The Three Essential Basics For A Successful Recovery. The First Basic Ingredient

FIRST INGRDIENT “A SUPPORT SYSTEM"

One of the most important element in "getting and staying" in Recovery, No Matter what you are recovering from. Is A Support System in place for YOU...? Now WHAT IS A SUPPORT SYSTEM? A support system is the foundation of your recovery; it’s like building a house. How long will your house stay up and liveable if the foundation is on a bad foundation? Your recovery is the same! So what are the ingredients for a solid support system?
1) It needs to be readily Available- Now this doesn't mean you are the centre of the universe and the world stops when you call. It does mean you should be able to reach someone on the phone (or in person) in a reasonable amount of time (1/2-1 hour)
2) It needs to involve more than one person- for a couple of reasons. One being people are people- we are all fallible (life happens), secondly if one person tells you something it can be that persons opinion or beliefs, however if a group of people are saying the same thing then it's more apt to be for real. Thirdly if you’re depending on one person's support constantly, you’re going to want to spread it around a little so it doesn't become a burden. Especially if you begin to think your being a burden how much will you reach out for HELP, you'll probably tell yourself to do it yourself? This defeats the whole purpose of a support system. Remember I can't We Can.
3) It provides EMOTIONAL SUPPORT not FINANCIAL SUPPORT- Now this does not mean you cannot accept someone buying you a coffee or a meal or something of this nature on occasion or even "RARE FINACIAL" assistance. However Recovery is about learning to take care of yourself and taking responsibility for yourself and this include "FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY". Yes early recovery is usually a time of financial restraint. However the growth of this period is part of the whole recovery process.
4) It needs to give you HONEST feedback of your Behaviours and Attitudes.
In early recovery we can't always trust ourselves, as said before "our heads have a contract on our asses" As well our thinking is influenced by a well-developed and honed "warped Defense mechanisms" developed through years of abuse. Even if your support systems feedback is wrong and it can be always check it out first. Discuss all your major decisions with them before taking action. Now for most of us in early recovery the support system we establish will be comprised mostly by those we have met in our particular 12 step fellowship. A note here is that this needs to include persons with more "recovery time" than your own, not a bad idea to have an "Old-timer" or two in the mix.
5) Yes it can include a "Sponsor"- How do I Choose a Sponsor
CHOOSING A SPONSOR
This is a tricky one however I have a few hard and fast RULES I Strongly Recommend
A) The SAME SEX A man cannot teach a woman how to be a woman in recovery
Each gender has its own set of issues. And there's always the chance of another kind of relationship developing and that’s one for a whole other posting or 10
B) Availability- Again the best sponsor in the world is no good to you if you can't reach
Them or they have very little time they can devote to you.
C) They Know How to Stay "Clean and Sober" They have significant CONTINOUS recovery
Time.
D) They live what they Preach- Unfortunately some people in the rooms speak real well
However they don't live it. Go out for coffee with them Visit their homes See if the actually
Practice what they preach (HIGH PRIORITY on THIS)
E) They are willing to be HONEST with you- Without a doubt this is the single most
Valuable asset in a sponsor. Someone who willing lovingly tell you you’re being an
as@$#%le. After all A REAL FRIEND is someone who is honest with you.

Can Group therapy and/or Therapy- in A word NO. Therapy of any form is TREATMENT
You may get support from it however it is treatment and not to be considered as part of
Your support system.

Tomorrow the second ingredient

REMEMBER GOD DOES NOT MAKE GARBAGE