First off, I wish to apologize for the delay in this posting, as my internet was down. I am writing this and hoping to post as soon as my service is restored. Well now that I’ve explained the delay, let’s proceed with the continuation of this segment.
In this day and age we are bombarded in our society with seemingly endless pursuits, we juggle goals of home, office, health, sexuality, travel, peace of mind, spirituality, love, style and the list goes on and on. Is it any wonder that some of these never seem to end or get where we wish they were and that in all this we rarely find happiness and if we happen to it is only fleeting. Juggling all these concerns/goals only deflect, confuse and create inner conflict. Wouldn’t it be great if we could just concentrate on one such goal that would potentially let others simply fall into place and some even not be a concern at all. If this could be, would it not be so much easier. To have such singleness of purpose. Well there is one that if you make it your singleness of purpose most of the others will fall into place and others on your list would be of no concern. This single goal is Peace of Mind, for without peace of mind what can you really have.
Now that we have decided to make Peace of Mind our sole goal or singleness of purpose, our primary function becomes forgiveness. To forgive is to let go, this is the means of realigning our distorted perceptions as well as the vehicle for letting go of our fears. As such we must understand that we forgive for ourselves not for others, it is in forgiving that we are healed. Forgiveness does not mean that we condone the behaviour, we just let go .
The first step in this rededication to ourselves through our single goal of peace of mind is to establish that goal we must see ourselves first and foremost, not in selfishness but as self-fullness or perhaps more aptly as self-first, for how can I be of any help to anyone if I am incapable of helping myself. Once we establish and embrace this concept, we then move on to forgiveness.
Many of us have been thwarted in similar attempts, usually because we had as the first step loving others. Yet with distorted perceptions, past values and experiences many people just plainly seemed unlovable. When in reality it was our distorted perceptions that made them appear unlovable. Instead of seeing their behaviour as a result of deeply held pain, deeply held fears, lack of love and/or distress of some sort. However if we see peace of mind as initial step and forgiveness as the second step then with this new perception it then becomes easier for us to give total love and acceptance to others, thus creating peace of mind. Always remembering other people do not have to change for us to have peace of mind.
To be continued;
Remember God does not create garbage
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Love is Letting Go of Fear>>> continued
Hello all, and now to continue where we left off yesterday. We all, to a degree create our own distortions of seeing, hearing and experiencing love within ourselves and others. This self created distortion is our way of retaining an old belief system, even though it does not produce what we truly want. It is more so intact, because it is what we know, and has become entrenched in our thinking.
Let us look at how our mind has worked. It can be said that the mind works as an old movie projector; as such it holds thousand of reels of past experiences. Now depending on the triggers and the circumstances, these images (past experiences) get superimposed over people and events happening in the present. Thus we never truly experience the present and those in it as it is, we perceive it through tons of old memories that we layer over the actual present. To truly experience the present. We must consciously wipe away all that is past from what we are experiencing except love. This requires willingness and courage, to let go of past attachments of guilt, shame and fear.
It also requires a determined effort to stay in the now. We seem to put more effort into predicting and controlling the future and the present than in to experiencing “Peace of Mind”. We are stuck in a pattern of predicting the pain that will happen, and take pleasure in our prediction, as opposed to finding true happiness in the moment. We do this as a means of protecting self and remaining safe. Thus creating a short circuit that confuses pleasure with pain. It is an insane way of protecting ourselves, which really has kept us from true happiness.
This mindset produces the belief that the fears of the past can accurately predict the fears of the future. Producing a mindset spent mostly in the worries of the past or in the worries of tomorrow, leaving little or no room for enjoyment of Love and Joy in the present.
However thanks to the gift of freewill, we can essentially create our own reality. With this we can choose to see the truth. We can experience love as the truth of our reality. We have to refuse to be limited by the fears of the past and/or future, or by possible “realities” that have adopted from society. We make a conscious effort to live in the only true reality there is, the now.
Seeing that are minds are limitless and without boundaries, in fact the only limits on our minds is the ones we place on them. When we choose value on a past fear we limit our mind to seeing a fearful past as a reality. Thus limiting the actual reality and further limiting our minds as perceiving the future with fear. This incapacitates the ability to pause and experience the present in peace and contentment. When we use words such as “can’t, impossible,” we impose the limits of a fearful past upon ourselves, as such we self impose limits on our futures and possibilities.
To be continued
Remember God does not create garbage
Let us look at how our mind has worked. It can be said that the mind works as an old movie projector; as such it holds thousand of reels of past experiences. Now depending on the triggers and the circumstances, these images (past experiences) get superimposed over people and events happening in the present. Thus we never truly experience the present and those in it as it is, we perceive it through tons of old memories that we layer over the actual present. To truly experience the present. We must consciously wipe away all that is past from what we are experiencing except love. This requires willingness and courage, to let go of past attachments of guilt, shame and fear.
It also requires a determined effort to stay in the now. We seem to put more effort into predicting and controlling the future and the present than in to experiencing “Peace of Mind”. We are stuck in a pattern of predicting the pain that will happen, and take pleasure in our prediction, as opposed to finding true happiness in the moment. We do this as a means of protecting self and remaining safe. Thus creating a short circuit that confuses pleasure with pain. It is an insane way of protecting ourselves, which really has kept us from true happiness.
This mindset produces the belief that the fears of the past can accurately predict the fears of the future. Producing a mindset spent mostly in the worries of the past or in the worries of tomorrow, leaving little or no room for enjoyment of Love and Joy in the present.
However thanks to the gift of freewill, we can essentially create our own reality. With this we can choose to see the truth. We can experience love as the truth of our reality. We have to refuse to be limited by the fears of the past and/or future, or by possible “realities” that have adopted from society. We make a conscious effort to live in the only true reality there is, the now.
Seeing that are minds are limitless and without boundaries, in fact the only limits on our minds is the ones we place on them. When we choose value on a past fear we limit our mind to seeing a fearful past as a reality. Thus limiting the actual reality and further limiting our minds as perceiving the future with fear. This incapacitates the ability to pause and experience the present in peace and contentment. When we use words such as “can’t, impossible,” we impose the limits of a fearful past upon ourselves, as such we self impose limits on our futures and possibilities.
To be continued
Remember God does not create garbage
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Love is Letting Go of Fear --continued
Hi, yesterday we were talking about how fear controls our lives. I have titled this segment “Love is Letting Go of Fear” in respect to Gerald Jamploski, and his book of the same name. I read this book in the first year or perhaps it was in my second year of being clean and sober: This book changed my life, I have since reread it a number of times. The book is based on principles found in “The Course of Miracles”, another great read, yet long and involved. Love is Letting Go of Fear is a simple easy to read amazing life changing book. I will attempt to install a few of its precepts in the coming blogs, including today’s.
Most of us just want to be happy; one of the main keys to happiness is to being able to tell what is real. Once we know reality from fantasy and that which is unreal, we have a great basis to work towards being happy. This sounds simple, yet yesterday we have already acknowledged that fear can and does distort our perceptions. That coupled with our histories in which we basically lived in worlds based on fantasies, tells us that our perceptions have been severely challenged. So before making assumptions on our perceptions perhaps we should look at this a little closer. After all we do not want to be guilty of “contempt before investigation” now do we?
Many of us are confused about “What is Real”; we essentially rely on our physical senses to tell us what is and what is not real. We reinforce this perception, by looking towards our society and how it defines “normal” and healthy, therefore real.
Now let us look at Love. And by love I mean the essence of love, being a person of love, real love not Eros or puppy love but the true essence of love that of love of all things and people. The kind of person that is a being of love is Charitable, humble, caring, forgiving, helpful, and giving. Not only to family and friends but to all they meet. Something that really has no beginning and no end, that is immeasurable. Now where, does this fit into our scheme of discerning what is real. Would not our lives be more meaningful and joyful if measured by something that is eternal, such as the essence of love? Rather than the way we have been judging what is real. Compared to love everything else is transitory and finite, therefore I put forth is truly meaningless.
Fear distorts our perception and confuses us as to what is really happening. True Love is the absence of fear. It ask no questions, has no demands. It is acceptance, extension and expansion, not compassion and measurement. Love has value and fear is has no value. Love is what we all want, yet we are afraid of it in the same breath usually not even consciously, we are blind and deaf to love’s presence, for it is not a physical entity, yet a real entity all the same. As we work towards making love our reality, health, wholeness and inner peace can begin to take hold. To be continued
Remember God does not create garbage
Most of us just want to be happy; one of the main keys to happiness is to being able to tell what is real. Once we know reality from fantasy and that which is unreal, we have a great basis to work towards being happy. This sounds simple, yet yesterday we have already acknowledged that fear can and does distort our perceptions. That coupled with our histories in which we basically lived in worlds based on fantasies, tells us that our perceptions have been severely challenged. So before making assumptions on our perceptions perhaps we should look at this a little closer. After all we do not want to be guilty of “contempt before investigation” now do we?
Many of us are confused about “What is Real”; we essentially rely on our physical senses to tell us what is and what is not real. We reinforce this perception, by looking towards our society and how it defines “normal” and healthy, therefore real.
Now let us look at Love. And by love I mean the essence of love, being a person of love, real love not Eros or puppy love but the true essence of love that of love of all things and people. The kind of person that is a being of love is Charitable, humble, caring, forgiving, helpful, and giving. Not only to family and friends but to all they meet. Something that really has no beginning and no end, that is immeasurable. Now where, does this fit into our scheme of discerning what is real. Would not our lives be more meaningful and joyful if measured by something that is eternal, such as the essence of love? Rather than the way we have been judging what is real. Compared to love everything else is transitory and finite, therefore I put forth is truly meaningless.
Fear distorts our perception and confuses us as to what is really happening. True Love is the absence of fear. It ask no questions, has no demands. It is acceptance, extension and expansion, not compassion and measurement. Love has value and fear is has no value. Love is what we all want, yet we are afraid of it in the same breath usually not even consciously, we are blind and deaf to love’s presence, for it is not a physical entity, yet a real entity all the same. As we work towards making love our reality, health, wholeness and inner peace can begin to take hold. To be continued
Remember God does not create garbage
Love is Letting Go of Fear
FEAR, it controls all of our decisions, it is all prevailing, it is destructive and nonconductive to happiness. Yet even though in recovery we have faced a lot of our fears, most are still rooted in our personalities and in everything we do. Mostly subtly and unnoticed, as such untreated. However in the same note we must note here that yes there is healthy fears, however they are basics for life when doing something such as walking a ledge at a considerable height, being far from the beach in deep water, fire, ETC... some might call these just common sense, however I’ve learned that what one person thinks common sense is another does not necessarily think along the same lines, so I’ve come to believe that the term we refer to as “common sense” is really not at all common, everybody has their own definition of “common sense. However for the sake of argument we are going to call the basic fears for safety and life as common sense fears. So except for the common sense fears, fear is a destructive and life debilitating entity. It distorts reality and in general just creates lies and deception in our thinking. The biggest thing is that fear is mostly just illusion.
Fear, F.E.A.R Fck everything and run, that is what the general population does when confronted with it; False evidence appearing real, is what over 90% of it is. I believe it was Winston Churchill who said it best” The only thing to fear is fear itself.” Let’s look at few of the fears that pervade the general population; the fear of not being loved, the fear of not fitting in, the fear of being alone, the fear of being hurt, the fear of not enough money, and the fear of not belonging. These are but a few of the root fears which branch off to many others, that stifle the souls need for creativity, understanding, growth, development of the soul, the personality and the essence of humanity, most of all the strangling of diversity, compassion, freedom of expression, and true love in its highest form, and lastly true happiness. The saddest part of this is it is reinforced by the society in which we live. Think about how a person is cast if they dare to think differently than his peers or the community, how are they shunned and looked upon, how many times have you thought something somewhat different and kept to yourself, how many times have you thought about doing something a little or a lot differently in style, speech, acting having fun, ETC... yet kept it to yourself out of fear of humiliation, laughed at EYC, how many times have you seen a person act indifferently or aloof, perhaps even cold or unpleasant just to keep others away. The list goes on and on. You know you have a few of these and more. Why out of fear. If these are kept hidden and/or changed your behaviour to protect oneself. How are you experiencing the true human experience in all its glory and wonderment? How is your soul and heart being fulfilled? Most importantly how can you experience true happiness? To be continued.
Remember God does not create garbage
Fear, F.E.A.R Fck everything and run, that is what the general population does when confronted with it; False evidence appearing real, is what over 90% of it is. I believe it was Winston Churchill who said it best” The only thing to fear is fear itself.” Let’s look at few of the fears that pervade the general population; the fear of not being loved, the fear of not fitting in, the fear of being alone, the fear of being hurt, the fear of not enough money, and the fear of not belonging. These are but a few of the root fears which branch off to many others, that stifle the souls need for creativity, understanding, growth, development of the soul, the personality and the essence of humanity, most of all the strangling of diversity, compassion, freedom of expression, and true love in its highest form, and lastly true happiness. The saddest part of this is it is reinforced by the society in which we live. Think about how a person is cast if they dare to think differently than his peers or the community, how are they shunned and looked upon, how many times have you thought something somewhat different and kept to yourself, how many times have you thought about doing something a little or a lot differently in style, speech, acting having fun, ETC... yet kept it to yourself out of fear of humiliation, laughed at EYC, how many times have you seen a person act indifferently or aloof, perhaps even cold or unpleasant just to keep others away. The list goes on and on. You know you have a few of these and more. Why out of fear. If these are kept hidden and/or changed your behaviour to protect oneself. How are you experiencing the true human experience in all its glory and wonderment? How is your soul and heart being fulfilled? Most importantly how can you experience true happiness? To be continued.
Remember God does not create garbage
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
A Plan to make 2011 a Good Year
What's the one thing that would make 2011 your best year ever? More money? A better job? Losing 20 pounds? As great as those might be, there's something else that I guarantee will create a magical year: unconditional love. It's the one thing that changes everything.
What if you could live in a state of unconditional love all of the time? The kind of love that let you bring the highest and best part of yourself to your family and friends, to your work, to your community, and even to the things that you find most challenging--and in so doing create a life of profound happiness and fulfillment for yourself?
That's the question I set out to answer in my latest book, Love for No Reason. In my earlier book, Happy for No Reason, I had interviewed unconditionally happy people to find out how to be truly happy. I took the same approach here, this time interviewing the experts on love. I talked to more than 150 people I call "Love Luminaries," including scientists, psychologists, spiritual teachers, and people whose lives were rich in the qualities of the heart. These people weren't just experiencing Hollywood or Hallmark-card kind of love, but love as a state of being: the kind of love that is limitless and doesn't ask to be returned. The state I call Love for No Reason.
What I found is that although the Love Luminaries come from all walks of life and have diverse personalities, they share certain qualities that we all can develop to experience more unconditional love.
Here are 10 tips from my new book to get your New Year off to an unconditionally loving start:
1. Anchor Yourself in Safety.
Feeling stressed, unsupported, or fearful essentially takes love off-line. It's impossible to activate the physiology of unconditional love when you're experiencing stress and your body is in fight or flight. To quickly switch out of stress mode, take a few deep breaths and consciously relax your pelvic floor, located at the base of your body. This kick-starts your parasympathetic system and sets the stage for what mind/body health expert Dr. Eva Selhub calls your body's "love response."
2. Sense Your Support.
Einstein once said that the most important decision you can make is whether to believe you live in a friendly universe--one that is always supporting you. When you're facing a challenge in life, sense the support of this friendly universe by looking for the ways that the situation is ultimately serving you. Ask yourself, Is this for my enjoyment, growth, or both? This helps you avoid generating the biochemistry of anger and sadness and keeps your love flowing.
3. Feel Your Feelings.
What I discovered from my research is that stifling your emotions or expressing them excessively is equally damaging to your capacity to experience love. Luckily, there's a third option: feeling your feelings. Practice experiencing your feelings directly and completely by observing them as they move through your mind and body--and then letting them go.
4. Practice Self-Compassion.
Try a simple self-love technique that brings you into your heart and reminds you to treat yourself with care. Throughout the day, ask yourself, What's the most loving thing I can do for myself right now? or What's the most loving way I can be with myself right now? And then pay attention to the answer and actually do whatever it is. When you love and take care of yourself, you'll find it inevitably serves everyone.
5. Unleash the Power of Forgiveness.
If you're holding on to any resentments or grudges--past or present--they're blocking your ability to love. Use the ancient Hawaiian kahuna technique of Ho'oponopono to release and forgive. The technique consists of sitting quietly and mentally repeating, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you," over and over. Based on the principle of taking total responsibility for everything that happens to you, Ho'oponopono allows you to bring the vibration of pure forgiveness into any situation.
6. Let Love In.
Receiving from others is an act of love and connection that opens your heart – and benefits your body too. Research shows that when you receive, your levels of serotonin – the neurotransmitter of well-being and happiness – rise just as much as when you give. The next time someone offers you a gift – whether in the form of a present, a compliment, or some assistance – graciously receive it. Smile and say thank you, while consciously feeling appreciation in your heart.
7. Live with a Grateful Heart.
Start your own gratitude practice by consciously registering and savoring all that you're receiving right now. Gratitude is the fast track to love. List five things you are grateful for at the end of each day. It turned my life around and it will do the same for yours.
8. Speak the Language of Love.
When we speak directly from the place of unconditional love inside us, we touch that same love in the people we're speaking to. To amp up the wattage of your love-body and have the most positive influence on the world around you, use words that transmit frequencies of love – not fear.
9. Listen for the Subtitles.
During a conversation, wouldn't it be nice to be able to read subtitles that spelled out what the other person really meant? If you only listen to the words spoken, rather than the underlying intention, you can end up feeling blamed or attacked. When you hear from your heart, your body's fear system shuts off and you stop seeing the other person as an enemy. Instead you see the person's humanity and how alike the two of you are, culturing more compassion and love. Create a safe space for others to communicate with you by being sensitive to the unspoken feelings and needs that underlie people's words.
10. Plug in to a Larger Heart.
Love thrives when we feel at peace inside. Recharge your spiritual batteries by investing time each day in silence, meditation, or prayer. Tapping into this inner wellspring of spirit will connect you to the energy of unconditional love and boost your capacity to experience Love for No Reason by a factor of infinity.
Use these tips to create magic in your life this year. When you're open-hearted and loving, you attract the good, because you're radiating the good. What could be more magical than that?
Adapted from Love for No Reason: 7 Steps to Creating a Life of Unconditional Love (Free Press, December 2010). Love for No Reason offers a breakthrough approach to experiencing a lasting state of unconditional love--the kind of love that doesn't depend on another person, situation, or romantic partner, and that you can access at any time and in any circumstance. This is the key to lasting joy and fulfillment in life. Order Love for No Reason now and receive the Love for No Reason Bonus Package free at http://www.TheLoveBook.com. Follow Marci on Twitter @Marci_Shimoff.
What if you could live in a state of unconditional love all of the time? The kind of love that let you bring the highest and best part of yourself to your family and friends, to your work, to your community, and even to the things that you find most challenging--and in so doing create a life of profound happiness and fulfillment for yourself?
That's the question I set out to answer in my latest book, Love for No Reason. In my earlier book, Happy for No Reason, I had interviewed unconditionally happy people to find out how to be truly happy. I took the same approach here, this time interviewing the experts on love. I talked to more than 150 people I call "Love Luminaries," including scientists, psychologists, spiritual teachers, and people whose lives were rich in the qualities of the heart. These people weren't just experiencing Hollywood or Hallmark-card kind of love, but love as a state of being: the kind of love that is limitless and doesn't ask to be returned. The state I call Love for No Reason.
What I found is that although the Love Luminaries come from all walks of life and have diverse personalities, they share certain qualities that we all can develop to experience more unconditional love.
Here are 10 tips from my new book to get your New Year off to an unconditionally loving start:
1. Anchor Yourself in Safety.
Feeling stressed, unsupported, or fearful essentially takes love off-line. It's impossible to activate the physiology of unconditional love when you're experiencing stress and your body is in fight or flight. To quickly switch out of stress mode, take a few deep breaths and consciously relax your pelvic floor, located at the base of your body. This kick-starts your parasympathetic system and sets the stage for what mind/body health expert Dr. Eva Selhub calls your body's "love response."
2. Sense Your Support.
Einstein once said that the most important decision you can make is whether to believe you live in a friendly universe--one that is always supporting you. When you're facing a challenge in life, sense the support of this friendly universe by looking for the ways that the situation is ultimately serving you. Ask yourself, Is this for my enjoyment, growth, or both? This helps you avoid generating the biochemistry of anger and sadness and keeps your love flowing.
3. Feel Your Feelings.
What I discovered from my research is that stifling your emotions or expressing them excessively is equally damaging to your capacity to experience love. Luckily, there's a third option: feeling your feelings. Practice experiencing your feelings directly and completely by observing them as they move through your mind and body--and then letting them go.
4. Practice Self-Compassion.
Try a simple self-love technique that brings you into your heart and reminds you to treat yourself with care. Throughout the day, ask yourself, What's the most loving thing I can do for myself right now? or What's the most loving way I can be with myself right now? And then pay attention to the answer and actually do whatever it is. When you love and take care of yourself, you'll find it inevitably serves everyone.
5. Unleash the Power of Forgiveness.
If you're holding on to any resentments or grudges--past or present--they're blocking your ability to love. Use the ancient Hawaiian kahuna technique of Ho'oponopono to release and forgive. The technique consists of sitting quietly and mentally repeating, "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you," over and over. Based on the principle of taking total responsibility for everything that happens to you, Ho'oponopono allows you to bring the vibration of pure forgiveness into any situation.
6. Let Love In.
Receiving from others is an act of love and connection that opens your heart – and benefits your body too. Research shows that when you receive, your levels of serotonin – the neurotransmitter of well-being and happiness – rise just as much as when you give. The next time someone offers you a gift – whether in the form of a present, a compliment, or some assistance – graciously receive it. Smile and say thank you, while consciously feeling appreciation in your heart.
7. Live with a Grateful Heart.
Start your own gratitude practice by consciously registering and savoring all that you're receiving right now. Gratitude is the fast track to love. List five things you are grateful for at the end of each day. It turned my life around and it will do the same for yours.
8. Speak the Language of Love.
When we speak directly from the place of unconditional love inside us, we touch that same love in the people we're speaking to. To amp up the wattage of your love-body and have the most positive influence on the world around you, use words that transmit frequencies of love – not fear.
9. Listen for the Subtitles.
During a conversation, wouldn't it be nice to be able to read subtitles that spelled out what the other person really meant? If you only listen to the words spoken, rather than the underlying intention, you can end up feeling blamed or attacked. When you hear from your heart, your body's fear system shuts off and you stop seeing the other person as an enemy. Instead you see the person's humanity and how alike the two of you are, culturing more compassion and love. Create a safe space for others to communicate with you by being sensitive to the unspoken feelings and needs that underlie people's words.
10. Plug in to a Larger Heart.
Love thrives when we feel at peace inside. Recharge your spiritual batteries by investing time each day in silence, meditation, or prayer. Tapping into this inner wellspring of spirit will connect you to the energy of unconditional love and boost your capacity to experience Love for No Reason by a factor of infinity.
Use these tips to create magic in your life this year. When you're open-hearted and loving, you attract the good, because you're radiating the good. What could be more magical than that?
Adapted from Love for No Reason: 7 Steps to Creating a Life of Unconditional Love (Free Press, December 2010). Love for No Reason offers a breakthrough approach to experiencing a lasting state of unconditional love--the kind of love that doesn't depend on another person, situation, or romantic partner, and that you can access at any time and in any circumstance. This is the key to lasting joy and fulfillment in life. Order Love for No Reason now and receive the Love for No Reason Bonus Package free at http://www.TheLoveBook.com. Follow Marci on Twitter @Marci_Shimoff.
Monday, January 10, 2011
About Judging
They say do not judge, well for me that statement does not work. You hear it in meeting, you hear it on T.V, and you hear it in church. However I think this statement needs to be better clarified, Let me tell you exactly how I work with this idea. First off let me start with saying that I do not believe in the statement as written in the beginning of the blog and how you usually hear it. To me, once I am clean and sober God gave me a mind to use and part of the brain God gave me has reasoning capabilities. One of those capabilities of reasoning is to judge situation, place and people. In a basic sense not to get too technical and explore all kinds of possibilities, I will keep it simple and explain exactly what I am getting at. First off I have to take my new learning and suggestions then with my somewhat working brain, I have to use reason and JUDGE what situations are safe and helpful to my sobriety, I also have to take that same reasoning to JUDGE, what places are safe for me to attend, hang out at Etc.. The same must be used in JUDGING the people that are safe for me to be around and those that are good for me. Not only those that are somewhat easy to tell, it’s those others that just are not healthy people to associate with considering the path I am choosing to walk. In all these cases I am judging, I have to make rational and reasoned judgement all the time. So to tell me not to judge is just no rational.
Now how I believe this statement to mean and how I state it is; do not be judgemental in your judgements. Now isn’t that a twisted and baffling statement. So let me clarify this for you. In essence it means to be charitable and forgiving in your judgements. Again yes this still needs to be clarified. Partially it means do not let any of your judgements be written in stone. Over time situation and things will change, as this happens also will your judgements change. I will give you a few examples; in early recovery it was not a good idea for me to go to bars or clubs. Today I have no problem going to a club or bar for a show or to talk to someone, or to go dancing once in awhile. However I do not make a habit of going to these places, because unless there is a specific reason to be there they hold nothing I want and the majority of the other patrons and I generally have nothing in common, so I do not regularly go Again in early recovery anywhere I knew that had a high concentration of users I steered clear of. Today if I have a legitimate reason I will go to these areas. People I now work with and see on a fairly regular basis in early recovery I would have avoided like the plague. Some of the people I needed to avoid in early recovery have since become clean and sober. These are a few examples of how your judgements may change.
Now let’s get to the hard part, and to the part I believe what the original statement is trying to say. That is there are some people that if I were to be judgemental in my judgement I would call “sleaze balls, scumbags, degenerates” you get the Idea. Yet if I were to be honest to one degree or another those same names could’ve and probably were used to identify me , back in the day when I was in the middle of my using and abusing life. Could not the same be said for you? So how would I have fared or you, in early recovery, if people still viewed me and you in this manner? Secondly how would we fair if people viewed us in this manner today. Mind you there will always be some that will, they will always view you the same and never allow you to change. These very narrow minded people need the safety of their judgements to always stay the same. While there are some individuals that are very sick, and shall we say have some very questionable behaviours. Whether they are using and abusing or clean and sober. Yes there are still some that are just sober horse thieves. Who are we to judge? Is it not said that “he who has no sin, let him cast the first stone”, also is it not also said that “Judge not lest thee be Judged”. It is not our job to judge others, It is our job to judge are own behaviours, and to rectify when needed. It is God’s job and only God’s to judge. For in essence we are all children of God. No matter how covered up and deep it is. What we must do is recognize that we are all gods’ children. Now this in no way means that I/we condone bad behaviour and make allowances. We must always confront unacceptable behaviour, without being judgemental. For we have not lived another’s life to know the pains and horrors that have made a person behave in any given manner. We must pity what any such person’s pain they must have experienced to make them behave in such a manner, and work towards forgiveness of their behaviour, For we are all guilty of questionable behaviour at one point or another, and can be again under the right circumstances and stressors. It is the behaviour that is unacceptable, not the person. For the person is just a child of God just as we are children of God.
Remember God does not create garbage
Now how I believe this statement to mean and how I state it is; do not be judgemental in your judgements. Now isn’t that a twisted and baffling statement. So let me clarify this for you. In essence it means to be charitable and forgiving in your judgements. Again yes this still needs to be clarified. Partially it means do not let any of your judgements be written in stone. Over time situation and things will change, as this happens also will your judgements change. I will give you a few examples; in early recovery it was not a good idea for me to go to bars or clubs. Today I have no problem going to a club or bar for a show or to talk to someone, or to go dancing once in awhile. However I do not make a habit of going to these places, because unless there is a specific reason to be there they hold nothing I want and the majority of the other patrons and I generally have nothing in common, so I do not regularly go Again in early recovery anywhere I knew that had a high concentration of users I steered clear of. Today if I have a legitimate reason I will go to these areas. People I now work with and see on a fairly regular basis in early recovery I would have avoided like the plague. Some of the people I needed to avoid in early recovery have since become clean and sober. These are a few examples of how your judgements may change.
Now let’s get to the hard part, and to the part I believe what the original statement is trying to say. That is there are some people that if I were to be judgemental in my judgement I would call “sleaze balls, scumbags, degenerates” you get the Idea. Yet if I were to be honest to one degree or another those same names could’ve and probably were used to identify me , back in the day when I was in the middle of my using and abusing life. Could not the same be said for you? So how would I have fared or you, in early recovery, if people still viewed me and you in this manner? Secondly how would we fair if people viewed us in this manner today. Mind you there will always be some that will, they will always view you the same and never allow you to change. These very narrow minded people need the safety of their judgements to always stay the same. While there are some individuals that are very sick, and shall we say have some very questionable behaviours. Whether they are using and abusing or clean and sober. Yes there are still some that are just sober horse thieves. Who are we to judge? Is it not said that “he who has no sin, let him cast the first stone”, also is it not also said that “Judge not lest thee be Judged”. It is not our job to judge others, It is our job to judge are own behaviours, and to rectify when needed. It is God’s job and only God’s to judge. For in essence we are all children of God. No matter how covered up and deep it is. What we must do is recognize that we are all gods’ children. Now this in no way means that I/we condone bad behaviour and make allowances. We must always confront unacceptable behaviour, without being judgemental. For we have not lived another’s life to know the pains and horrors that have made a person behave in any given manner. We must pity what any such person’s pain they must have experienced to make them behave in such a manner, and work towards forgiveness of their behaviour, For we are all guilty of questionable behaviour at one point or another, and can be again under the right circumstances and stressors. It is the behaviour that is unacceptable, not the person. For the person is just a child of God just as we are children of God.
Remember God does not create garbage
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Why I write this blog
Hi all, today’s topic on why I write this blog, well actually there are a few reasons. One of course is the wish to give back to share that which has served me so well something’s through experience and some passed on from my teachers as well as some I stumble upon. Another reason is to clear up things I see not clarified in our fellowships these days, and some clarification on some issues that is needed if one really wants to achieve what this program has to offer. Then there are my personal reasons which I guess are somewhat selfish, I need to speak about some of these things to remind myself as I have this thing in my head which can gather a lot of information, yet sometimes with life happening and life’s situations I sometimes forget that which I know it gets lost in the files in my head, however when I blog about this stuff it keeps it fresher and closer to the surface, so it is easier to bring forth when life’s situations call for the need of it. One such situation I discovered today while visiting some friends. We were discussing what we had all been up to lately. While I was speaking I was sharing on some other projects that I had been researching and thinking of getting into, however I was still researching and building my site and all the work I still needed to do to bring this to fruition. When I realized that I was lying, not to my friends, but to myself. I have been stalling on research and building and launching this project, I had been procrastinating. Why? Out of fear, fear I wasn’t knowledgeable about the subject; fear at failing, fear of ridicule. Now that I had talked about it openly and in some detail It brought the truth to the forefront if I was willing to see and acknowledge the feeling that were coming up as I spoke on how it wasn’t ready yet. Having worked through these feelings in the past and counselled others, I was able to see the procrastinations and stalling techniques as I talked about it and the little tell tale feelings that twinges as I spoke I was able to stop and recognize what was really happening. It’s amazing how those old tapes that were drilled into to us can still come back. I had believed myself to have worked through those long ago. Yet here they were attempting to get me again, it’s amazing how a few upsets in life and detours and those old doubts can creep silently into the back of our minds. Yet I was able to recognize what was happening through open discourse with trusted friends. This and blogging helps to correct negative destructive behaviours. Even though it was not foremost in my thinking, it is open honest discourse with trusted associates that one may see things. And sometimes it is the trusted friends that may see something, and help you see. This is the great value of a support system and a sponsor, as well as a trusted counsellor and/or recovery coach.
Remember God does not create garbage
Remember God does not create garbage
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