Relationships in early recovery

There are all kinds of relationships, however let's get honest the first thing that pops into our minds when the word is mentioned is the relationship with a significant other. This is a very very dangerous situation. As well as a very relevant one as it is something that is on our minds sooner or later and needs to be addressed openly. We all have a strong and inherent need to be loved, to feel wanted, to feel validated, to feel the loving caress of another human being.

Most of us coming in to recovery have destroyed many a relationship with significant others, Friends, relatives, employers, employees not to mention the ones with ourselves ( if you ever really had one ( I didn't) and with a higher power. Some of you are blessed and still have a relationship with a significant other and/or Friends, relatives ETC. albeit strained. Some of those will end as you grow and you find yourselves growing apart. A very few will find as you grow so will the relationship to greater heights ever imagined.

The main point is that coming in to recovery, BLUNTLY put we do not know how to have real relationships, NO BUTS, we take hostages, we inflict our sickness on unsuspecting loving caring individuals.At this precise moment many of you are denying this and/or not accepting this as the truth, That's O.K. sad but O.K. ( Neither did I) what you are really going to be doing is adding to your list of amends.

Remember that you have a disease which wants you dead, there is only four (4) ways out Recovery-Jails-Institutions-Death. You are afflicted with a SOUL SICKNESS. How can you have a real loving relationship, while suffering a disease which main symptom is selfishness.

Unfortunately many of us will not heed this warning and will inflict our selfish wants and sickness on unsuspecting caring loving individuals ( some as sick as ourselves). The sad fact about this is it will cause pain on both involved, in some it will cause relapse, and in some cases it will result in death. mostly due to relapse some suicide. This will not be your fault albeit you will have a part. do you really want to put yourself through this or another person? Now this does not mean in very rare cases it does work out albeit a very painful process. The odds of it working out are slimmer than winning the lottery.

Now before you become totally disillusioned, and start thinking that you'll never find love or ever have a relationship. As in all the things the 12 Step program has a way for you to find REAL love and REAL RELATIONSHIPS. However as with every other aspect of REAL RECOVERY it takes work. (Yeah that Ugly For Letter Word Again)

Through the Steps, First you will find and build a relationship with a God Of YOUR understanding, after that you will discover who and what your really all about and in doing so create a relationship with yourself. ( What A Concept), further through the steps you will heal and create relationships with family and/or friends and strengthen your relationship with YOUR GOD, at which point you will start creating meaningful relationships in your life and somewhere along this road Your God will introduce you to your significant other.
Remember God does not create garbage