Tradition 5

Tradition 5-- The primary purpose is to carry the message to those still suffering. Now basically each 12 step affiliation states tradition 5 according to their own area of recovery. However the basic is that stated above—to carry the message—to those who are still suffering, whether it is the alcoholic, addict, ETC... This is the primary purpose. I believe that many, after a few days forget this tradition and its simplicity, many start to add little stipulations to this if you want their help.
I bring this up because the other day I happened to visit an area where I spent almost 13 years of my 18 years of sobriety. While we their visiting, we went to a meeting, (actually one I was involved in starting). This meeting happened to be a cake meeting for a person with 7 years (congratulations). I was very saddened and disappointed in what I heard and saw at this meeting. Let me share with you what bothered me at this meeting. At this meeting there was one newcomer and another coming back. This in itself was beautiful. So the readings were read, and this meeting has the seventh tradition in the beginning, so as not to disrupt the flow of the meeting. So after all this was done people were asked to share. Of the twenty or so that shared, it seemed that only a few knew the person having the cake. Those who did addressed this person and shared a little on the reading. The newcomer spoke of his friend, whom was with him had suggested they go as the newcomer had now been clean and sober 5 days (wonderful). Of all those that spoke only one gentleman addressed the newcomer and welcomed him, this person also welcomed back the person coming back. The only other person to address the newcomer was another gentleman with a few months; he shared how he was learning how to stay and that today he congratulated the person taking a cake however his basic concern was hoping he could make it to seven months never mind seven years. After the serenity prayer, at the end of the meeting. A few of my old friends came up to talk with me, as I was sharing with them I noticed the newcomer leaving through the side door, Alone. An old habit I can still remember, so I politely excused myself as quickly as I could. I went outside to see if I could find the newcomer, however he was already gone. As I came back in I looked around for the other gentlemen who had spoken of hoping to make 7 months, as well as the lady coming back, I also looked for a guy who spoke of struggling for a few years now. To my dismay though there was still a fair amount of people still there. The ones I mentioned were all gone.
So this is why I felt so saddened and disappointed upon leaving this meeting. I felt that my beloved fellowship had failed these people, How often I have seen we get a little clean and sober, find our cliques, and we forget what it was like coming in feeling alone, lonely nowhere to go no one to understand and help , feeling the outsider. I remember the distrust and scepticism I had when someone reached out. I also remember the relieve, the covered and scared joy of being accepted, the feeling of being part of, no matter how long I fought it , or how long I kept it suppressed or allowed myself to even consider it possible. The outstretched hand was inwardly deeply appreciated, no matter how long I actually allowed it to show. And basically is that not what it is all about , Helping the newcomer feel comfortable and welcome, so that they will come back and here the message that they no longer need to suffer, that there is a way out and most of all is that someone cares. That is what the Fifth Tradition means to me.
Remember God does not create garbage

Happy New Year 2011 Is Here

Well here it is 2011. I pray that everyone had a safe and sober time bringing in the New Year. My wife and I spent the evening with some dear friends for dinner and games. Quite the contrast from the party years. However we were in the company of loved ones had a good meal and a good time. No one got arrested; no one had to take an ambulance. And we will all remember it. However after we got home my wife has been having severe cramps for over a week now. She informed me that she is still having them, mixed with nausea. And tonight the cramps were coming and got worse however it was accompanied with bleeding. So after some cajoling on my part we went to emergency. Only to see a lot of drunken mishaps, all the ones who had gotten in fights and the ones arrested and brought to emergency. Yet it was quite interesting and thankful in one aspect, the aspect that we no longer live in that. However in another aspect it was very sad state of affairs. All these drunks with cuts, bruises or needing x-rays, especially the ones brought in by police. All received medical attention before my wife, and she was not the only one passed over there were a couple of others , a son whose father was brought in after collapsing, another lady who went left after a couple of hours. We went in at 2;00 A.M. at 6:00 had still not seen a doctor all there was the one son still waiting with father on stretcher was still waiting and one other with leg or foot injury. All the police incidents gone people who came at 3:00 and wobbly gone. X-rays seen had X-rays seen doctor and gone. And some were like a finger or sore wrist, you know the type. That was discouraging. By 5:00 the wife was crying and just wanted to go home and go to bed. By 6:00 A.M. I could not force her to stay any longer. The year can only get better now. I pray that your introduction to 2011 was much better.
Remember God does not create garbage

Happy New Year

I pray you all have a safe and joyous New Years Eve.
I hope you all have made plans which include a safe option for you and are spending it with loved ones.

Remember God does not create garbage

Putting in the Effort

I just finished watching Rudy, and yes once again I cried. However I believe the movie Rudy is an excellent counter point to yesterdays post. Here was a young man, 5’6” maybe and about 150 pounds whose dream it was to go to Notre Dame and play football for the fighting Irish. However he followed his dream with persistence and action. When he was turned down admission to Notre Dame, he didn’t quit. Instead sought help and found out how to make it possible. He went to Holy Cross and studied hard to improve his grades, doing whatever it took to accomplish this goal. Then finally he got accepted to Notre Dame, and then he did whatever it took to make the team giving everything he had. The rest well is even more astounding. However it just goes to show, that any dream is possible if you are willing to take action. Break it down into steps, achievable realistic goals, piece by piece, giving it your effort. The bigger the goal the bigger the effort required. Until one day, reality.

Remember God does not create garbage

What Dreams May Come

As the New Year gets closer, many of us are looking back at the past year. Looking back at was and what wasn’t, what was lost, and what was gained. We are also looking forward to what may be in the New Year. How many of our dreams will come true, this upcoming year. Well more than likely most of our dreams will remain just that, A Dream. That is unless you do something about it. There is nothing wrong with dreams, without dreams of better things where would the world be. However like most of histories dreamers, they all had one thing in common. They took action. No dream is too big to become reality, however all dreams need help to become reality. How to make a dream into reality is Simple. Not necessarily easy, yet simple. First off it needs to be broken down into manageable goals. Step by step goals towards the manifestation of the dream. These goals need to be broken down into manageable, achievable goals. As these goals are achieved one by one in the proper order, the dream will become manifest into a reality.
This is the difference between a dreamer and a doer. A dreamer just sits there and dreams the dream and wishes for it to come true. A doer dreams the dream and takes the action to make it a reality.

Remember God does not create garbage

Time to prepare for The New Year

Ah yes now in between Christmases and new years, the time when a few are relaxing, many are getting ready to return to work or have returned. Yet not quite in full steam, but a lesser pace as another holiday is days away. Many are in a very contemplative state, some are not so relaxed. However in form or another most are at least taking a cursory look at the past year, some looking at the past as a whole. However all basically contemplating the future in one degree or another. This I believe to be a good practice in general. As long as in does not fall into a morbid obsession of beating oneself up about past mistakes, or not taking to extensive aspects into flights of fantasy about the future. It was once said it is only the insane that does not question the past or their own actions. I believe it to be a healthy practice to regularly look at ones past and acknowledge one’s error. For you can’t fix a problem if you remain ignorant of it. We are but human; we all make mistakes, and however the only real mistake is in not acknowledging the fact and striving to fix it. As well we see how or what we would like to change, and through prayer and meditation have gleamed some idea of our God’s will for us. In this we set for goals to achieve these changes, always remembering that these may not be written in stone to remain ever flexible, to adjust to the will of our God. However mostly to honour our God, and ourselves, by accepting our God’s gift of the present.
Remember God does not create garbage

The real gifts of Christmas

As we leave Christmas behind, we often reflect on how we perceived it. If you are anything like me, we look to see if we achieved what we set out to do. For me it was how can I show love to those in my life and practice the spirit of love and giving. This is a difficult task given the materialistic world we live in, how do I be giving without being overly materialistic, and on the same note how to be less materialistic without being cheap?? Especially when there is not a surplus of monetary fund’s to begin with. Well I tried given baking to most friends relatives and neighbours, presents of materials to the very closest, my significant other and step-daughter I attempted to fill their immediate material needs. This was not so difficult in doing with the wife; however the step-daughter, now there is a different story, a young teenager where all the material brand name stuff is so important at that age. Well without going to the poor house I believe I faired okay. Yes I would have liked to give more materialistically to my loved ones as well as close friends, however it was just not in my means. As well as the fact that Christmas is not about the materialistic, it is about the spirit of giving and brotherly love. However when I do have the means I love to indulge in the giving, and I make no apologies for that. I love the feeling you get from the expressions on some ones face when they get an unexpected present. As well as the look when the gift has been chosen to the desires of the intended recipient. However that being said this year I received three of the best gifts that I have ever received, I had left the area where I spent most of my recovery just about three years ago. However in the last couple of months we have been spending time there and renewing some old friendships. Well in the days leading up to Christmas we traveled to our old town to deliver some baked presents. As we visited one dear friend and her family, we had occasion to go on the deck and indulge in a cigarette when this beautiful soul of a lady informed me that she was really grateful and happy that we had renewed our friendship and how special it was to her. I could tell how heartfelt this statement was to her. It touched me very deeply inside as this lady does not give out superficial compliments or genuine statements. For her to say something like this so freely was a rare gift. However my elation was not to end there. Another mutual friend also came by, one with whom I had an estranged friendship with which was also simultaneously being renewed. This wonderful young spirit, informed me how glad she was that we had renewed our friendship and that I was instrumental in showing her unconditional love and friendship and some guidance in her early days. Though I do believe that she gives me for too much credit in her recovery (for I was just an instrument of God at the right time) it was still so touching for me to hear the sentiment and love in this statement. I was overwhelmed. Yes I said three gifts, not that these where not very dear and special to me. They were given by dear friends and as such a little bias and clouded in the compliment as we are dear friends. I know that I probably see my dear friends better than others and I believe this may be the case in how they see me. This however no less diminishes the honour I feel from their words. However the third of my great gifts came from the words of my step daughter. She was out doing some last minute shopping with the wife; after they had gotten home we were discussing some family matters, when my wife told her daughter to repeat to me what she had said to her. Well to shorten the whole story a little, what she repeated was that her best Christmas ever was when she was in grade six, and she came and spent it with me and her mother. As in her words it was one of her best Christmases because, I said something like” we were going to do a real Christmas, we did the whole tree thing together and watched Christmas movies, went to midnight mass, and to me just did the whole family thing, To which we have tried to continue, and too which she still likes, (teenager has totally gotten her yet). These gifts nothing of a material nature involved, were/are my favourite. The things money can’t buy. Is this truly not what The Spirit of Christmas is all about? To me I will always have those treasured memories that only time will fade a slight bit, however will never tarnish or be broken or lost.
Remember God does not create garbage

Post Christmas Day

Here it is Boxing Day, another Christmas in the books. I hope everyone had a safe and sober Christmas. Well here we are, another Christmas day gone. How many of you are going to endure the traffic and crowds of Boxing Day shopping? You know now that the actual Christmas day itself is done. Does not mean the spirit and the holiday spirit is over. For most they have today and tomorrow, some even the whole week. To relax take in the spirit of Christmas, it does not have to end with the end of Christmas day. Now is the time to sit back and relax and share more intimately with friends and/or family, especially now that the anticipation and anxiety of the day is gone. Now is the time for tending the ties that bind, the love, the closeness, the friendships. It is also time to be reflective of the past year, the successes the failures the lessons and the gains. To focus oneself for the coming year and the lessons challenges, it holds. To see where we have been and to ponder on where we would go. To connect with our God, and seek guidance on where God would have us do and/or be. To drink in your God’s strength, guidance, love and especially conscious contact that we may see clearly his will for us. Well until the morrow
Remember God does not create garbage