Revisiting Step Five

And now is the time; Step Five; “Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs”

Wow what an order, yes it can be daunting, however that’s why step 5 is step 5, and not step two, or any other, you should now have had time to become somewhat comfortable, with a God of your understanding, of being clean and sober, of reality, of the fellowship, of your support system and your sponsor. You have probably built up a level of trust with all of the afore mentioned. As such you know inside the process of the 12 step program works. Yeas however you are probably still thinking, admitting to God is one thing, to ME OK, but to someone else, well that’s something else.

Well ok let’s look at this; first off have we not become somewhat trusting of the fellowship, of your support system, of the 12 step program and the process of it. Of course you have. So let’s look at it piece by piece. Firstly let’s look at admitting to God. Not any God, but the God of your understanding. Do you really think he doesn’t already know? However, I suggest we find a quite safe place, where you feel comfortable and will not be disturbed. In this place say a prayer of your own making offering up your step four to your God, and then proceed to read it out loud. Then take a little quite time. There you have admitted to God and yourself. The world hasn’t ended; you haven’t been struck by lightning. Above all you must remember it is this stuff that you carry around with you, in your head is what is making you ill at ease, it is controlling your life, it is ruining your life, and destroying your abilities to be happy joyous and free. As we discussed before getting it out into the open will destroy the power it has over you. As well there is nothing and I repeat nothing that you have done that others in the room haven’t done and they have recovered and gone on to become happy joyous and free, in all actuality you will probably that there are those that are happy joyous and free that have done for worse. Yet if you are still somewhat reluctant to share with another member, there are many who on their first step five used a professional secret keeper, such as a member of the clergy, or going to a monastery and seeing a monk or perhaps a nun. Not quite as freeing as another member, yet a true beginning and freeing as a ways of releasing all that negativity, a very positive step forward.


How It Works

This is perhaps difficult, especially discussing our defects with another person. We think we have done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves. There is doubt about that. In actual practice, we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient. Many of us thought it necessary to go much further. We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. The best reason first: If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk. Having persevered with the rest of the program, they wondered why they fell. We think the reason is that they never completed their housecleaning. They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock. They only thought they had lost their egoism and fear; they only thought they had humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone else all their life story.
-A.A. Big Book p.72-73

More about Step 5 in the Big Book


All of A.A.'s Twelve Steps ask us to go contrary to our natural desires ... they all deflate our egos. When it comes to ego deflation, few Steps are harder to take than Five. But scarcely any Step is more necessary to longtime sobriety and peace of mind than this one.
- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 55


Some people seek an easier and softer way by doing a "general confession" to God alone. They are not about to name specifically the humiliating, "awful" thinks they have done out loud before another human being. But this act of specifically confessing things is what often leads to serenity. The more afraid you are to tell about a certain act or thought in your Fifth Step, the more likely it is that confessing that particular thing will put a new crack in your denial and free you in a new area. There doesn't seem to be an easier, softer way, and people who seek one apparently don't understand the tenacious and tricky nature of this spiritual disease we are facing. Step Five is to help us see, to grasp, to understand specifically how the disease has permeated our lives in ways we usually cannot see any other way.
- A Hunger for Healing, p. 91-92


The Fifth Step is the key to freedom. It allows us to live clean in the here and now. Sharing the exact nature of our wrongs sets us free to live. After taking a thorough Fourth Step, we have to deal with what we have found in our inventory. We are told that if we keep these defects inside us, they will lead us back to using. Holding on to our past would eventually sicken us and keep us from taking part in this new way of life. If we are not honest when we take a Fifth Step, we will have the same negative results that dishonesty brought us in the past.
...Our Higher Power will be with us when we do this, and will help to free us from the fear of facing ourselves and another human being. It seemed unnecessary to some of us to admit the exact nature of our wrongs to our Higher Power. "God already knows that stuff", we rationalized. Although He already knows, the admission must come from our own lips to be truly effective. Step Five is not simply a reading of Step Four.
- Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text, Chapter 4/Step 5


This may be one of the most challenging steps we face in our recovery process, but it can also be one of the most fulfilling in terms of removing us from our isolation. In order to accomplish Step 5, the three-part sharing it endorses must take place. That is, all of what we discovered about ourselves in our Step 4 inventory is to be freely admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being


Remember God does not create garbage