Revisting Step Four

STEP FOUR; MADE A SEARCHING AND FEARLESS MORAL INVENTORY OF OURSELVES”

Here it is Step Four, and yes it says fearless, and everybody points this out to you and says if you have done the three previous steps there is nothing to fear, your god is with you. This is all true, however being honest here; we all faced our first step four with a little dread and trepidation. It is only natural, none of us have really looked at ourselves full on, heck most of us used and drank to run from some of the things we’ve done. We have in the most part stayed in our addictions in an attempt not to look at ourselves fully. However it is now time to do this, it is time to take this step, step four and that is why it is step four, not one, not two, not three. The previous three steps are there to enable you and provide you with the tools to be able to accomplish this step at this time. It says fearless, not because you don’t experience a slight fear or trepidation towards this step it says fearless because now you have the assistance and support of the fellowship, of your sponsor, of your recovery coach, of your support system and mostly of your God as you understand him, to give you the courage to face this head on, that is the fearlessness of this step the courage within you, Gained and assisted by the fellowship, your support system and your God. You will need all three to do this step; YOU cannot and should not do this step alone. You must keep in close contact with your support system during this entire step.

Most people will tell you this step is basically four parts, your resentments, Fears, harm done to others, and our sex conduct. However it is in the strongest possible form that I suggest that it be six parts. You need to add two parts to those four and those two are one-Your deepest darkest secrets and your good parts. You absolutely need to put down your good parts because after all the other stuff you need to be reminded of your goodness. No one is all bad, I don’t care who you are or rather who you think you are. Yes even though while we were out there we didn’t have much opportunity to let the good in us out, it was there all the same. Yes even though we covered most of it and began to think it wasn’t there, it was or we would not have had to hide from what we were doing, or have trepidation about this step. It was just that the good in us didn’t help us very much get what we needed while out there, and did not help in the world that we had lived in.

Now I must make three points that are ABSOLUTE MUSTS in doing a step four. The first absolute must is to keep in close contact with your support system. Let them know you are embarking on a step four lean on their support, you will need it and be thankful for it. The second absolute and something I tell everyone I work with is twofold, A) Do not procrastinate, I repeat Do not procrastinate, and B) before you start work on your step four set up your appointment for your step five. Have it set up for a week to ten days, two weeks at the longest. Get it done and over with , do not sit in the ugliness of it or the negativity it can create, Get to step five and dump it , get rid of the wreckage of the past. Third absolute, as partly discussed already do it quickly yet thoroughly. Quickly is important so that you do not get mired down in the negativity that it can create. Thorough is essential, as before previously we were discussing that this is the final part of the foundation of your recovery, because of this you need to be very thorough and why I say to get rid of those deep dark secrets. Let me expand on this with a few analogies. As a foundation for your recovery, how well does a foundation work when we rid everything underneath except for a tree root not completely killed and gotten rid of. Sooner or later that root will again begin to grow and with all deep set roots it will grow through anything causing the foundation to become tilted and eventually cracked as the roots grow through it. Another analogy is it is like a broken bone not set right, or bad infection from a cut not properly healed or better example a road rash not properly cleaned. You have to go in and fix it properly. Like opening the skin, rebreaking the bone and resetting it. Step four is like fixing a road rash not properly cleaned and healed. You have to cut the skin away, yet the first three steps act like a numbing agent so that it is not too painful to cut the ugly scar away, then it stings a little as you search for bits of sand, gravel and glass embedded in the muscle, then it stings a little as we pour antiseptic over it and drain all the pus and contaminants away, now step five as we dress the properly cleaned wound up. Then in time it grows a fresh healthy skin back over the scab and the wound is fresh healthy and useable with hardly any scarring. That is what happens to your psyche and your psychological self with a proper step four.

Step Four is a fact-finding and fact-facing process. We are searching for "causes and conditions." We want to uncover the truth about ourselves. We want to discover the attitudes, thoughts, beliefs, fears, actions,
Behaviours, and the behaviour patterns - that have been blocking us, causing us problems and causing our failure.
We want to learn the exact nature our "character defects" and what causes us to do the unacceptable things we do
This prepares us to live a life of purpose - where we can be in maximum fit condition to be of service to others. And, By taking inventory and learning the exact nature of our wrongs - we will be able to recognize when we might be slipping Into our old way of life - and headed for new problems, and possibly relapse.


We want to find out exactly how, when and where our natural desires have warped us. We wish to look squarely at the unhappiness this has caused others and ourselves. By discovering what our emotional deformities are, we can move towards their correction. Without a willing and persistent effort to do this, there can be little sobriety or contentment for us. Without a searching and fearless moral inventory, most of us have found that the faith which really works in daily living is out of reach.
- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 43


In Step Four we call it a "moral" inventory because we compile a list of traits and behaviours that have transgressed our highest, or moral, values. We also inventory our "good" traits and the behaviours that represent them. In our life's moral inventory the defects or dysfunctional behaviours might include some that once worked; some dysfunctional behaviours may have saved our lives as children, but they are now out-of-date, self-defeating, and cause us a great deal of trouble when we use them as adults.
- A Hunger for Healing PG. 61


The purpose of a searching and fearless moral inventory is to sort through the confusion and the contradiction of our lives so that we can find out who we really are. We are starting a new way of life and need to be rid of the burdens and traps which have controlled us and prevented our growth.
As we approach this step, most of us are afraid that there is a monster inside us that, if released, will destroy us. This fear can cause us to put off our inventory or may even prevent us from taking this crucial step at all. We have found that fear is lack of faith, and we have found a loving, personal God to whom we can turn. We no longer need to be afraid.
... Step Four will help us toward our recovery more than we imagine. Most of us find that we were neither as terrible, nor as wonderful, as we supposed. We are surprised to find that we have good points in our inventory. Anyone who has some time in the Program and has worked this step will tell you that the Fourth Step was a turning point in their life. Some of us make the mistake of approaching the Fourth Step as if it were a confession of how horrible we are-what a bad person we have been. In this new way of life, a binge of emotional sorrow can be dangerous. This is not the purpose of the Fourth Step. We are trying to free ourselves of living in old, useless patterns. We take the Fourth Step to gain the necessary strength and insight which enables us to grow. We may approach the Fourth Step in a number of ways.
It is advisable that before we start, we go over the first three steps with a sponsor.
- Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text, Chapter 4/Step 4

Remember God does not create garbage