strong bonds yet in recovery to have established an extended family. Those whose pride gets in the way of accepting the invitations of others, mainly because they feel out of place, or “don’t want to impose. Or it is just too uncomfortable. In this mix and the time spent alone, the mind seems to only haunt and torment, bringing up all the people we have hurt, lost, pushed away, destroyed ties with. All the regrets and mistakes are there to haunt us. As well as all the hurts done to us.

It is in these times that we really need to be availing ourselves of all the meetings available. Get out; spend as much time with others in the program. Get to meetings, go for coffee. Cut down the time “the committee” has to mess up your thinking. Talk to your sponsor daily, talk to your recovery coach as often as possible, talk to your counsellor as often as available. Talk to your support system continuously. The less time alone the better. Bury the pride! Accept any and all invitations from program members and/or your support system to spend time with them at the holidays. They more or less understand what you are going through and want to help. In some if not most cases you will be helping them as much as you think they are helping you. In some instances you will be helping them more than you believe they are helping you. Remember recovery is not a one person job. We can’t do it alone. So talk constantly about what is going on for you. You will be amazed at how many others are experiencing the same feeling. You’re talking about it may just save the life or sobriety of the person beside you. Remember together we can do what we can’t do alone.
Remember your higher power didn’t bring you this far just to leave you hanging.
P.S. If you really need someone to talk with email me at wiledchild@live.ca ANYTIME-I will respond
Remember God does not create garbage

The Truth About Affirmations

What Louise Hay said in her video is really something to look at. Do you remember what I’m talking about? Probably not, when she suggested to just say the affirmation, I believe it was “I am lovable and deserving of love” while looking yourself in the eyes. While doing this, be aware of the feelings and/or inner voice that comes up for you. This is a really good exercise to see what is blocking you from receiving what you are worth. It is one of those old “lies” that you believed.

However that is not the point I wish to make. The point I am attempting to make here, is affirmations are nothing but a bunch of words, the way we generally use them they are worthless. They are just a bunch of words, which sound great at first. Just like a new story, or a new joke, however after a couple of times you stop listening or even hearing it. A little bit further down and you don’t even want to hear it. You may even know someone, or be that someone who went a little farther with this you wrote it down or even got one of those fridge magnets or stickers that are on the bathroom. Mirror in the corner. Or the bedroom mirror. However just like a picture in your house it was nice in the beginning and you were full of good intentions. But after awhile it’s just like that piece of art. It is still there and it is no less attractive and beautiful than the day you put it up. However it is just a piece of the furniture now you don’t even notice it.

Like I said earlier, affirmations are just a bunch of words. Much like the morning (or evening) newspaper) it was interesting and fresh when you got it , however by the end of the day , you’ve left on the bus, used it to wrap fish, put potato peelings in it, basically it’s ended up in the garbage. Useless and doing nothing for you.

Again just a bunch of words, just like the twelve steps, or the Bill of Rights, or the Declaration of Independence. Are you getting the point now? They are just words, however what the words mean to you, and more importantly what are you going to do with them. As I said earlier the way we generally use them, make affirmations worthless. The key is learning how to make affirmations work for us. We are told that we need to keep repeating them till they work into our subconscious and take effect. However most of us understand the whole idea and basis for them. We generally believe it a good idea, sound logic. However we never really learn how to properly use them. We say them and at first feel a little weird and stupid saying them, however we do it because we believe in the logic and want them to work. However we keep doing it mumbling the words, with no real conviction or life. We even get the magnets or stickers. However after a short period of time we have stopped repeating them and barely even notice the magnet and/or stickers anymore. Why?? Because they have no life, no energy. That is the part that has been missed.

Just on a whim here, I want you to do something for me. I want you to pump your fist and shout “YES”, Do it like you just won one of the stupid little arguments, you know the ones were your friend or partner and you were saying it was like this or this is what happened and they are saying no this is what happened. And then someone validates you and you get all righteous and smart assed saying I told you. You know those stupid little things where we go I was right. Now you know that “YES” let’s try it again this time pump both fists. Just like your team scored the winning goal. You notice that energy, that life. Notice how your chest was a little puffed, your chin was up, your head up and held high, your shoulders back. Full of Life and Energy. That is how an affirmation has to be said numerous times with that same energy and life. You need to give it life and energy to be effective. A couple times a day. As a daily routine. Notice your feelings afterwards. You’ll notice a spring in your step. A pumped up feel good feeling. This is the life and energy that will give the affirmation life.
Remember God does not create garbage

Loving Yourself by Louise Hay Pt.2

Loving Yourself by Louise Hay Pt.1

God answers all prayers

Yes God hears and answers all prayers. Sometimes it may feel that God is not listening. It may feel that your higher power has not heard your pleas, and has forsaken you. This is not the case; God will never put more on your plate than you are capable of handling. Even though it may occasionally feel that you have a side plate and your higher power is dishing it up like you have a serving platter.

There are a number of reasons for these feelings. Sometimes the answer is just plain no. It is not in the grand design or the bigger picture. Sometimes the answer is not now. Usually though the answer is just you’re not listening. God has bestowed this wonderful gift upon us, this gift is the freedom of choice (it however sometimes may feel like a curse} Sometimes we are just making the wrong choices. We are looking for the easier softer way. We may be avoiding his will for us out of fear. Sometimes he has given us a way to what we are asking we are just not taking the correct path, because of the fear, or work entailed. For your higher power wants you to be happy joyous and free. However sometimes there is more involved than just “turning it over”. After all God does not put your pants on in the morning. Meaning Ask and it shall be given, however sometimes there is some work involved. Or God helps those that help themselves. And sometimes there are just some lessons to be learned and wisdom to be gained. When the student is ready. Bottom line is God did not bring you this far out the depths of hell, just to leave you hanging. There is a purpose; however we just usually cannot see it for we do not know the future.

Remember God does not create garbage

Achieving Emotional Sobriety