Step 3 Part 2

Step 3 Part 1

Keep It Simple

Sometimes espscially in early recovery , it can seem and feel all to complicated and confusing, more so when going through the steps. So just remember "you don't have to figure it all out. You don't have to try and find out howw it works or the keys to it" just know it works trust th process. Here is a little something (Just For TodayPhamphlet; Vancouver A.A.
Central Office)
JUST FOR TODAY;
Try to live through this day only, and not tackle your whole life problem at
once. You can do something for 12 hours that appall you if you felt that you
had to keep it up for a lifetime.

JUST FOR TODAY;
I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that
"most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

JUST FOR TODAY;
I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own
deires. I will take my "luck" as it omes, and fit myself to it.

JUST FOR TODAY;
I will ty to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful
I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort,
thought and concentration.

JUST FOR TODAY;
I exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and NOT
get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two
things I don't want to do---just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my
feelngs ar hurt; they may be hurt, but to-day I will not show it.

JUST FOR TODAY;
I will be agreeeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low,
act courteously, criticize not one bit, not find fault with anything, and not
try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.

JUST FOR TODAY;
I will have a programme. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it.
I will save myself from two pests; Hurry and Indecision.

JUST FOR TODAY;
I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During is half hour,
sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

JUST FOR TODAY;
I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful,
nd to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

Remember God does not create garbage

Gratitude List

When times are down, or when your not feeling so good about life when life happens, things are not going the way you wish they would or just plain down. One of the best tools you can use is The Gratitude List.

What you do is grab a pen and paper and start writing down the things your grateful for. Starting with just the material items you may have then add on the other aspects of your current life , such as a recovery community, meetings, family, sponsor, recovery friends and so on. Then go on to include the things that we normally take for granted such as, The use of a brain, eyesight, the use of limbs that work, living in the moment, I mean right at this moment are you starving , like many others around the world, do you have a roof over your head, again unlike many others around the world, the owning or at the very least access to a computer (your reading this), many around the world do not have this., Take a good look in the country you live in compared to many other countries around the world and all the things we take for granted that are luxuries in other parts of the world. A loving God who cherishes and adores you. Are things really so bad, or are you just being ungrateful for what you do have, and a little down because your "WANTS" are all not fulfilled. For true happiness we need to learn to be happy with what we have Rather than happy for the things we want. Point of interest as soon as one of our wants are fulfilled there are ten to take its place. So if your only happy when your wants are fulfilled you will never be happy. Happiness comes from within, Not from outside stuff.
remember God does not make garbage

Step Three continued

Now that we have "turned our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him" I give my troubles , my miseries, my frustrations over to God I no longer have to worry or do anything as God will miraculously take care of it all. WRONG. True you longer have to worry " if you worry don't pray, if you pray don't worry." That part is true God will take care of all . However with God it is a two way street. And as with any great gift come great responsibility, now have you are required to work on being more patient, tolerant, caring, giving and loving towards others. As well as this Just because we've turned all this over to God, does not mean I get to laze around in bed or on the couch doing nothing, as stated before this relationship is a two way street, God does not put my pants on in the morning. For example If I'm unemployed and need to find a job to support myself, and family, Then I need to take the appropriate actions, God will guide me and just may find getting a job in the strangest places doing wonderful opportunities , However this will not take place if I'm not doing my part in making ready showing up and doing what is required. When I do My part and watch for signs Then absolutely miraculous things will happen. I must always take responsibility to do my part. And God will do his and more than likely part of mine.
remember God does not create garbage

Step Three

" Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him."

Now make note of the last part of this step. (As we understood him) this is a very important part of step three, a vital part, it will not work without this ingredient. The important aspect here is that it be a God of your choosing and understanding, it is not up to another member to tell you direct you , or in anyway tell you who or what your God is. This is a very personal and intimate relationship , so it absolutely needs to be the God of your choosing and understanding, someone Else's God will not work for you you have to be comfortable and at peace with your own God, in this way will you be able to do as the step asks- to turn your will and your life in complete abandon, trusting in faith your God. In time as with most of us your concept, faith, trust and perception of your God will grow and change. However it is vitally imperative that the concept , trust faith and perception of your God ins one that your are completely comfortable with now.

As we have gone through step one and conceded to our innermost self that our way hasn't worked, "that a life run of self will just has not worked, and as doing the work in step one seen that lack of power has been our dilemma, and through the work in step two have seen that there is a power greater than ourselves, and that it will restore us to a sane life. Now come the part to start taking action.

In other words, If we have seen we our "powerless regarding our additive self and behaviors have produced a undesirable life and seen also a way out a power greater than ourselves with a way out. What are we going to do about it?

First off as the step suggests we make a decision. That decision being to "turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God.

Now a very important decision has to be made . That being the God of our understanding. For how are we to turn our lives and our wills over to something that we have no concept, faith or belief in. Let me clarify this a little. To turn my will over is basically turning over my "thinking" so here we must have some concept , trust faith and belief of our God, for explanation purposes I will share mine , he is peaceful , loving, caring, non judgemental , like a caring doting father. Thus My will I try to align to his loving ,caring, non judgemental, thoughts and thinking, And as for turning my life- this is my behaviors and actions, thus my behaviors and actions need to be loving , caring and non judgemental. Now our lives no longer belongs to us, It belongs to the God of our understanding, doing his will , Not that I will not at times fail and try to take my life back, however it is at these times where my life will become once again unmanageable and painful. However that is part of the human condition. Like most of us you will struggle at continuously through your sobriety.

It must be noted here that just as no one has forced their concept of a higher power or God on us we do like wise and not force our concept and/or understanding of our God on another. Also It is vitally important for us to understand at this point. Just because our God may be peaceful, loving, non judgemental, in no way do we become "door mats" we stand for what we believe in, "To Thine Own Self Be True", We learn to be assertive NOT aggressive but assertive .
Always remembering that we can " Agree to disagree" we do not force our beliefs and/or ways on others and likewise have the dignity and measure not to have others ways and/or beliefs forced on us..

Now once we have gotten to the point of having our own concept, trust , faith and belief in our God. We get on our knees and most of us use the prayer in the Bi Book or basic text, and we say a prayer such as this" God, I offer myself to Thee--- to build with me and do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of bondage of self, that I may better do thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy power, Thy love, and Thy way of life May I do Thy will always."
Now i know there is the constant debate over whether we need do actually get on our knees for this step. I believe the answer to be an resounding YES. It is a show of submission to your GOD. A sign of surrender. I know some of you'll say we are now persons of dignity who needed bend a knee to anyone. Well you your not bending knee to ANYONE but to your GOD. If there is further hesitation what is it really? perhaps EGO, or self will? I wonder if there is a real issue is it because you have not really surrendered in Step one, have you truly conceded to your inner most self? And have you truly done Step Two believe that there is a Power Greater than YOURSELF. I strongly suggest that you might want to revisit Steps One and Two.
remember God does not make garbage

Getting Real

That's really what recovery is all about. Getting Real, Getting honest with self. seeing the truth about self, and doing whats right. This is really difficult for us and not only us but the whole population. A society as a whole does not readily accept the truth most truths are attacked, and well as for doing what is right just look at the society we are surrounded with. Where dishonesty is praised and rewarded.

Back to the truth most people would rather not face the truth. First of we have all built up defense mechanisms against the truth, per Se denial, rationalization, justification to name a few.

Denial-Don't Even Notice I Am Lying- we are so locked up in what ever we are doing that we can't even see what we are really doing most of the time, haven't really taken a good look a it from a different perspective or are incapable of seeing it because our minds are so befuddled.
Or so lost in what are lives are and have been for so long do not even know any difference. We rationalize and/or justify our actions and behaviors by putting the blame on someone and/or something else, not taking responsibility for our own actions saying well if this hadn't happened or they hadn't done this I wouldn't have done that.

doing the right thing well, most of us have lived so long doing what we needed to to survive that we again justified and/or rationalized everything we new to be wrong. Even though most of us stopped seeing a lot of our actions as right or wrong they just were and some of it was just everybody else does it. However all this does is belittle ourselves we are putting ourselves down we are making all those lies be truth. the lies that we started to believe like we are no good, you'll never amount to anything' your just a___ anyway. We kill our own self respect and self image, and this keeps us in our disease. Because those are nothing but lies. And we need to start treating ourselves better if we hope to recover. When we do these things we prostitute our own values we sell our selves out. We do this because consciously or even sub consciously everyone in there being knows the difference between right and wrong and all human beings deep in their souls or inner self has an idea and concept of God and a similar value system . sometimes some values are valued higher than others in each individual the rankings are different BUT they are there none the less. Aware of it or not every time you go against your inner self you damage YOU, your self esteem and your self image the more you damage it the worse you feel. none of us need a Bill of rights, the 10 commandments or a set of laws because we all no the difference between right wrong. When you get quiet with self right in your chest you know. Every time you rationalize and/or justify you've crossed your own line.It doesn't matter what other people do or how they live, we do recovery for ourselves and are accountable for ourselves, PERIOD. Every time you sell yourself out. You make your recovery that much harder. we must always do our best to do what's right and what's right in front of us.

That's no to say we don't make mistakes. We are human and part of being human is mistakes. However a mistake is doing something and then realizing I've messed up. in recovery we do whatever it takes to remedy the situation. It does not give us a license to do wrong because it's convenient and I'll remedy it later.
Remember God does not make garbage