Family and Friends

This is yet another difficult dynamic in recovery , in particular early recovery. First off if we have not already completely destroyed this relationships, it is usually quite strained with misunderstanding and hurt feelings on both sides. We have difficulty comprehending the fact that they can't be more understanding. For us we find it difficult how hard for us this is. we wonder why they can't be more compassionate, understanding, supportive. Don't they realize what we're going through, how painful this is, how hard this is.

No they don't. That is the bottom line unless they have gone through it themselves they have no idea. Besides that they have been watching what we have been doing to ourselves for months, years decades. Depending of the case. They have suffered all that time fearing for our lives our sanity our well being all this time. Not to mention all the hurts we have caused from the times we haven't called the things they have watched us do and go. The times we didn't call for a night a day a week sometimes even longer. They have suffered the broken promises, the lies, possibly even thefts. They have suffered the emotional, mental abuse we have heaped on them even in some cases the verbal and possibly the physical abuse.

More importantly is the fact that it is us that have the disease, a soul sickness, We are the ones that require recovery. We are the ones that were out there. Our responsibility is to do our recovery. Not to decide whether our friends and/or family require recovery. In some cases that may be needed. However whether this be the case or not it is us that are in recovery NOW and the ones who need it. The only thing we can do is our recovery, and realize that part we have in the strained relationship . We are only responsible for our own side of the street. In most cases it is the bigger side. Even if is not it is the only side we can do anything about.
Remember God does not make garbage