About Judging

They say do not judge, well for me that statement does not work. You hear it in meeting, you hear it on T.V, and you hear it in church. However I think this statement needs to be better clarified, Let me tell you exactly how I work with this idea. First off let me start with saying that I do not believe in the statement as written in the beginning of the blog and how you usually hear it. To me, once I am clean and sober God gave me a mind to use and part of the brain God gave me has reasoning capabilities. One of those capabilities of reasoning is to judge situation, place and people. In a basic sense not to get too technical and explore all kinds of possibilities, I will keep it simple and explain exactly what I am getting at. First off I have to take my new learning and suggestions then with my somewhat working brain, I have to use reason and JUDGE what situations are safe and helpful to my sobriety, I also have to take that same reasoning to JUDGE, what places are safe for me to attend, hang out at Etc.. The same must be used in JUDGING the people that are safe for me to be around and those that are good for me. Not only those that are somewhat easy to tell, it’s those others that just are not healthy people to associate with considering the path I am choosing to walk. In all these cases I am judging, I have to make rational and reasoned judgement all the time. So to tell me not to judge is just no rational.

Now how I believe this statement to mean and how I state it is; do not be judgemental in your judgements. Now isn’t that a twisted and baffling statement. So let me clarify this for you. In essence it means to be charitable and forgiving in your judgements. Again yes this still needs to be clarified. Partially it means do not let any of your judgements be written in stone. Over time situation and things will change, as this happens also will your judgements change. I will give you a few examples; in early recovery it was not a good idea for me to go to bars or clubs. Today I have no problem going to a club or bar for a show or to talk to someone, or to go dancing once in awhile. However I do not make a habit of going to these places, because unless there is a specific reason to be there they hold nothing I want and the majority of the other patrons and I generally have nothing in common, so I do not regularly go Again in early recovery anywhere I knew that had a high concentration of users I steered clear of. Today if I have a legitimate reason I will go to these areas. People I now work with and see on a fairly regular basis in early recovery I would have avoided like the plague. Some of the people I needed to avoid in early recovery have since become clean and sober. These are a few examples of how your judgements may change.

Now let’s get to the hard part, and to the part I believe what the original statement is trying to say. That is there are some people that if I were to be judgemental in my judgement I would call “sleaze balls, scumbags, degenerates” you get the Idea. Yet if I were to be honest to one degree or another those same names could’ve and probably were used to identify me , back in the day when I was in the middle of my using and abusing life. Could not the same be said for you? So how would I have fared or you, in early recovery, if people still viewed me and you in this manner? Secondly how would we fair if people viewed us in this manner today. Mind you there will always be some that will, they will always view you the same and never allow you to change. These very narrow minded people need the safety of their judgements to always stay the same. While there are some individuals that are very sick, and shall we say have some very questionable behaviours. Whether they are using and abusing or clean and sober. Yes there are still some that are just sober horse thieves. Who are we to judge? Is it not said that “he who has no sin, let him cast the first stone”, also is it not also said that “Judge not lest thee be Judged”. It is not our job to judge others, It is our job to judge are own behaviours, and to rectify when needed. It is God’s job and only God’s to judge. For in essence we are all children of God. No matter how covered up and deep it is. What we must do is recognize that we are all gods’ children. Now this in no way means that I/we condone bad behaviour and make allowances. We must always confront unacceptable behaviour, without being judgemental. For we have not lived another’s life to know the pains and horrors that have made a person behave in any given manner. We must pity what any such person’s pain they must have experienced to make them behave in such a manner, and work towards forgiveness of their behaviour, For we are all guilty of questionable behaviour at one point or another, and can be again under the right circumstances and stressors. It is the behaviour that is unacceptable, not the person. For the person is just a child of God just as we are children of God.
Remember God does not create garbage