Don’t get me wrong meetings are a great source of recovery and learning. And if it were not for meetings the other avenues of my learning would not have existed. Neither would have I met the teachers I was lucky enough to meet. What I am saying is that for me, a major source of my learning came from the unofficial meetings before and especially after the meetings. When I started recovery it was not unheard of to be 45 minutes to a ½ hour early for a meeting, to help out in setting up, it was also good for me as I attempted to keep busy. Well there was always a couple of others that came early, and sometimes people visiting from out of town were usually early,. This allowed me to mete others in recovery in an informal basis, which led usually to more personal communication on a whole range of topics, mostly surrounding recovery and life in a far more intimate way. Then there was the meeting after the meeting were some of the core members would start the rounds as the meeting was breaking up to say we are all going to such and such restaurant for coffee, it wasn’t uncommon for a few of the older members to offer to buy you a coffee if you were a newcomer or if they knew you were struggling a bit, it was also not uncommon for some of the members to buy a pizza for the table. Usually it was coffee with 5 to 10 members just sharing and being together. However from Thursday to Saturday these get togethers could grow to 20 to 30 members. However prices were cheaper then and restaurants were open to a bunch taking over a corner or a section and just having coffee, and sometimes a piece of pie or something. Also some of the Alano clubs at that time seemed a little more lax in people staying around after a meeting, member or not. It seems today restaurants are not as flexible on such happenings. As well recovery clubs seem more interested in you paying dues and closing as soon as they can rather than being there for the original purposes. However it was these times that got me through and taught me so much between 0 to around 5-6 years. It was in these formidable years in my recovery I was lucky to meet two wonderful examples of recovery, one was John An elderly gentleman in his late fifties or so, who always had the coffee on and you were welcome to stop by and chat. As well as a whole host of others in this community ready to meet for coffee. When I moved from this community to another I was lucky enough to meet another gentleman who referred to himself as “the happiest drunk in the valley”, This wonderful older gentleman was always having people over for recovery chats, every year he held a Bar B Q for all, as well as holding numerous step groups in his home. These two men inspired me, as they reminded me of what it must have been like when Bill and Bob held most activities in their homes as well as housing the newly recovering. So much so that for the next almost ten years, my apartment became a sort of recovery club, there were a group of us that all hung together and we helped each other stay clean and sober, mind you we exchanged the venue to the others home on occasion> I guess we had our own little clique, However it was not uncommon to bring someone else over to my place that they had met at a meeting or an acquaintance, or a newcomer or sponsee. We would go to meetings, sometimes we would watch movies, play card, penny poker on occasion, Pictionary, charades, or numerous other games, sometimes we would just sit round discussing recovery or just have a B.S. session. I believe we all grew and stayed clean and sober during this period, sometimes the newcomers in our group would struggle, yet we would corral them and nurse them back , to which mostly those who stayed around.
I have since moved, yet there are still some of us they remain in touch today and on occasion meet up for a games night and/or a meeting.
I fail to see this much these days, I understand that society as a whole has changed somewhat, and the availability to take over a sections in restaurants for coffee drinkers is not the same today even with the coffee shops. This saddens me, when I remember how crucial these times were to my recovery. However, it seems to me that even if it were possible, people today seem to depart from the meetings much quicker these days, many come late; more seem to leave at half time or early. There just seems to be less solidarity or comradeship. Maybe it’s just me, an missing my old days
Remember God de not create garbage
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