a few pointers and Slogans

Hello, hope you and God are on talking terms today. There are A few things I wanted to add on the list of materials I believe you should have on this journey. I mentioned before of the book depending on your fellowship- be it a "Big Book" , "The Basic Text" whichever as well as a copy of the original manuscript of A.A. as I believe the wording is much more precise in the first 164 pages. If you look through past posts you'll find a link to an online version. You'll also need a again depending on your fellowship a book of the steps, as well some fellowships have their own step guides- if not there our hundreds online and if still looking if you email me a have step guides. I also highly recommend a daily morning meditation book suck as A.A.'s "Daily Reflections" N.A.'s" Just for Today" Al anon's "One Day At A Time" there are hundreds of others Find one that appeals to you, This way you'll use it.

Now in early recovery, at times the people are speaking a different language, and in a sense they they're speaking recovery talk, you'll pick it up. I want to talk about some of the ones I personally are not to fond of or I believe in clarification. One of these is "one disease, one program. one sponsor, one fellowship" I don't particularly like this one , and let me explain why- one disease as whole I believe this part as for ME it comes down to all the fellowships are basically the same disease or close enough to be siblings if not twins. one program well yes because the program is the 12 Steps even if you change the word from alcohol to whatever and I to we it's all the same steps. One sponsor- ABSOLUTELY, One Fellowship well again for ME that doesn't sit well, let me relate for ME that doesn't work. When I first got into recovery it was intravenous drug use basically , Hell my drug of choice was "whatever you had- booze,drugs sex anything to take reality away". So I was in N.A. and very PROUD of it, I was an addict in the gutter looking down my nose at those sloppy drunks or any of those other 300 12 step fellowships don't you know that us addicts in N.A. had it all together and new the score better than all the rest. Well after awhile , again this is my experience. There was only a couple of N.A. meetings in my area and not alot of old timers. So I went to a Couple of those A.A. meetings and low and behold after awhile even though drugs had brought me to Recovery, I found that my addiction problems had started with Alcohol, so now I find I'm an alcoholic/Addict and being young in recovery with a chip on my shoulder per say and knowing how much it antagonized some of the real old timers I proudly said this in A.A. meeting with a heavy inflection on the addict part. But you know they put up with my arrogance and foolishness because they understood how sick I really was. Then slowly I began to see how wise some of these real old timers really were, and as my mind began opening I talked to more of them outside and before meetings, after meeting, and some of them were just like me some even had drug issues. I began to respect these alcoholics and I started to respect A.A. I now follow that When in A.A. i refer to myself as an Alcoholic out of respect for it's members and it's legacy and when I'm in N.A. i refer to myself as an Addict again out of respect. However as sick as I was I needed all the help I could get, If i limited myself to one Fellowship I don't know if I would have learned all that I learned, I was also able to gleam valuable recovery tools and insights from of all places such as Al-Anon. I have even visited a few other 12 step program and gotten very valuable insights and tools . Mind you for ME . I attend A.A. and N.a. with equal respect and love.
Another slogan that I really think needs to be expounded on as it can be deceiving and dangerous to the newcomer especially if your anywheres near as sick as I was. This one is "take what you need and leave the rest"- well this one let me off the hook for alot I'd hear things and say well I don't need that , that's only for those sick bastards, I'm not that bad LOL. Or it would let me off the hook on what steps I thought were necessary for ME. Then I (luckily for me) mentioned something of this nature within earshot of my Sponsor, well he let me know in no uncertain terms I was that sick probably sicker and I needed it all. This slogan only applies when someone is going on and on with a drug alog or drunk alog or about outside issues, or in the case of some really sick sharing and opinions. Otherwise take as much as possible. The things we don't want to listen to are most likely the things we need to here the most.
Remember GOD does not make garbage

The Three Essentials for Recovery continued

The Third Ingredient- Unconditional Abstinence

This is self explanatory. However being an Alcoholic and/or Drug Addict, or any other compulsion, we have a tendency not to get this or rationalize an excuse to this rule. It is really that simple We Don't Use NO MATTER WHAT. I have a very, very dear friend who puts it this way" I don't use even if my ass is falling off I'm just grateful for the weight loss." That pretty much says it all.

However as addictive personalities, especially if your new, drinking /using is what we know they are our defense mechanism our ways of coping, it is what we do. NO MORE! Now on we find other ways. Yes it's hard, yes it's uncomfortable ( because it new not to go to our old stand by) That is why you need a support system, meetings, sponsor, because alone you will likely use. These strange things like "FEELINGS' and "EMOTIONS " or going to be cropping up and hard to deal with because they have been numbed and restricted by our using that they will seem overwhelming and/or uncontrollable. However they are natural , normal and healthy. However they will be confusing and very overwhelming. However "FEELING never killed anybody, our reaction to them can cause many problems. Again when experiencing an overwhelming and/or confusing feeling we immediately seek out our support system, sponsor and/or go to a meeting. Doing one or all of these things will equip you with a whole new set of tools to deal with this issue and will be OK. Just remember We don't Drink or use NO MATTER WHAT.

One more little note on the second ingredient. The first three steps are basic life lines for early recovery.Step one says We are powerless and our lives had become unmanageable.
At some point to some degree we have perceived this ( probably Grudgingly) to be the case. this is the motivation for recovery. No one will treat a problem until they are aware of it, and in our cases usually have to be forced to acknowledge it, usually by some sort of crisis. Remember that an alcoholic and/or addict is usually the last person to see the severity of their addiction. The whole world has seen much earlier the problem and how desperately they need to change. Step one is the remedy.
Step Two says That the addictive person seek strength and hope outside himself, usually a novel and distasteful option the the addictive personality. Yet highly needed as their history proves. Step Two says Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to Sanity" We addictive personalities as a whole are prime examples of " FALSE INDEPENDENCE-- Stubborn insistence on the right to make endless numbers of bad decisions while under the influence of powerful toxins or at least without complete ability of rational thought. Step Two tells us specifically to abandon the hope of any lasting recovery without help.

The third step, Another difficult and tasteless step for addictive personalities. Now he MUST turn his will and life over to God. HOWEVER there is a very special point here that must be noted and pointed out. Step three says " Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God AS WE UNDERSTAND HIM". Now who understands God, However more to the point , It is not up for anybody to tell You who your God Is ! You need to find a Higher Power that works for You and implement it/them into your daily life.

Now if a relapse happens A sponsor or support system and/or treatment will always steer you back to these three steps. So to Avoid A relapse Because we all have a relapse in us The Deadly Question is DO YOU HAVE ANOTHER RECOVERY IN YOU? So to avoid this very painful situation to yourself and others, Work particularly hard at getting these three steps instilled in YOUR LIFE/RECOVERY.

And Always Remember GOD does not make Garbage!

DO THE STEPS OR DIE - Alcoholics Anonymous

Three Essentials for Recovery Continued

Second Ingredient "THE 12 STEPS"

This may seem redundant to put this in here considering the title of this Blog. However you'll be surprised how many people Join the Fellowship of A.A., N.A. C.A. Whatever A. you attend. Go to meetings look at the wall where the 12 steps are posted, read the 12 steps discuss the Steps even go to step meetings. They go to Alano clubs, Recovery clubs, attend recovery functions, they get a support system. They proclaim to be in the program, yet they rarely get any continuous recovery time in. This is because THEY are not doing a PROGRAM of recovery. They are in the fellowship, now don't get me wrong here there is nothing wrong with the "fellowship" of whichever 12 Step program you attend. However the fellowships are great and a recommended PART of recovery. However The Program of Recovery is NOT the Fellowship IT IS THE 12 STEPS. Any fellowship worth it's weight will continuously tell you to do the steps. Oh Yeah I know " They are only Suggestion". Well hold on now, lets remember the original concept came out (1938) the word suggestion had a much stronger connotation. How shall I put it - It's the same as saying that I suggest if your going to take a crap , you take your pants down first. Does that make it a little clearer. Here lets try to clarify it a little more. It is suggested you do the Steps if you wish to Recover from a hopeless state of mind and body, we suggest you do the steps if you want A new and better life, we suggest you do the steps if you want to be "Happy, Joyous and Free". Otherwise you can continue to live the way you have always lived. There is a saying in the Fellowships- The Definition of Insanity- is doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results. As well as " If nothing changes nothing changes".
Once Again Lets be perfectly clear Here the meeting are strongly recommended as well as the fellowship, however together or separately they are just support, The 12 STEPS are THE PROGRAM OF RECOVERY. Read how it works It tells you right there " Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as A PROGRAM OF RECOVERY."

Just to clarify a few things. Now many will say " well I did the steps and it still didn't work". Many have sat in meeting or step meeting and discussed the steps their opinions, interpretations ETC... Or the have done Steps 1-6-8-12. Lets be perfectly clear here. The Steps are numbered 1 through 12. This is how they need to be done, in sequence, they are numbered for a reason. No Skipping Steps you don't like. No Hopscotching doing the ones you think are good. Just Do step 1 Then Step 2 and so on. Secondly and possibly more important- PUT PEN TO PAPER, nowadays most 12 step fellowships have their own step guides, they are all over the place for which to use, Ask your sponsor, use your support system, BUT DO THEM.

Remember GOD does not make garbage.

Three Essentials for Recovery

We're going to back up a little in our prgress along and give you time to digest the previous assignment. Today we are going to discuss the Three (3) basic element to Successful Recovery.

FIRST INGRDIENT " A SUPPORT SYSTEM"

One of the most important element in "getting and staying" in Recovery, No Matter what you are recovering from . Is A Support System in place for YOU.. Now WHAT IS A SUPPORT SYSTEM. A support system is the foundation of your recovery, It's like building a house. How long will your house stay up and livable if the foundation is on a bad foundation? Yor recovery is the same! So what are the ingreideints for a solid support system.
1) It Needs to be readily Available- Now this doesn't mean you are the cernter of the universe and the world stops when you call. It does men you should beable to reach someone on the phone (or in person) in a reasonable amount of time(1/2-1 hour)
2) It needs to involve more than one person- for a coupls of reasons. One being people are people- we are all fallable (life happens), secondly if one person tells you something it can be that persons opinion or beliefs, however if a group of people are saying the same thing then it's more apt to be for real. Thirdly if your depending on one person's support constantly, your going to want to spread it around a little so it doesn't become a burden. especially if you begin to think your being a burden how much will you reach out for HELP, you'll probably tell yourself to do it yourself. This defeats the whole purpose of a support system. Remember I can't We Can.
3) It provides EMOTIONAL SUPPORT not FINANCIAL SUPPORT- Now this does not mean you cannot accept someone buying you a coffee or a meal or something of this nature on occcassion or even "RARE FINACIAL" assistance. However Recovery is about learning to take care of your self and taking responibility for yourself and this include "FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY". Yes eary recovery is usually a time of financial restraint. However the growth of this period is part of the whole recovery process.
4)It needs to give you HONEST feedback of your Behaviors and Atitudes.
In early recovery we can't always trust ourselves, as said befare "our heads have a contract on our asses"As well our thinking is influenced by a well developed aqnd honed "warped Defense mechanisms" developed through years of abuse.Even if your support systems feedback is wrong and it can be always check it out first. Discuss all your major decisions with them before taking action. Now for most of us in early recovery the support system we establish will be comprised mostly by those we have met in our particular 12 step fellowship. A note here is that this needs to include persons with more "recovery time" than your own, not a bad idea to have an "Oldtimer" or two in the mix.
5) Yes it can include a "Sponsor"- How do I Chood A Sponsor
CHOOSING A SPONSOR
this is a tricky one however I have a few hard and fast RULES I Strongly Recommend
A) The SAME SEX A man cannot teach a woman how to be a woman in recovery
each gender has it's own set of issues. And there's always the chance of another kind of relationship developing and thats one for a whole other posting or 10
B) Availability- Again the best sponsor in the world is no good to you if you can't reach
them or they have very little time they can devote to you.
C) They Know How to Stay "Clean and Sober" They have significant CONTINOUS recovery
time.
D) They live What They Preach- Unfortunately some people in the rooms speak real well
However they don't live it. Go out for coffe with them Visit their homes See if the actually
Prcatice what they Preach ( HIGH PRIORITY on THIS)
E) They are willing to be HONEST with you- Without a doubt this is the single most
valueable asset in a sponsor. Some one who willing lovingly tell you your being an
as@$#%le. After all A REAL FRIEND is someone who is honest with you.

Can Group theraphy and/or Theraphy- In A word NO. Theraphy of any form is TREATMENT
You may get supprot from it however it is treatment and not to be considered as part of
your support system.

Tommorrow the second ingredient
REMEMBER GOD DOES NOT MAKE GARBAGE

Surremder/ Putting your EGO in CHECK

Before we get right in to the Program. This is a must.If you want to avoid relapse and get the most out of the program and your life. This is not to make you feel bad, or to control you. It is to help you face yourself honestly, It also helps you create a beginning or opening in your psyche for open mindedness and willingness,

Let us help you along this road. I want you to get a pen and paper (might as well get used to it you'll be doing it often ) your going to write this. The main reason you write all this is vital ; It's not a social worker trying to build you up, or tear you down in their observations, It's not a parole or probation officer making it up without all the facts, It not a police officer taking notes, it not your pastor or mother trying to help you, it's YOU , and hopefully your being honest with yourself. When it's all written down you can read it over and see the TRUTH because you wrote it HONESTLY.

Now I want you to write down a brief alcohol and drug history of your using. Beginning with your first drink/drug and continue on through to today, include what you used/drank what happened what you were feeling and where it brought you.

Now I want you to write down all the promises you broke, all the lies you told to drink or use. Everybody you cheated or stole from to drink or use. All the people you heart including the most important YOU. Also I want you to write down all the times you meant to have just one or a couple, Or I''ll be right backs, and all the I'll never "do that again".

Now read it. Pretty clear . When it comes to drinking or drugging we have no real control. Can you honestly say once you pick up where you'll end up.

This is why we have to surrender and get rid of the EGO. YOUR HEAD has a contract on your ASS. This is not to say your useless or imply anything of the sort. You are GOD'S greatest creation, However when it comes to drinking or drugging. We cannot do it ALONE. HENCE SURRENDER
I CAN'T WE CAN
Remember GOD does not make garbage.