Meetings a place of miracles ???

There were numerous times we used and/or drank as a social lubricant, to be able to overcome fears and/or shyness, we used and drank to get closer to others, to be able to express ourselves more openly, overall many times it was to just feel part of, to fit in. Or as a wonderful lady I heard speak, put it she used to feel “wittier, prettier and tittier”. We came from a place of feeling less than, we use and drink and become ego maniacs with an inferiority complex.

The drinking and using gave us false courage, it formed the illusion that my lady friend was speaking of, for periods of time it allowed us to feel part of, however as our drinking and/or using careers progressed, it ceased to work the way it once had, It also increased the walls we had felt between us and others. The exact reason we had used and/or drank was now creating the walls even bigger than ever. Some of the reason for this was the build up and/or shame that came with our continued use and the behaviour that the increased use brought with it.

However now as we gradually bring ourselves to attending, these god forsaken meetings, a miraculous thing begins to happen. At the meetings we see a fellowship and we eventually tread into this fellowship. It is in this fellowship that we find others of our kind, others who know the feeling we have, the fears we cringe from, the shame and guilt we carry. It is in these shared burdens and pain that we begin to see ourselves and begin a relationship with others, as never before, the thing we have always wanted, yet in the same breath were afraid of and still are to a degree. It is also here that we learn that a miracle is possible we can have these kinds of relationships. By following “The Program” we learned about in this fellowship. It is possible to find this closeness to others, the way to destroy the walls that had made us feel separate from others, the walls that made it impossible to feel love. Oh yes we had loved or at least believed we had loved, however we were never truly able to feel the love of others completely. The wall was always there, the thing that had us believe that we were different and apart from others, between the fellowship and mostly the program, that feeling of apartness can be forever obliterated. The choice is now ours. It is possible to know unity and love beyond our experience and/or what we once believed to be out of our reach.

Remember God does not create garbage