Revisiting Step Three

Here we are, Step Three “Made a decision to turn our wills and our lives over to the care of God as we understood him.” Here it is one of the biggest stumbling blocks for newcomers of the 12 step program of recovery. It is the G word; it brings up all kinds of resentments, prejudices and feelings. For most of us there is also a lot of mistrust associated around the word “GOD”. First off, it is imperative that I point out here that the 12 step program of recovery is based on spiritual principles, not religious principles. There is a distinct difference; the difference being is a religion has its own Doctrine of belief and/or dogma and its principles are based on that doctrine. Secondly the word God is usually associated with our understanding of a religion. Now even though most of all the holy texts contain the same basic principles, their respective leaders and doctrine dictate how these principles are practiced and applied.


Then we come to the other objections, such as; if there really was an all loving God, how could he let all these unspeakable acts and atrocities happen? Or they Look at all the atrocities, horrors and wars pert rated in the name of God. And then there is the old standby, I tried the God thing before and all I got was pain and anguish, he let me down. Well again there are answers to these, if we truly get honest with ourselves, and truly look at what this step is actually saying, and asking of us.

To begin with, let’s go back to the previous two steps and recall what we have learned there. In steps one, we learned that we have a problem, that we need help, we learned our way does not work, we learned we had a lack of power, so we learned a bit of humility, surrender and that there is a way out. In step two we learned that, there are powers greater than ourselves, we also learned that there was power available for us, we learned that this power would help us. We also learned in these steps to have an open mind, to be willing to give things a try and to be honest.

So with that let us now try to re examine step three, looking for possibilities rather than objections. Again let me repeat again that this is a spiritual program not a religious one. There by taking away your religious objection to step three. Now my god is not an invasive God, he allows me to have freedom of choice as with all people. This being the case it is people’s choice which has dictated most of the atrocities and state of the world we live in. Secondly when I previously tried God it was usually with a list of things I wanted him to do and give me. Never taking the responsibility for my situation and life rather just want him to fix with no real action and/or responsibility for myself. When he did not deliver to my demands according to my timetable and wants, I found him lacking.


So let’s look at step three again. It is asking me to turn my will and my life over to the care of god of my understanding. This is the key, not someone else’s conception of God, not the God I was taught by someone else’s belief, not a God I was told existed and how he existed and operated. A God I could understand and relate with. So maybe it’s time you created a personal relationship with YOUR God, not someone else’s conception. As well G.O.D. can be viewed as the steps, they are G.ood, they are O.rderly and they give you D.irection. There is also G.roup O.f D.runks or D.ruggies, and they are making it. There is also the aspect that the spiritual principles are good orderly and give direction.

FROM WIKIPEDIA
"Spirituality can refer to an ultimate or immaterial reality; [1] an inner path enabling a person to discover the essence of their being; or the “deepest values and meanings by which people live.”[2] Spiritual practices, including meditation, prayer and contemplation, are intended to develop an individual's inner life; such practices often lead to an experience of connectedness with a larger reality, yielding a more comprehensive self; with other individuals or the human community; with nature or the cosmos; or with the divine realm.[3] Spirituality is often experienced as a source of inspiration or orientation in life.[4] It can encompass belief in immaterial realities or experiences of the immanent or transcendent nature of the world.
Spirituality, in a wide variety of cultural and religious concepts, is itself often seen as incorporating a spiritual path, along which one advances to achieve a given objective, such as a higher state of awareness, to become a perfect human being, outreach wisdom or communion with God or with creation. Plato's Allegory of the Cave, which appears in book VII of The Republic, is a description of such a journey, as are the writings of Teresa of Avila. The spiritual journey is a path that has a dimension primarily subjective and individual. For a spiritual path may be considered a path of short duration, directed at a specific target, or a lifetime. Every event of life is part of this journey, but in particular one can introduce some significant moments or milestones, such as the practice of various spiritual disciplines (including meditation, prayer, fasting), the comparison with a person believed with deep spiritual experience (called a teacher, assistant or spiritual preceptor, guru or otherwise, depending on the cultural context), the personal approach to sacred texts, etc. If the spiritual path is the same in whole or in part, with an initiatory path, there may be tests to overcome. Such tests usually before a social significance are a "test" for the individual of his reaching a certain level. Spirituality is also described as a process in two phases: the first on inner growth, and the second on the manifestation of this result daily in the world

Secular spirituality denotes various attempts to recognize aspects of life and human experience which are not captured by a purely materialist or mechanistic view of the world, but without accepting belief in the supernatural. It is for example possible to regard many kinds of spiritual practice such as mindfulness and meditation as beneficial or even necessary for human fulfillment without accepting any supernatural interpretation or explanation. Indeed, there is no necessary connection between spirituality and belief at all. For some, the term simply carries connotations of an individual having a religious outlook which is more personalized, less structured, more open to new ideas/influences, and more pluralistic than that of the doctrinal faiths of organized religions, although whether it is helpful to call this view secular may be doubtful. While atheism tends to lean towards skepticism regarding supernatural claims and the existence of any actual "spirit", some atheists define "spiritual" as nurturing thoughts, emotions, words and actions that are in harmony with a belief that the entire universe is, in some way, connected; even if only by some mysterious flow of cause and effect at every scale.[9] Some versions of Buddhist spirituality would also be examples of this style of thought since Buddhism, although conventionally involving the supernatural is not theistic."


In contrast, those of a more 'New-Age' disposition see spirituality as the active connection to some force/power/energy/spirit, facilitating a sense of a deep self.
For some, spirituality includes introspection, and the development of an individual's inner life through practices such as meditation, prayer and contemplation. Some modern religions also see spirituality in everything: see pantheism and neo-Pantheism. In a similar vein, religious naturalism has a spiritual attitude towards the awe, majesty and mystery it sees in the natural world.

This is not to say that religion does not have its place or that one should abandon their personal religious beliefs, in all actuality if one does have a religious practice and belief it is highly suggested to continue with a path you are familiar and comfortable with. Once again –A God of YOUR understanding.


Now let us look at the first part of the step again, “Made a decision to turn our will and life over to the care of...” Well it is rather simple, however not easy it will take time and effort. Mad a decision > well if you really made a decision it needs to be followed with action, this is an action step. “Turn our will and life over” again rather simplistic. Your will is your thinking and your life is your actions. So in essence turning your will and life over is thinking and acting in a manner that is consistent with your concept of your higher power. Or even easier the basic spiritual principles, thinking and acting with love, kindness, giving, tolerant, patient, caring, honest, forgiving, integrity to name a few. On a daily basis.


How It Works
We were now at Step Three. Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him: "God, I offer myself to Thee-to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always?" We thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready; that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him
- A.A. Big Book p.63



Like all the remaining Steps, Step Three calls for affirmative action, for it is only by action that we can cut away the self-will which has always blocked the entry of God - or, if you like a Higher Power - into our lives. Faith, to be sure, is necessary, but faith alone can avail nothing. We can have faith, yet keep God out of our lives. Therefore our problem now becomes just how and by what specific means shall we be able to let Him in? Step Three represents our first attempt to do this. In fact, the effectiveness of the whole A.A. program will rest upon how well and how earnestly we have tried to come to "a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him".
- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 40


But other people say "making a decision" to do something is only the first part of doing it. For example, if I make a decision to buy a house, I haven't bought the house yet, and I certainly can't move in this afternoon. There are a series of things I must do after making a decision to buy a house before I have actually bought it. I have to find a house, get a realtor, a lawyer, a banker, check taxes, check a certificate of title, and do all kinds of other things. Then finally, at the end of the process, I've bought the house, and I'm living in it. In taking Step Three, if you make a decision to turn your will and life over to God, you're deciding. You're committing to "buy the house". You're committed to turning your life and your will over to God. But you haven't completed the transaction when you say the words of commitment.
... I asked my sponsor, "If saying the words doesn't turn my will and my life over to God, how do I do it?" He smiled and said, "That's what Steps Four through Twelve are: the way to turn our whole lives - past, future, and present - over to God."
- A Hunger for Healing, p. 53


We found that all we needed to do was to try. When we gave our best effort to the Program, it worked for us as it has worked for countless others. The Third Step does not say, "We turned our will and our lives over to the care of God". It says, "We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him". We made the decision; it was not made for us by the drugs, our families, a probation officer, judge, therapist or doctor. We made it. For the first time since that first high, we have made a decision for ourselves.
- Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text, Chapter 4/Step 3


A common recovery phrase used in Twelve Step groups is "Turn it over." For the recovering person, that means turning over to God's care not only the major, conspicuous addictions like alcoholism. It means turning over every aspect of life, even the small frustration involved in handling children or trying to make a faulty appliance work or dealing with congested freeway traffic. In the face of these irritations, the recovering person will say time and time again, "Turn it over; turn it over; turn it over."
...Breaking out of this bondage of self does not mean we ignore or deny our needs. In fact, quite the reverse is true. If we can discover healthy, God-directed ways to meet our emotional and physical needs, then we become less needy, less selfish, less self-preoccupied individuals. This is another recovery paradox. Discovering what our needs are and asking to have those needs met may be one of the most unselfish things we do. All of us have needs, and all of us have choices as to how those needs are to be met. Addictions, compulsions, and co dependencies are counterfeit means of trying to meet our basic physical, emotional, and spiritual hungers. With God's help we can find genuine ways of satisfying them.
- Serenity, A Companion for Twelve Step Recovery, p. 34,35


Remember God does not create garbage