Let Go and Let God

The Spirituality of Surrender
By John P. Mossi

Losing, whether it is losing a friendly bet, an important argument, or a business contract, is a difficult to swallow. We detest losing. The same is true for any diehard sports fan who endures a hometown rout. We walk away replaying the game, blaming the unfair referees , or creating strategies that “would have” favorably altered the score.

When the defeat entails greater stakes, there is higher resistance to a surrender. To address a serious problem like addiction is personally painful. Implicit in such reality is a pervasive sense of failure. One has lost control over life’s direction. The only way to regain control is to surrender what has not worked and seek a new way. This process is replete with difficulty.

This article will examine the spirituality of surrender as a means of coming home to God (1). Surrendering to God will be looked at in three ways. The first involves an understanding of how surrender is operative in twelve-step recovery programs like Alcoholics Anonymous. The second involves a look at the life of Ignatius of Loyola and the surrender components of the final prayer of the Spiritual Exercises, the “Suscipe,” or “Take and Receive.” The third considers Jesus’ act of surrender on the cross in Luke 23:46. Each of these three different “ways” of surrendering involves putting our ultimate identity and confidence in God.

LET GO, LET GOD

At Alcoholics Anonymous meetings or twelve-step recovery retreats, the expression “Let go, let God” is often used. These four important words constitute the core spirituality of A.A. and similar recovery programs that have adapted the twelve steps to their particular addiction. “Let go, let God” is an invitation to surrender one’s unmanageable life to God.

“Let go, let God” is a gentle conversion reminder, a kind of mantra, which assists us both to admit the addiction and to hand it over along with its various forms of compulsions to God. The long form of the prayer would be something like “Let go of alcohol (or whatever the specific substance or non substance addiction might be) and let the hand and grace of God guide my life.”

The prayer is not magic. Saying “Let go, let God” does not instantaneously bring about recovery. Its first purpose is to assist the recovering addict to keep the daily partnership task of surrendering the addiction to God. The second purpose of “Let go, let God” is to be a prayer of liberation, to call on the greater power of God to help one escape from destructive lifestyle patterns. In this way the creative resources of the individual and the action of God are focused on together. The prayer also serves to silence those addiction-related inner-committee tapes and voices of doubt, loneliness, fear, and caustic shame that can interfere with a person’s slow recovery. These, too, need to be handed over to God.

I have the greatest admiration for all who enter the surrender process of a twelve-step program. For many, it is the difference between death and life, the difference between barely existing as a human and participating in community, between dysfunctionalism and experiencing the serenity that only God gives with amazing grace.

The first three steps of Anonymous programs set up this “Let go let God” dynamic. The language of the twelve steps is straightforward and simple. This is part of their wisdom and wide appeal. The steps make sense to a lot of people. Since A.A. began in 1935 at Akron, Ohio, Anonymous recovery programs have multiplied to treat various forms of addiction (2). These include Narcotics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, Emotions Anonymous, Workaholics Anonymous, Sexaholics Anonymous, Al-Anon, and Adult Children of Alcoholics.

Let us examine these first three steps.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol (or the other specific addiction) - that our lives had become unmanageable (3).

The first step is crucial. You admit you have a serious problem. There is no denial of the fact. The blunt reality is your life is out of control, in fact, unmanageable. Furthermore, you are powerless to do anything about it.

At Anonymous meetings, this first step is handled in an up front manner. When members speak, they state their first name and their addictiveness: “I’m John. I’m an alcoholic.” “I’m Susan. I’m a recovering overeater.” In formal religion we might refer to this acknowledgment as group confession. In recovery programs it is simply admitting what can no longer be denied. Step one is an honest, vulnerable beginning place. Owning and naming the unmanageable addiction is essential to the surrendering process. When one is aware of a specific uncontrollable disease, one can effectively pray “Let go.”

But to whom does one surrender? Steps two and three look at the second part of the mantra: “Let God.” God is the significant associate in restoring harmony. To appreciate the spirituality of the twelve steps, it is important to reflect that the existence and action of God are mentioned seven times in the twelve steps. The particular addiction is only mentioned once, and that is in the first step. The activity of surrendering one’s addiction and life to God becomes the spirituality cornerstone of the remaining steps.

2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity (4).

Step two admits the need of an outside corrective authority, a Higher Power, to bring about a stability in one’s life. This is the first glimpse of light that invites God in as the restorer of sanity.

There are two other important spirituality elements operative in the second step: 1. The belief that a Higher Wisdom exists and, 2. a disposition of humility on the part of the believer. These two qualities counter culturally work against the arrogance of the ego that craves to cling to the addiction. Step two indicates that the recovery process entails an attentive listening to a new Teacher, which means that the addict has to take on the attitude of learner. There is a major shift in trust: from addiction to God.

3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him (5).

Step three is where the capitulation actually occurs. First, a concrete decision to surrender has to be made. Second, this decision is total. It includes the will making conscious choices, and it affects one’s entire being and journey. Third, the whole person is placed in the care of God according to the individual faith background.

The spirituality of “Let go, let God” is a conversion process. Conversion of its nature has two basic movements: the surrendering of the compulsion, shame, and destructive addictive patterns which reduce freedom; the turning to the care of God and the Holy Spirit to be one’s permanent resources of wisdom and identity.

Matthew 11:28-30 speaks of a “letting go, letting God” process: “Come to me, all you who labor and are overburdened, and I will give you rest. Shoulder my yoke and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Yes, my yoke is easy and my burden light” (6). These three verses contain the confirmation signs that accompany a true surrender. A learning will occur, the process will be gentle and humble. Rest will be experienced. A new relationship arises, a companionship with the Master, which will be non addictive, easy, and light.

The Surrender of Ignatius of Loyola

Another way of surrendering one’s life to God comes from the spirituality of Ignatius’s surrender as expressed in his prayer the “Suscipe,” or “Take and Receive.” On his pilgrim journey Ignatius was called to surrender on several notable occasions. The first was during the defense of the city of Pamplona, Spain. In 1521 Ignatius, wounded by cannon shrapnel, reviewed the illusions of his life as sober death approached. But he did not die. His long convalescence became a conversion process. He gradually yielded up his stubborn self-preoccupation, bravado, and ambition and began to discover a new self in God (7).

The spirituality record of Ignatius’s surrender to God is found in his classic work, the Spiritual Exercises. Today, 450 years after its first published edition, it is still considered a significant theological work noted for its integration of Scripture, guidelines for discernment, sense of mission, and themes of justice. The Exercises’ developmental stages of growth in discipleship and intimacy enable a person to come home to God.

The last prayer of the Exercises is called the “Suscipe” or “Take and Receive.” I invite you to spend some time contemplating the components of the prayer. What is Ignatius, the once vain soldier-at-arms, now a mystic, asking us to do?

Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will - all that I have and call my own. You have given it all to me. To you, Lord, I return it. Everything is yours; do with it what you will. Give me only your love and your grace. That is enough for me (8).

The “Suscipe” is a deceptively profound prayer. It invites us to acknowledge the primacy of God in our totality; it answers the humbling question What aspect of our being is not a gift of God?” In the light of this answer, Ignatius invites us to surrender all to God. The last part of the prayer is a seeking of the purer gifts: “Give me only your love and grace. That is enough for me.” Ignatius does not compromise in the process of “letting go of self and letting God in.”

I recall a forceful experience in praying the “Suscipe.” It happened fifteen years ago during a retreat. I attempted to pray and could not. I realized I had not surrendered anything, certainly not my liberty, memory, understanding, and will to anyone, much less to God. I told my director that I could not pray this prayer at all. As a consequence, I seriously questioned remaining a Jesuit. The director gave me sage advice. He invited me to return to the chapel and pray the “Suscipe” with my own words in my own way.

I prayed, “Lord, I give you my sins which I know so well; those many areas of my life where I am not obedient, poor, and chaste. I give you my pride, my negativity, my hatred and vindictiveness, my compulsive rebellion and addictiveness to self. I am overtly familiar with these dark recesses. And I truly need to surrender these to you. Send forth your Holy Spirit to guide, anoint, and heal with a love that I am most in need of, your grace.”

Like an ambush, the opportunity to surrender can appear at unlikely moments. Do not let the occasion pass by. The benefit of letting God in always outweighs whatever is surrendered.

Jesus on the Cross

We turn to the spirituality of Jesus and the particular way he has taught us to surrender. He, too, had to face a special moment of surrender. His prayer in Luke 23:46 is a powerful expression of letting go: “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit” (9). Here on the cross Jesus is still the master teacher. He models for us how to pray and hand over our daily experiences and our life to God. Notice the key elements: (1) The prayer is addressed to the Father; (2) Jesus urges us to surrender, to commend, to let go; (3) Jesus specifies what is to be handed over. He gives what little is left, his spirit and last breath.

In the daily minor or major surrenders of our own pilgrimage, we can pray in the spirituality of either the twelve steps, Ignatius, or Jesus. Specify in the “Let go, let God” mantra and the “Suscipe” whatever needs are to be named and yielded: “Let go of addiction and manipulation. Let God in.” “Take, Lord, my dishonesty, my hurts, my doubts and sinfulness.” God can handle and work with these blighted areas quite well.

Adapt the prayer of Jesus to your immediate concerns: “Father, into your hands I commit my grief, my sense of failure, my disappointment, my pettiness and vulnerability….”Commend these regions of brokenness to the higher compassion and understanding of God.

It is clear that not only our joys but also our sorrows must be offered to God. Our ability to be powerless allows God to meet us and tenderly heal us on our journey, embracing us as we truly are. Moreover, the art of surrendering involves a lifelong process. Some days we succeed better than others. If we postpone learning the spirituality of surrender, we will face it unprepared at death, when the surrender is sudden. Perhaps we can learn to surrender to the care, to the heart, of God in advance

Smell the roses or is it Pine

How is everybody today? Good. I hope. You know I have a dear friend and that question, is her pet peeve. Did you ever notice how often we are greeted by this comment, as a way of greeting? Most people ask expecting a one word or short sentence answer. Most people if you really expound on the answer are stopped in their tracks, they weren’t really expecting a real answer. This is what her issue was with this kind of greeting. Don’t ask if you really do not want to hear the answer, especially if you do not have the time to sit down and really hear and possibly discuss the answer. Well when I heard her say this I had to think about it. You know the more I thought about the more I began to see her point. Even that she was not in a good mood when she told me this she had a few issues cropping up in her life at the time. To say this or use it as a greeting, and not being prepared to spend the time and the effort to here a truthful and expanded answer. All I was doing was doing an old behaviour; I’m feigning interest in that particular person. I’m not being real or genuine.

Anyways I spent a lot of the day digging out Christmas decorations, and putting up the tree, the outside lights, and a few trimmings and lights on the tree. I didn’t put on the ornaments and the nativity scene though as I save that for us to do as a family. However our outside lights have a music box with them that plays a couple of carols with them. As I was sitting having a cigarette and coffee (admiring my work) outside listening to the Christmas music. I got one of those nice contented—“everything is good in my world” feelings you know just feeling happy contented and at peace. It just reminded me, that no matter what is going on in your life. That just sitting back, occasionally and taking a break from life to smell the roses and be grateful for what is in your life. Can be quite refreshing and beneficial to the soul.
Remember God does not create garbage

Everybody Deserve a Chance or Two or more

You Know sometimes in our recovery, or at least mine there are times when my mind becomes shut again. In some things I lose that open mind, which is so valuable and needed in continuous growth. After some clean and sober time, you learn things, you know things. However I always have to remember that there is always more to be learned, and that my learning is not the be all and know all of a given topic. Case in point, while I was pondering on what I was going to write for today’s blog, I was researching my upcoming Recovery coach business and I wandered upon an article/blog from a fellow recovery coach. She was going on about don’t waste her time with BS, that she was only interested in serious clients and that was that. That was the basic idea of the blog, I found myself agreeing and thinking of adding to my other site those ideas, in the form of something like only serious enquiries; don’t waste your money, your time, My time when I can be helping someone who really wants it. I was really brainstorming with this, and was starting to edit another site of mine for recovery experts. As I was thinking of how to write something along these lines for this site. I was remembering how God introduced me to recovery.

Once again God was teaching me. This time on how easy it is to become opinionated, close minded and heartless. All while attempting to be giving and caring, because that is why I do all this. How FREAKIN ARROGANT of me to deny the idea of recovery to anyone, or decide who is allowed to recover or receive what I may have to give. Sometimes we are not in the business of recovery, per se, sometimes we are in the business of seed planting!
Here I reflect on my own humble beginnings in recovery. I was first introduced to A.A. in 1985 or so. Back while I was in prison. I really don’t remember much of anything or even what A.A. really was. All I knew was it got me out of my cell got me seeing other people sometimes even women; there was free coffee and donuts. There were a few of my cronies as we’d sit in the back ogle the women, talk trash and scarf down donuts and coffee. I was told they’d give me a letter or something for my file for the parole board. It would look good and the parole board always liked this stuff when deciding if they would give you parole. That and the old blue signs {the 12 steps and the 12 traditions (not the white ones they have now)} at the front is all I really remember. Even though I really didn’t hear the message consciously. However sub consciously I like to think the seed was planted. I believe it made it easier when I finally did get here. Then even when I did get here, through no genius of my own. I only Got here looking for “three hots and a cot”. One of the reasons I’m glad they took the honest desire part out and replaced with a desire. For when I got here, I only had a desire for three hots and a cot. That and perhaps better luck and/or an even break.
Then even after the fog starting to lift, and I started to hear the message, and I started getting it. I went out and relapsed. So yes everybody deserves a chance, sometimes more than one.
Remember God does not create garbage

Easy Does It But DO IT

Yes this is my personal mesh of 12 step philosophy mixed with the Nike logo. I do this because I believe in Easy Does It, however I seen this philosophy used as an excuse for procrastination “I’ll get around to it” to avoidance to downright ignoring it. There is a lot to be said for Easy Does It, there is no point doing something and rushing through just to do a half assed job and screwing it up or even making it worse. There is nothing wrong to putting something off till you can give it the proper attention required. However putting something off because it is uncomfortable, or hard. Saying I’ll get around to it, or avoidance is just plain bullshit. Just Do It, Get it over with and more than likely the fear of it was nothing more than the workings of your mind. Many times I have had to face something that seemed large and insurmountable. The challenge appeared to be like attempting to jump the Grand Canyon on a 10 speed only to look back after and seeing it was nothing more than a puddle. A dragon that was nothing more than a rabbit.
It’s like a lot of the stuff I’ve posted here. You are never going to accomplish getting it all overnight it is a process. However nothing will ever be accomplished without taking the first step and as equally important continuously putting one foot after the other day after day. Establish a regular daily routine for yourself. Time is the great equalizer. I don’t know about you, but I was out there using and abusing, lying and cheating for 20 years. That mindset, behaviours and life doesn’t change overnight. The old-timers used to tell me it’ll take 5 years to get my head out of my asse, and another 5 to get the ring off my neck. I didn’t believe them when they told me this. They just weren’t as smart as I was. They didn’t have the resources I did. After 5 years I understood again at 10 years I had a better understanding. In 25 days I’ll be celebrating 18 years Clean and Sober. I’ve learned a lot in that time, one of the things I’ve learned is I still have so much to learn. Even with all I have learned I still have not mastered it all. It’s not what you know in your head as a theory, It’s what you live on a day to day basis.
The Journey does not end. It just gets more exciting. Because it’s all about the journey and how you experience it. The destination is mute.

The 12 step Program is not something you work into your life A bit at a time, or what is comfortable. It is not something you practise when you have the time. It is something you submerse yourself in. It is a way of life. A total way of living, of dealing with life. It is a way of living that will make sense of this insane world we live in, and allow you to be Happy Joyous and Free beyond your imaginings. You are worth it. This is your ticket to Ride in Happiness.
Remember God does not create garbage

Daily Meditation

Meditation as I talked about before is essential in having a conscious contact with your higher power. Meditation is good for the soul. I’ve expounded on this is where we listen to God. However I really want to speak of another benefit, almost as important.
What I want to talk about now, is the benefit meditation has on our mental health and balance. I’m speaking of the brain and our thinking now. The brain and it many wonders. Namely the faculty of thinking, for creativity, visualization, reasoning and the list is quite extensive. However the brain is like the most efficient and brilliant computer ever devised. It is truly a wondrous gift from our God. It is a wonderful, if not the most precious tool our God has bestowed upon us. However it is just that; a TOOL. The point being is do you control your thinking or does your thinking control you. We all have those times when our minds just don’t seem to stop, going from one thought to another. Keeping us awake, not letting us focus. How many times have your actions been controlled by irrational thinking? For most of us, it has never even donned on us that the functions of our brains, such as thinking needs to be trained and disciplined. First off our brains and thinking patterns have been seriously distorted and damaged from abuses and lack of discipline, not to mention the damage done by alcohol and drugs. Developing a daily routine of meditation, at least once a day; can help bring your thinking more under control and disciplined. A daily routine will help you to get more focused, clear your thinking. As you become more at ease and adept at meditation, it will in still clarity and instils greater discipline and direction. You can also use meditation to quite the unquiet mind, when it is racing. When it seems that your thoughts are scrambled. A few quite moments in meditation will get your thinking under your control, rather than your random thoughts controlling you.
Remember God does not create garbage

Trudging the road of happy destiny????

Trudging the road is just part of life. Without the rain would we appreciate the sun? Another one of those nice and fluffy clichés. You know what I say about clichés. However when you’re in the midst of trudging the last thing you want to hear is clichés. I know I’ve done my share of trudging. As a matter of fact I am currently trudging. I’ve been looking for new employment for almost 5 months now and not finding anything financially suitable. Living hand to mouth, building up a larger and larger debt load. Been fighting worrying about it. However I know this too shall pass (another lovely cliché). We all run into hard times. Times when it seems that the whole world is against us, or at least it feels that way. Times when it seems we just can’t catch a break. Times when it seems that our God has forsaken us. It’s in these times when we believe as a whole we’ve been doing the right things and living a principled life. That the committee really works hard. The short cuts seem so appealing. The justifications are all there. However it is in these times when we must be ever vigilant. We must pray more; spend more time with loved ones that support us. We must give of ourselves more. Do more meetings, talk to our support group and sponsor more often. Even though at these times we’d rather not. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, doing what is right and what is right in front of us. I know that things are really not as bad as I sometimes feel they are. In all reality it’s just not where I want to be. I know that my God will take care of me and your God will take care of you for in fact even if we perceive God differently it is the same God. I also know for history has taught me this is not the first hard time we’ve faced and more than likely not the last. And just like the last time it will pass we will have learned something and be stronger for it. The sun will shine brighter, happiness and joy will be renewed. For our God did not bring us this far just to forget us. Have Faith
Remember God does not create Garbage

Trudging the Road

Shame and Guilt

I once had a counsellor whose motto was “screw guilt”. Shame and guilt are nothing more than gifts from God. Close your mouth and don’t look so baffled. They are part of the conscience. Shame and guilt are nothing more than an indication of something being amiss. They are there to tell you in no uncertain terms that you have violated your own values, moral code, and your own sense of what is right and wrong. It is telling you that you need to take action. Nothing more. If you have been experiencing guilt and shame for a few days, a week or even a month. It is your own value system telling you to step up to the plate and take action. If it has been longer than this than you have either not properly gone through the steps as outlined earlier. If you have and are still experiencing shame and guilt then you are having issues with ego in reverse. Yes ego in reverse, part of the ego saying” I am so terrible, nobody else has been as rotten as me” EGO. That and still a bit of a God complex, for if God forgives you (and make no mistake God does- for that is what God is and God does. God is love, and Love forgives) who are you not to forgive yourself if God does. For that matter who are you not to forgive anyone if God does. So if you are done playing God.
Time for the action. The action is quite simple. Name it Claim it. To do this two steps are required. First- Confession is good for the soul, also mental health and well being. This doesn’t mean you have to become catholic and go to confession with a priest. It means that shame and guilt will grow and fester like a cancer if not brought out into the light of day. You need to confide in your sponsor and your personal support group (the peers you’ve culled that accept you for you) A few close friends. Secondly you need to make amends, apologize and then do whatever it takes to make it right. That’s it, pretty simple, not necessarily easy, yet simple all the same. After that the shame and guilt will gradually diffuse. If shame and guilt persist then you perhaps require a little more discourse on the subject. And check that you took appropriate action rather than skimping (minimizing).
Remember God does not create garbage