Self Supporting

Hi all, Today we are going to discuss this aspect. I know some of you are saying "but what does this have to do with staying clean and sober". And just as the pas two topics this is very integral to maintaining a clean and sober lifestyle. First off being self supporting is needed in the society we live in, it helps to improve the choices in are lives, the ability to live in a nicer community, the ability for better leisure time, the ability to have a healthier diet ETC... However the bigger aspects for you are the increase to your own self concept your own self worth and self respect which are major contributing factors in remaining clean and sober and to being relatively happy which again is one of the major contributing factor in remaining clean and sober.

Now in most cases this means getting a job and working for a living. Yea I guess alot of us wish we we born into a life of riches where there was a family fortune and could lead the life of luxury, or thyat we could retire, or win the lottery, however for the majority of us this is simply not the case.( for those of you that this is the case we will look further into that later or you can email me after rereading the post on keeping busy). Now back to those who need to work , first off it takes care of part of the earlier blog about idle time, and as already mentioned goes along way towards one's self worth and self respect.

However this then brings up a multitude of other issues. Let's begin with finances and/or budgeting, somewhat of a foriegn concept to the majority of us. oh yea we understand the concept but how experienced and accomplished are we in actuality. Actually doing the basics first like making sure the rent and/or mortgage is taken care of first before all else, then dividing what's left to take care of daily bills such as hydro, credit cards, transportation- whether by car payments, gas, insurance, etc or transit passes, taxi fares etc. cable/satelite, phone, cell phone, internet, food, all these are the normal basics plus maybe more for some, need to accounted for and taken care ( A MUST) before even considering extras such as tobacco, coffee money, movies, eating out, pizzas ETC. Do you really have a handle on this. If not this will create major stress and unhappiness leading to places we don't want to be. So these are a must to be considered and possibly adjusting your lifestyle and living arrangements to handle these issues, before it becomes a problem.

Now where do we work or find employment, first off preferably lets look at ourselves and evaluate what are we actually qualified for, secondly what do we enjoy ? what stimulates you gets you excited, have a passion for, a flair for, check into what oppotunities are there for these areas, or how and what do I need to do to become qualified to enter into these fields. I mention these strongly because lets face it if working in a position that you enjoy or at least you feel some satisfaction in doing, makjes working for a living much easier. However not all of us can get these positions. Most of us will need to take employment where it is available and sustainable. There is nothing wrong or less worthy about this. However there maybe times when we need to remember our gratitude lists, Being happy we have meaningful employment, being appreciative of the things that our paycheques allow us to do. having satisfaction of doing a job well done no matter what it may be. And knowing that you are self supporting and contributing to countless other lives just being employed and self supporting. This doesn't mean that you cannot always improve your situation.
Remember always Your are a child of the universe of GOD (whatever you choose as your God) and GOD never makes Garbage

The Life

One of the biggest downfalls to remaining clean and sober that I've witnessed is hearing newly recovering people complain about is being bored, getting anxious or what I call itchy feet. They go to work , a couple of meetings, coffe now and then, however then they start craving some kind of action. I've witnessed this over and over again, as alcoholics and/or addicts we lived in kaos and some sort of excitement and have lived in this for years, as well as the lights and action of a night life and a semblance of kaos. Even if this kaos is one of the things that got us to recovery. It is a lifestyle and part of our lives for what may seem forever, we have in some ways become kaos junkies. This is why so many early recovering people always seem to have a calamity happening or drama going on in their life's and others come to this other place where, there seems to be something missing or bored and always looking for something. this is because we haved lived in kaos for so long that we are accostumed to it. It feels strange and somewhat out of place without it. You will get over this and learn to appreciate and cherish this new found calmness in live.

However it is new and different, first we must recognize this and then combat it otherwise we face creating kaos which usually leads to relapse. We end up in situations and places where we just came from and wanted to escape. It can happen so simply and unexpectedly. So we must recognize this and take apropriate precautions.

The key is to Stay Busy. As well as hooked in with healthy people. Our sponsors and support group , let them know what's happening for you , your feelings, These feeling must remain in the light, this is where they die and others can help, in the dark , alone is where they fester and grow to defeat you.

Get involved, Do service work, spend time with sponsor and support group in activities, Physical activities are very helpful during this phase expecially sports. Volumteer for projects and activities in aspects of interest to YOU. Again keeping busy and feeling useful. It is very true here at this point that "Idle Hands are the devil's playground". The less idle time you have here during these times the better. Not to say there is anything wrong with just "chillin" once and awhile. However be aware of " Stinkin Thinkin". Stay away from old freinds, bars, places you used to hang, thinking I just looking, I can go and just have coffeee/pop. REMEMBER IF YOU RUN WITH THE WOLVES YOU WILL HOWL.
And Always Remember God does not Create Garbage

living sober

Another aspect of living sober that will stand you apart and make your sobriety more secure is the aspect of Honesty. Now I know you've already looked at honesty and are working hard at being honest. However what we are talking about is living honestly. Wnich is multi faceted, however once you can do this your chances of staying clean and sober will increase a hundred fold. The first aspect you already know about , being and speaking honestly, now that doesn't mean being mean or hurting another's feeling and blaming honesty there you can learn tact. I'm yalking about the regular stuff , like everybody cheats a little on their taxes or nobody tells the truth on surveys, the what has become "white lies" or acceptable untruths. for us this just starts a trend that we can extend as needed till we are back to our old lying ways which is back to cheating our value systems which undermines, our self worth and self condemnation. which enables us to go back to using.

Honesty is a effort in the beginning because in all reality there are whole aspects where we were not honest our whole lives. and let's face facts the society uses honesty only when iy benefits. We must make the effort after a time it will not be such an effort and the benefit are a wonderful feeling you will enjoy and all around your life will respect.

As well as living honesttly is not living in dishonest situations. You know the ones.

Living with integrity is living honestly, Not that you'll find alot of examples in our society. However you can be one. It is simply startedlet the person you are at meetings, and with your sponsor be the same person who is with the family and the same person at work, stop wearing masks or different roles, be who you honestly are, now this doesn't mean you do 5th steps at work and at the mall with strangers . It simply means be who you are with out putting on airs or pretending. Another way is Really consider everything you are asked befor agreeing, IE call me or lets go for coffeee friday or saturday can you give me ride to... Don't immediately say yes then later think of ways to get out of iy, or just blow it off, perhaps just saying i'll need to get back to you or call me later i'm not sure if i've got something planned. Make your YES Mean Yes and Your no mean No. People will respect this and you will respect yourself for this little trait. No matter whatever happens your word can never be taken from you make it worth something. Nothing will be respected more than your friends and families being able to trust you, and this they will do if they know absolutely that they can trust YOUR WORD, that when you say something they can trust it. The only way to build that trust is making sure that your yes means yes no matter what and your no mreans no no matter what.

Remember god does not make garbage