Being Self Aware

Hello my fellow recovering friends. Today I’m going to blog a little differently, and share a little more of myself today. Like I’ve been discussing in the last week or so, about being self aware. Am truly that is it is all about be aware of self, your behaviours and trends into unhealthy behaviours and habits
The other day I was trying my hand at baking. Now mind you I’ve never been much of a baker. Never really tried much. I am a pretty fair cook and have worked in kitchens, been a kitchen manager ran a cafe. So figured baking can’t really be that difficult. So I attempted to make a strawberry pie, from scratch. Well let’s just say the experiment did not turn out so well. First off attempted to make the crust with butter rather than lard. Well I just can’t get it came out not flaky, however that would have been somewhat acceptable. However the filling just didn’t make it at all. Runny and bitter, I figured didn’t need much sugar as strawberries pretty sweet, right. Well my pie was wretched. I was so upset with myself. I’m supposed to be perfect. The pie was supposed to be great. At the very least somewhat good. Well it wasn’t even edible, in my opinion. I was grouchy for almost an hour. Talk about acceptance, and turning it over.
So I get over that. Or so I thought. I get my wife a new phone for her birthday. One of these new fangled smart phones. Well actually her birthday was last week, however it took a week with negotiations with Phone Company to get a new plan as our old contract had run out. So we had to haggle with provider for a good retention plan. Finally got a good plan with extras. So went and got the phone. Well I get a little frustrated with the wife. Because she is not setting it up the way I think she should. She’s playing and discovering all the bells and whistles. I’m telling her she needs to read the manual and then get the apts from the computer. And she’s just enjoying it and playing. Well I’m getting frustrated because don’t you know she should be doing it my way. I decide to go have a cigarette, well that gives me time to look at my behaviour. I realize that I haven’t completely let go of my pie failure the previous night. So I need to be right about the phone now. Instead of just letting her enjoy her present her way, after all it is for her. How childish of me. So I had to laugh at myself, go back in and apologize to my patient lovely wife, and just let her enjoy her present her way. Sometimes the committee can make me very childish. Must constantly work at being self aware.
Remember God does not create garbage

The Deadliest Battle

Yes the hardest battle. That is the one that a person with an addictive personality, or actually all people Have. And that is the one has inside oneself. The one where you argue with yourself, you know the committee. The one that tells you. That it is okay to have just one. Or the thought that you can get away with it, this one time. Whether it be using, drinking, stealing, cheating ETC... You know those secret battles we have with ourselves. No matter how much time you have. Whenever things get a little tight, stressed or a little great even. It’s that committee always in the background. For us in recovery, that is where the relapse starts. If we succumb to those thoughts, then they just snowball> It may not even be immediate it may lie in wait for days, months even years. That’s what we talk about when we say our disease is always waiting. It’s out there in the parking lot right now doing push-ups. Just staying in shape, so if and when I open the door and give it a chance it cam pounce in full strength, to take me down. That is why we must be ever vigilant. I never want to put my friends and family through the hell that I am capable of dragging them when I’m actively drinking/using. Or myself for that matter
Remember God does not create garbage.

Veterans Day// Rememberance Day

Oh yes the day of remembering. Our Forefathers who put their lives on the line for our way of life. It has come to the time when there are not many left who remember those days. Yet we must honour those who died, were injured and the lucky ones who made it home. As recovering alcoholics/Addicts there is even more that we should take time to look back and be grateful. Like Those back before the program. The town drunks, the Addicts who were despised all those that were committed to asylums. And those that didn’t make it to the rooms and died horrible lonely deaths. All the ones that refused to do the work, or those who just didn’t get it. All the ones who went back out and died horrible lonely deaths. All the families, friends that had to watch as their friends and loved ones succumb to the pains and debauchery of alcoholism and addiction. All the ones on the street today tormented the families and friends suffering today. All the lost souls in the streets today. But for the grace of God. There go I. We have a lot to be remembering and to be thankful for. Today we are the lucky ones. Today we are the blessed.
Remember God does not make garbage

Being Real

What exactly does being real mean? That is an excellent question. First off to be real, one must truly know themselves. And to be totally honest how many of us really know who we are? We have an idea of who we think we are. We have gotten a glimpse at ourselves from our step work. We have a perception of what we think we are supposed to be. We have a perception of what are roles in life are and we let them sometimes define us. Many of us are guilty of talking one life, yet living another. Then we blame it on – well I have to work, or I have to keep my job, I have to feed my family, this is real life. And so on and so on. However the truth is we are what we are. Do we really know and accept that or do we still blame the way we are on society, the need to support our families ETC... I mean you know things about you. However can you define who you are as a person? Another part of this is truly knowing your own personal value system. We all have one. Most of us know what values are and we usually say that family, honesty, integrity, sense of self, charitable, are the ones that are usually on the top of the list. However when hard times and hard situations happen. What do we do?? These are the true values. Sometimes you have a person that says family is number one, yet the when times are hard or slightly stressed and you need to work late all week and miss seeing the kids or going to family functions. We excuse it with well I have to financially take care of my family. When probably the money made was for extras that we wanted in our lives. Rather than just put food in the fridge and a roof overhead. So what is the true value? Another obstacle to being real IMAGE> especially in today’s culture. How would it look? Rather than being true to you, we are more concerned in what others would say. We always say beauty is on the inside and that’s what counts. Yet how many of us really live this. We are too concerned on how we look, the clothes we wear, the toys we have.
Just something to ponder.
How real are you?
Remember God does not make Garbage

Powerless ????

Today I am Not Powerless! If I take that first drink or drug, I will again become powerless. However I have done what The 12 step program has laid out for me to do> I have done the 12 step program and continue to follow the program and the steps. Therefore I am no longer powerless, and neither are YOU. If you have followed the program, done the 12 steps, continue to follow the principles and steps. You are and I are both empowered to achieve the unimaginable. You are fully empowered to achieve anything. As long as you follow the principles, do what’s right and what is right in front of you. You can achieve anything you can imagine and even that which you can’t imagine. As long as it is God’s will. For your God will give you all the strength and power you require to achieve anything. This does not mean that it will not be difficult. Or that there will not be trials, tribulations and obstacles. However if you are following the principles, doing what is right, having faith and doing God’s will he will give you the strength, power and anything needed to accomplish his will. So align your will with that of the God of your understanding. And anything will be achieved.
Remember God does not create garbage

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