Christmas with Family

Ah Yes Christmas with family. This can be difficult, depending on your family, or your partner’s family. There is a possibility of all sorts of dynamics here. There is always the Christmas dinner and perhaps family and/ or the New Year’s family get together. The whole aspect can be daunting; the first to consider is your feelings around the whole situation. Are you comfortable with attending? If not, why not? There may be all kinds of reasons, from There may be someone there, whom still has doubts about you, or the one who still hold a bit of a grudge, or the ones that just don’t understand why you just can’t have one, after all it is Christmas time or new years. Or do you just feel awkward, and unsure of self, perhaps still a little lingering shame/ and or guilt. Is it you have one of these families where there is just an overabundance of alcohol and/or drugs. Possibly just some strained relationships.

First off, you need to deal with self. Get yourself centered and balanced, remembering this is a time of love, forgiveness and tolerance. Get yourself into a Christmas mood, and centered on your higher power. Talk a lot with your sponsor, counsellor, recovery coach. and your support group. So you are fully balanced and God centered. Secondly get as many numbers from the above if you need then to help if you get a little frazzled and USE THEM. Secondly again with the above create an escape plan or alternate place to go and stay if things get really hairy, Do this and use it if needed. If your families are anything like mine, THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE. Damn the PRIDE, DO IT. Your support group will not mind, They Love You.

Now as for the doubters, and the ones with snide remarks, or unbelievers, and even the caring ones who just don’t understand. Remember most will never completely understand. some will never understand a little. That is okay, do you understand everybody, and why some people in your life do things you don’t understand. Well there you go, you will never understand everybody. So why expect others to understand you. As for the doubters and sceptics, Remember we were the ones that broke the trusts, we were the ones who created the suspicions. How many lies have we told these people? How many times have we said we’ve changed, or it’s different now or whatever? It will take time to regain peoples trust, even family. After all how quickly do you trust someone who has hurt or lied to you? Remember you are setting an example of the program; you are the example of love, patience tolerance and compassion. Hopefully you will have some support with you, remember to use the phone numbers if you’re feeling stressed or boxed in, Go for a walk, take a breather, and if really hairy use your escape plan. You can always go back after you’ve centered yourself. Remember you are here because it is family and you love these people and they love you. There are just some past actions that may not be healed yet; however this is part of the healing. Remember this is the season of love and family. It’s about God, and God is love.

Remember God does not create garbage