Real 12 Step Recovery
Real 12 Step Recovery, Getting and Staying Clean and Sober
WELCOME Hi There, this blog will be about what I believe to be REAL RECOVERY not band aids or feel good BS These are the hard cold true facts that I have learned and been taught by OLD TIMERS and People WHO HAVE REMAINED CLEAN and SOBER and "GOT A LIFE".There will be no original thoughts here, Because in essence there are no original thoughts only perhaps originals and/or different ways to present or illustrate old Ideas.Now that this is understood lets get to the heart of the matter. Recovery is not about coddling or enabling. IT IS LIFE CHANGING. PERIOD WELCOME to the hardest thing that you will do in YOUR LIFE. Make no mistake, Real recovery is not EASY, it is simple, very simple, Yet you will make it hard, as all before you have. Also let's get this STRAIGHT right off the top. REAL RECOVERY has nothing to do about ALCOHOL and/or Drugs. IT IS about the way you react to life, your perceptions, and YOUR actions. Alcohol and/or Drugs are just a symptom of YOUR disease. Take notice of the word DISEASE - Which in our case translates to ILL AT EASE or simply not at ease, which is the basic nature of our problem and answer to our solution.Back to why I state that this is the hardest thing you will do. I state this because Real Recovery Will challenge everything you know/believe or really what you think you know, Because you really don't know SHIT or you wouldn't need recovery. It will make you face the truth about your biggest problem YOU and YOUR THINKING. You will face the real you not the one we would like to see with all the justifications and rationalizations just the TRUE YOU.REMEMBER GOD DOES NOT CREATE GARBAGE >>>>>>>> If you have a request or enquiry Please Email me at wiledchild@live.ca I'd like to add one other thing here for all those who read this Blog. It's something that was taught to me That was invaluable to my recovery My Spiritual Advisor Taught me this. Don't believe a word I say , do not take what I say as the truth just because I say it or anybody else, for that matter. Check it out for yourself. Try it on for size. Investigate , find out for YOURSELF only use what you have read or heard as a reference point. Find the truth out for yourself . This way it is your TRUTH not someone else's. You will also not be believing a lie or untruth if you always check things for yourself . Do not believe everything you are told or read without checking it out.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Anger on Autopilot By Sharon Sayler

Is ANGER steering you or someone you care about off course? Maybe the ANGER is set on Autopilot!

Have you ever noticed there is really little one can control except how we choose to react?
While winging my way back from LA the other day I noticed mass anger, upset and frustration. There had been weather delays, crowds and a bit of chaos, none of which I have yet learned to control. After years of hard lessons in trying to control things out of my control, I've worked to train myself to "go with the flow" as they say, yet, after watching 100+ people board the plane; I can only assume that "control / no control" is not something everybody understands, yet.

I don't think the majority even realized they were behaving from a place of overwhelm. I say behaving because overwhelm isn't just an emotional response, it's a physical response. You can just see it in their faces and the way they move....

The feeling of overwhelm is part of the physical response to stress, together these two create the majority of the fight or flight response (no pun intended.) Fight or flight is the rapid surge of high levels of the hormones adrenaline and cortisol released in our body. These hormones affect reasoning and thinking. They are not bad guys though, at low levels, cortisol actually facilitates our mental functions.

Course correction may be required...

Since I'm was on a plane, I'll steal a flying analogy... Did you know when you fly, if you start out just one degree off course you end up in a totally different part of the world? It's the law of exponential growth.

You start at Airport X, you fly one degree off course, soon it becomes two degrees, than four, than eight off course.... Same idea holds true for emotions, they can infect not only you, but an entire group. A study by Daniel Goleman and Richard Boyatzis titled Social Intelligence and the Biology of Leadership states that "destructive emotions infects an entire group and inhibits its performance."

No one is immune to the contagion of stress. Yet, we can take steps to combat overwhelm, stress and anger when they arise. Take the time to understand the biology of your emotions. Train yourself to control your emotions instead of being controlled by them. Notice when you begin to feel overwhelmed and take action to calm yourself so you can maintain clear thinking when it is needed most.

A quick and in-the-moment fix for overwhelm is low, deep breathing. It's amazing what a few deep breaths will do to clear your thinking. Being able to think clearly under stress will increase your effectiveness as a leader. Awareness is key, many notice the physical sensation first, some call it a gut response, a knot in the stomach, a frog in your throat... and my favorite "turtleing," that sensation of your shoulders rising so high that your ears disappear.

Knowing that so much of the overwhelm response is physical, does not excuse us from not using our mental gifts to overcome an anger autopilot response. Again, awareness is key; anger can quickly be disabled by knowing it is a secondary emotion. One must have their feelings hurt, or be frightened or frustrated to get angry. Go beyond just noticing "I'm angry."

What are the impulses and intentions running through your mind? An impulse is usually that thought "I feel so (angry) (mad) (sad)... I could...." then, look to the intention behind it. What do you hope to accomplish? With every impulse and intention, the law of cause and effect comes along for the ride. "If I respond this way, what's likely to happen, next?"

Take some time to develop default solutions, "A better thing to do would be...." "If I try that, the benefits will be...." Under stress the typical first response is to revert back to old habits, no matter how unsuitable they are for addressing the new challenge.

As they just told me, "put your mask on first, then help others...." Take a few deep breaths to clear the mental cobwebs. To be a true leader one must have an awareness of and control over the autopilot button.

"If I lose my temper, you lose your head. Understand?" ~ Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland

Shared and Written by Sharon Sayer

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