Denial

Denial is not the river in Egypt. It is a tool that you have developed and mastered over the years to protect your addiction. D.E.N.I.A.L Don’t Even kNow I Am Lying.


“We have troubles because we refuse to grow up.” Said the master. “How will we know when we have grown up?” asked the student. “When we no longer need to be lied to.” Replied the master.


Now that you have reached recovery, means that you don’t need or want to continue to lie to yourself, that is if you truly want real recovery. Denial was your escape from responsibility and reality, your own little fantasy world. It was lying to yourself, telling yourself, everything is fine, you are in control, there is no problem. Denial keeps you from the truth of your life and situation. A spiritual reality is when we experience the truth; from there you can change and transform your life.


For many of us our addiction seems to have a personality and a voice all its own. For example, most of us feel and behave differently in different areas of our lives. Such as work, in the classroom, with our parents, with our kids, on a date, with our spouse or partner ETC...We teach our children that it is wrong to lie, and they should always tell the truth, no matter what. Then we lie to our boss, lie on our taxes, even to our own parents. It is as if we several different personalities existing in our consciousness. One of these is our addiction; it has a life and a voice as well. And to stay alive and well it creates its own stories and lies to us. In essence it tells us we are fine and do not have a problem, when our life is falling apart, just so we can keep doing what we’re doing. This is denial in action.


To recover from addiction we need to recognize our denial. We need to see the truth of our lives and stop lying to ourselves. Denial is a protective mechanism. It is a defence to keep us from the pain of facing the truth about our addiction. It keeps us from seeing our powerlessness as well as the consequences and unmanageability of our addiction. If we choose not to see the truth, our addiction can continue to destroy our lie.


Denial comes in many forms; everybody suffers from denial, not just those with addictions. If you are human you have denial about something. Denial protects us from the pain, the pain from facing the reality of our own unhealthy or wrongful behaviours. However as those with addictions, to keep our denial is to die. Not only do we fail to see what it is doing to us, it creates havoc and pain for all who come in contact with us. We need to recognize our own denial and the forms it takes. In doing so we can loosen the grip addictions has on our lives and replace it with truth, acceptance and recovery.


We have used denial in many forms , such as simply denying, minimizing, rationalizing, blaming, bargaining, intellectualizing, diversion, passivity, hostility and just plain old excuses,. We have used these forms of denial and/or behaviours to avoid the truth about our addiction. Now you need to recognize where and when you have used these forms and/or behaviours, which are your favourites. So that you can see your truth, and recover.



Remember God does not create garbage