It’s that time of year again. The time of brotherly love, families, giving, charity and anxieties of all sorts. For some this a wondrous time, however for many others it is a time of dread. There are so many aspects that this time of the year brings up for everybody. For some this is a time of immense loneliness and pain. For others it is a time of dread, for others a time full of anxious moments. We shall try to address some of these in the coming days.
Today let us look at the aspect of loneliness and pain. For some of us we are miles and miles away from any family, and it is not feasible to go home. A phone call during the holidays is nice however there is still a lot of time feeling disconnected. For yet others we miles away from families and we have burnt many bridges, that the phone calls if at all possible are tense and short. While yet some us have burnt bridges that are unrepaired and/or unrepeatable (presently. There are those to without a family to connect with. In this mix there are those too whose family ties are too chaotic and/or dysfunctional that a call or visit is unthinkable, or potentially worse than being without. In this mix there are those who have not built very strong bonds yet in recovery to have established an extended family. Those whose pride gets in the way of accepting the invitations of others, mainly because they feel out of place, or “don’t want to impose. Or it is just too uncomfortable. In this mix and the time spent alone, the mind seems to only haunt and torment, bringing up all the people we have hurt, lost, pushed away, destroyed ties with. All the regrets and mistakes are there to haunt us. As well as all the hurts done to us.
It is in these times that we really need to be availing ourselves of all the meetings available. Get out; spend as much time with others in the program. Get to meetings, go for coffee. Cut down the time “the committee” has to mess up your thinking. Talk to your sponsor daily, talk to your recovery coach as often as possible, talk to your counsellor as often as available. Talk to your support system continuously. The less time alone the better. Bury the pride! Accept any and all invitations from program members and/or your support system to spend time with them at the holidays. They more or less understand what you are going through and want to help. In some if not most cases you will be helping them as much as you think they are helping you. In some instances you will be helping them more than you believe they are helping you. Remember recovery is not a one person job. We can’t do it alone. So talk constantly about what is going on for you. You will be amazed at how many others are experiencing the same feeling. You’re talking about it may just save the life or sobriety of the person beside you. Remember together we can do what we can’t do alone.
Remember your higher power didn’t bring you this far just to leave you hanging.
P.S. If you really need someone to talk with email me at wiledchild@live.ca ANYTIME-I will respond
Remember God does not create garbage
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Friday, December 10, 2010
The Truth About Affirmations
What Louise Hay said in her video is really something to look at. Do you remember what I’m talking about? Probably not, when she suggested to just say the affirmation, I believe it was “I am lovable and deserving of love” while looking yourself in the eyes. While doing this, be aware of the feelings and/or inner voice that comes up for you. This is a really good exercise to see what is blocking you from receiving what you are worth. It is one of those old “lies” that you believed.
However that is not the point I wish to make. The point I am attempting to make here, is affirmations are nothing but a bunch of words, the way we generally use them they are worthless. They are just a bunch of words, which sound great at first. Just like a new story, or a new joke, however after a couple of times you stop listening or even hearing it. A little bit further down and you don’t even want to hear it. You may even know someone, or be that someone who went a little farther with this you wrote it down or even got one of those fridge magnets or stickers that are on the bathroom. Mirror in the corner. Or the bedroom mirror. However just like a picture in your house it was nice in the beginning and you were full of good intentions. But after awhile it’s just like that piece of art. It is still there and it is no less attractive and beautiful than the day you put it up. However it is just a piece of the furniture now you don’t even notice it.
Like I said earlier, affirmations are just a bunch of words. Much like the morning (or evening) newspaper) it was interesting and fresh when you got it , however by the end of the day , you’ve left on the bus, used it to wrap fish, put potato peelings in it, basically it’s ended up in the garbage. Useless and doing nothing for you.
Again just a bunch of words, just like the twelve steps, or the Bill of Rights, or the Declaration of Independence. Are you getting the point now? They are just words, however what the words mean to you, and more importantly what are you going to do with them. As I said earlier the way we generally use them, make affirmations worthless. The key is learning how to make affirmations work for us. We are told that we need to keep repeating them till they work into our subconscious and take effect. However most of us understand the whole idea and basis for them. We generally believe it a good idea, sound logic. However we never really learn how to properly use them. We say them and at first feel a little weird and stupid saying them, however we do it because we believe in the logic and want them to work. However we keep doing it mumbling the words, with no real conviction or life. We even get the magnets or stickers. However after a short period of time we have stopped repeating them and barely even notice the magnet and/or stickers anymore. Why?? Because they have no life, no energy. That is the part that has been missed.
Just on a whim here, I want you to do something for me. I want you to pump your fist and shout “YES”, Do it like you just won one of the stupid little arguments, you know the ones were your friend or partner and you were saying it was like this or this is what happened and they are saying no this is what happened. And then someone validates you and you get all righteous and smart assed saying I told you. You know those stupid little things where we go I was right. Now you know that “YES” let’s try it again this time pump both fists. Just like your team scored the winning goal. You notice that energy, that life. Notice how your chest was a little puffed, your chin was up, your head up and held high, your shoulders back. Full of Life and Energy. That is how an affirmation has to be said numerous times with that same energy and life. You need to give it life and energy to be effective. A couple times a day. As a daily routine. Notice your feelings afterwards. You’ll notice a spring in your step. A pumped up feel good feeling. This is the life and energy that will give the affirmation life.
Remember God does not create garbage
However that is not the point I wish to make. The point I am attempting to make here, is affirmations are nothing but a bunch of words, the way we generally use them they are worthless. They are just a bunch of words, which sound great at first. Just like a new story, or a new joke, however after a couple of times you stop listening or even hearing it. A little bit further down and you don’t even want to hear it. You may even know someone, or be that someone who went a little farther with this you wrote it down or even got one of those fridge magnets or stickers that are on the bathroom. Mirror in the corner. Or the bedroom mirror. However just like a picture in your house it was nice in the beginning and you were full of good intentions. But after awhile it’s just like that piece of art. It is still there and it is no less attractive and beautiful than the day you put it up. However it is just a piece of the furniture now you don’t even notice it.
Like I said earlier, affirmations are just a bunch of words. Much like the morning (or evening) newspaper) it was interesting and fresh when you got it , however by the end of the day , you’ve left on the bus, used it to wrap fish, put potato peelings in it, basically it’s ended up in the garbage. Useless and doing nothing for you.
Again just a bunch of words, just like the twelve steps, or the Bill of Rights, or the Declaration of Independence. Are you getting the point now? They are just words, however what the words mean to you, and more importantly what are you going to do with them. As I said earlier the way we generally use them, make affirmations worthless. The key is learning how to make affirmations work for us. We are told that we need to keep repeating them till they work into our subconscious and take effect. However most of us understand the whole idea and basis for them. We generally believe it a good idea, sound logic. However we never really learn how to properly use them. We say them and at first feel a little weird and stupid saying them, however we do it because we believe in the logic and want them to work. However we keep doing it mumbling the words, with no real conviction or life. We even get the magnets or stickers. However after a short period of time we have stopped repeating them and barely even notice the magnet and/or stickers anymore. Why?? Because they have no life, no energy. That is the part that has been missed.
Just on a whim here, I want you to do something for me. I want you to pump your fist and shout “YES”, Do it like you just won one of the stupid little arguments, you know the ones were your friend or partner and you were saying it was like this or this is what happened and they are saying no this is what happened. And then someone validates you and you get all righteous and smart assed saying I told you. You know those stupid little things where we go I was right. Now you know that “YES” let’s try it again this time pump both fists. Just like your team scored the winning goal. You notice that energy, that life. Notice how your chest was a little puffed, your chin was up, your head up and held high, your shoulders back. Full of Life and Energy. That is how an affirmation has to be said numerous times with that same energy and life. You need to give it life and energy to be effective. A couple times a day. As a daily routine. Notice your feelings afterwards. You’ll notice a spring in your step. A pumped up feel good feeling. This is the life and energy that will give the affirmation life.
Remember God does not create garbage
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
God answers all prayers
Yes God hears and answers all prayers. Sometimes it may feel that God is not listening. It may feel that your higher power has not heard your pleas, and has forsaken you. This is not the case; God will never put more on your plate than you are capable of handling. Even though it may occasionally feel that you have a side plate and your higher power is dishing it up like you have a serving platter.
There are a number of reasons for these feelings. Sometimes the answer is just plain no. It is not in the grand design or the bigger picture. Sometimes the answer is not now. Usually though the answer is just you’re not listening. God has bestowed this wonderful gift upon us, this gift is the freedom of choice (it however sometimes may feel like a curse} Sometimes we are just making the wrong choices. We are looking for the easier softer way. We may be avoiding his will for us out of fear. Sometimes he has given us a way to what we are asking we are just not taking the correct path, because of the fear, or work entailed. For your higher power wants you to be happy joyous and free. However sometimes there is more involved than just “turning it over”. After all God does not put your pants on in the morning. Meaning Ask and it shall be given, however sometimes there is some work involved. Or God helps those that help themselves. And sometimes there are just some lessons to be learned and wisdom to be gained. When the student is ready. Bottom line is God did not bring you this far out the depths of hell, just to leave you hanging. There is a purpose; however we just usually cannot see it for we do not know the future.
Remember God does not create garbage
There are a number of reasons for these feelings. Sometimes the answer is just plain no. It is not in the grand design or the bigger picture. Sometimes the answer is not now. Usually though the answer is just you’re not listening. God has bestowed this wonderful gift upon us, this gift is the freedom of choice (it however sometimes may feel like a curse} Sometimes we are just making the wrong choices. We are looking for the easier softer way. We may be avoiding his will for us out of fear. Sometimes he has given us a way to what we are asking we are just not taking the correct path, because of the fear, or work entailed. For your higher power wants you to be happy joyous and free. However sometimes there is more involved than just “turning it over”. After all God does not put your pants on in the morning. Meaning Ask and it shall be given, however sometimes there is some work involved. Or God helps those that help themselves. And sometimes there are just some lessons to be learned and wisdom to be gained. When the student is ready. Bottom line is God did not bring you this far out the depths of hell, just to leave you hanging. There is a purpose; however we just usually cannot see it for we do not know the future.
Remember God does not create garbage
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Let Go and Let God
The Spirituality of Surrender
By John P. Mossi
Losing, whether it is losing a friendly bet, an important argument, or a business contract, is a difficult to swallow. We detest losing. The same is true for any diehard sports fan who endures a hometown rout. We walk away replaying the game, blaming the unfair referees , or creating strategies that “would have” favorably altered the score.
When the defeat entails greater stakes, there is higher resistance to a surrender. To address a serious problem like addiction is personally painful. Implicit in such reality is a pervasive sense of failure. One has lost control over life’s direction. The only way to regain control is to surrender what has not worked and seek a new way. This process is replete with difficulty.
This article will examine the spirituality of surrender as a means of coming home to God (1). Surrendering to God will be looked at in three ways. The first involves an understanding of how surrender is operative in twelve-step recovery programs like Alcoholics Anonymous. The second involves a look at the life of Ignatius of Loyola and the surrender components of the final prayer of the Spiritual Exercises, the “Suscipe,” or “Take and Receive.” The third considers Jesus’ act of surrender on the cross in Luke 23:46. Each of these three different “ways” of surrendering involves putting our ultimate identity and confidence in God.
LET GO, LET GOD
At Alcoholics Anonymous meetings or twelve-step recovery retreats, the expression “Let go, let God” is often used. These four important words constitute the core spirituality of A.A. and similar recovery programs that have adapted the twelve steps to their particular addiction. “Let go, let God” is an invitation to surrender one’s unmanageable life to God.
“Let go, let God” is a gentle conversion reminder, a kind of mantra, which assists us both to admit the addiction and to hand it over along with its various forms of compulsions to God. The long form of the prayer would be something like “Let go of alcohol (or whatever the specific substance or non substance addiction might be) and let the hand and grace of God guide my life.”
The prayer is not magic. Saying “Let go, let God” does not instantaneously bring about recovery. Its first purpose is to assist the recovering addict to keep the daily partnership task of surrendering the addiction to God. The second purpose of “Let go, let God” is to be a prayer of liberation, to call on the greater power of God to help one escape from destructive lifestyle patterns. In this way the creative resources of the individual and the action of God are focused on together. The prayer also serves to silence those addiction-related inner-committee tapes and voices of doubt, loneliness, fear, and caustic shame that can interfere with a person’s slow recovery. These, too, need to be handed over to God.
I have the greatest admiration for all who enter the surrender process of a twelve-step program. For many, it is the difference between death and life, the difference between barely existing as a human and participating in community, between dysfunctionalism and experiencing the serenity that only God gives with amazing grace.
The first three steps of Anonymous programs set up this “Let go let God” dynamic. The language of the twelve steps is straightforward and simple. This is part of their wisdom and wide appeal. The steps make sense to a lot of people. Since A.A. began in 1935 at Akron, Ohio, Anonymous recovery programs have multiplied to treat various forms of addiction (2). These include Narcotics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, Emotions Anonymous, Workaholics Anonymous, Sexaholics Anonymous, Al-Anon, and Adult Children of Alcoholics.
Let us examine these first three steps.
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol (or the other specific addiction) - that our lives had become unmanageable (3).
The first step is crucial. You admit you have a serious problem. There is no denial of the fact. The blunt reality is your life is out of control, in fact, unmanageable. Furthermore, you are powerless to do anything about it.
At Anonymous meetings, this first step is handled in an up front manner. When members speak, they state their first name and their addictiveness: “I’m John. I’m an alcoholic.” “I’m Susan. I’m a recovering overeater.” In formal religion we might refer to this acknowledgment as group confession. In recovery programs it is simply admitting what can no longer be denied. Step one is an honest, vulnerable beginning place. Owning and naming the unmanageable addiction is essential to the surrendering process. When one is aware of a specific uncontrollable disease, one can effectively pray “Let go.”
But to whom does one surrender? Steps two and three look at the second part of the mantra: “Let God.” God is the significant associate in restoring harmony. To appreciate the spirituality of the twelve steps, it is important to reflect that the existence and action of God are mentioned seven times in the twelve steps. The particular addiction is only mentioned once, and that is in the first step. The activity of surrendering one’s addiction and life to God becomes the spirituality cornerstone of the remaining steps.
2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity (4).
Step two admits the need of an outside corrective authority, a Higher Power, to bring about a stability in one’s life. This is the first glimpse of light that invites God in as the restorer of sanity.
There are two other important spirituality elements operative in the second step: 1. The belief that a Higher Wisdom exists and, 2. a disposition of humility on the part of the believer. These two qualities counter culturally work against the arrogance of the ego that craves to cling to the addiction. Step two indicates that the recovery process entails an attentive listening to a new Teacher, which means that the addict has to take on the attitude of learner. There is a major shift in trust: from addiction to God.
3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him (5).
Step three is where the capitulation actually occurs. First, a concrete decision to surrender has to be made. Second, this decision is total. It includes the will making conscious choices, and it affects one’s entire being and journey. Third, the whole person is placed in the care of God according to the individual faith background.
The spirituality of “Let go, let God” is a conversion process. Conversion of its nature has two basic movements: the surrendering of the compulsion, shame, and destructive addictive patterns which reduce freedom; the turning to the care of God and the Holy Spirit to be one’s permanent resources of wisdom and identity.
Matthew 11:28-30 speaks of a “letting go, letting God” process: “Come to me, all you who labor and are overburdened, and I will give you rest. Shoulder my yoke and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Yes, my yoke is easy and my burden light” (6). These three verses contain the confirmation signs that accompany a true surrender. A learning will occur, the process will be gentle and humble. Rest will be experienced. A new relationship arises, a companionship with the Master, which will be non addictive, easy, and light.
The Surrender of Ignatius of Loyola
Another way of surrendering one’s life to God comes from the spirituality of Ignatius’s surrender as expressed in his prayer the “Suscipe,” or “Take and Receive.” On his pilgrim journey Ignatius was called to surrender on several notable occasions. The first was during the defense of the city of Pamplona, Spain. In 1521 Ignatius, wounded by cannon shrapnel, reviewed the illusions of his life as sober death approached. But he did not die. His long convalescence became a conversion process. He gradually yielded up his stubborn self-preoccupation, bravado, and ambition and began to discover a new self in God (7).
The spirituality record of Ignatius’s surrender to God is found in his classic work, the Spiritual Exercises. Today, 450 years after its first published edition, it is still considered a significant theological work noted for its integration of Scripture, guidelines for discernment, sense of mission, and themes of justice. The Exercises’ developmental stages of growth in discipleship and intimacy enable a person to come home to God.
The last prayer of the Exercises is called the “Suscipe” or “Take and Receive.” I invite you to spend some time contemplating the components of the prayer. What is Ignatius, the once vain soldier-at-arms, now a mystic, asking us to do?
Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will - all that I have and call my own. You have given it all to me. To you, Lord, I return it. Everything is yours; do with it what you will. Give me only your love and your grace. That is enough for me (8).
The “Suscipe” is a deceptively profound prayer. It invites us to acknowledge the primacy of God in our totality; it answers the humbling question What aspect of our being is not a gift of God?” In the light of this answer, Ignatius invites us to surrender all to God. The last part of the prayer is a seeking of the purer gifts: “Give me only your love and grace. That is enough for me.” Ignatius does not compromise in the process of “letting go of self and letting God in.”
I recall a forceful experience in praying the “Suscipe.” It happened fifteen years ago during a retreat. I attempted to pray and could not. I realized I had not surrendered anything, certainly not my liberty, memory, understanding, and will to anyone, much less to God. I told my director that I could not pray this prayer at all. As a consequence, I seriously questioned remaining a Jesuit. The director gave me sage advice. He invited me to return to the chapel and pray the “Suscipe” with my own words in my own way.
I prayed, “Lord, I give you my sins which I know so well; those many areas of my life where I am not obedient, poor, and chaste. I give you my pride, my negativity, my hatred and vindictiveness, my compulsive rebellion and addictiveness to self. I am overtly familiar with these dark recesses. And I truly need to surrender these to you. Send forth your Holy Spirit to guide, anoint, and heal with a love that I am most in need of, your grace.”
Like an ambush, the opportunity to surrender can appear at unlikely moments. Do not let the occasion pass by. The benefit of letting God in always outweighs whatever is surrendered.
Jesus on the Cross
We turn to the spirituality of Jesus and the particular way he has taught us to surrender. He, too, had to face a special moment of surrender. His prayer in Luke 23:46 is a powerful expression of letting go: “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit” (9). Here on the cross Jesus is still the master teacher. He models for us how to pray and hand over our daily experiences and our life to God. Notice the key elements: (1) The prayer is addressed to the Father; (2) Jesus urges us to surrender, to commend, to let go; (3) Jesus specifies what is to be handed over. He gives what little is left, his spirit and last breath.
In the daily minor or major surrenders of our own pilgrimage, we can pray in the spirituality of either the twelve steps, Ignatius, or Jesus. Specify in the “Let go, let God” mantra and the “Suscipe” whatever needs are to be named and yielded: “Let go of addiction and manipulation. Let God in.” “Take, Lord, my dishonesty, my hurts, my doubts and sinfulness.” God can handle and work with these blighted areas quite well.
Adapt the prayer of Jesus to your immediate concerns: “Father, into your hands I commit my grief, my sense of failure, my disappointment, my pettiness and vulnerability….”Commend these regions of brokenness to the higher compassion and understanding of God.
It is clear that not only our joys but also our sorrows must be offered to God. Our ability to be powerless allows God to meet us and tenderly heal us on our journey, embracing us as we truly are. Moreover, the art of surrendering involves a lifelong process. Some days we succeed better than others. If we postpone learning the spirituality of surrender, we will face it unprepared at death, when the surrender is sudden. Perhaps we can learn to surrender to the care, to the heart, of God in advance
By John P. Mossi
Losing, whether it is losing a friendly bet, an important argument, or a business contract, is a difficult to swallow. We detest losing. The same is true for any diehard sports fan who endures a hometown rout. We walk away replaying the game, blaming the unfair referees , or creating strategies that “would have” favorably altered the score.
When the defeat entails greater stakes, there is higher resistance to a surrender. To address a serious problem like addiction is personally painful. Implicit in such reality is a pervasive sense of failure. One has lost control over life’s direction. The only way to regain control is to surrender what has not worked and seek a new way. This process is replete with difficulty.
This article will examine the spirituality of surrender as a means of coming home to God (1). Surrendering to God will be looked at in three ways. The first involves an understanding of how surrender is operative in twelve-step recovery programs like Alcoholics Anonymous. The second involves a look at the life of Ignatius of Loyola and the surrender components of the final prayer of the Spiritual Exercises, the “Suscipe,” or “Take and Receive.” The third considers Jesus’ act of surrender on the cross in Luke 23:46. Each of these three different “ways” of surrendering involves putting our ultimate identity and confidence in God.
LET GO, LET GOD
At Alcoholics Anonymous meetings or twelve-step recovery retreats, the expression “Let go, let God” is often used. These four important words constitute the core spirituality of A.A. and similar recovery programs that have adapted the twelve steps to their particular addiction. “Let go, let God” is an invitation to surrender one’s unmanageable life to God.
“Let go, let God” is a gentle conversion reminder, a kind of mantra, which assists us both to admit the addiction and to hand it over along with its various forms of compulsions to God. The long form of the prayer would be something like “Let go of alcohol (or whatever the specific substance or non substance addiction might be) and let the hand and grace of God guide my life.”
The prayer is not magic. Saying “Let go, let God” does not instantaneously bring about recovery. Its first purpose is to assist the recovering addict to keep the daily partnership task of surrendering the addiction to God. The second purpose of “Let go, let God” is to be a prayer of liberation, to call on the greater power of God to help one escape from destructive lifestyle patterns. In this way the creative resources of the individual and the action of God are focused on together. The prayer also serves to silence those addiction-related inner-committee tapes and voices of doubt, loneliness, fear, and caustic shame that can interfere with a person’s slow recovery. These, too, need to be handed over to God.
I have the greatest admiration for all who enter the surrender process of a twelve-step program. For many, it is the difference between death and life, the difference between barely existing as a human and participating in community, between dysfunctionalism and experiencing the serenity that only God gives with amazing grace.
The first three steps of Anonymous programs set up this “Let go let God” dynamic. The language of the twelve steps is straightforward and simple. This is part of their wisdom and wide appeal. The steps make sense to a lot of people. Since A.A. began in 1935 at Akron, Ohio, Anonymous recovery programs have multiplied to treat various forms of addiction (2). These include Narcotics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Gamblers Anonymous, Emotions Anonymous, Workaholics Anonymous, Sexaholics Anonymous, Al-Anon, and Adult Children of Alcoholics.
Let us examine these first three steps.
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol (or the other specific addiction) - that our lives had become unmanageable (3).
The first step is crucial. You admit you have a serious problem. There is no denial of the fact. The blunt reality is your life is out of control, in fact, unmanageable. Furthermore, you are powerless to do anything about it.
At Anonymous meetings, this first step is handled in an up front manner. When members speak, they state their first name and their addictiveness: “I’m John. I’m an alcoholic.” “I’m Susan. I’m a recovering overeater.” In formal religion we might refer to this acknowledgment as group confession. In recovery programs it is simply admitting what can no longer be denied. Step one is an honest, vulnerable beginning place. Owning and naming the unmanageable addiction is essential to the surrendering process. When one is aware of a specific uncontrollable disease, one can effectively pray “Let go.”
But to whom does one surrender? Steps two and three look at the second part of the mantra: “Let God.” God is the significant associate in restoring harmony. To appreciate the spirituality of the twelve steps, it is important to reflect that the existence and action of God are mentioned seven times in the twelve steps. The particular addiction is only mentioned once, and that is in the first step. The activity of surrendering one’s addiction and life to God becomes the spirituality cornerstone of the remaining steps.
2. We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity (4).
Step two admits the need of an outside corrective authority, a Higher Power, to bring about a stability in one’s life. This is the first glimpse of light that invites God in as the restorer of sanity.
There are two other important spirituality elements operative in the second step: 1. The belief that a Higher Wisdom exists and, 2. a disposition of humility on the part of the believer. These two qualities counter culturally work against the arrogance of the ego that craves to cling to the addiction. Step two indicates that the recovery process entails an attentive listening to a new Teacher, which means that the addict has to take on the attitude of learner. There is a major shift in trust: from addiction to God.
3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him (5).
Step three is where the capitulation actually occurs. First, a concrete decision to surrender has to be made. Second, this decision is total. It includes the will making conscious choices, and it affects one’s entire being and journey. Third, the whole person is placed in the care of God according to the individual faith background.
The spirituality of “Let go, let God” is a conversion process. Conversion of its nature has two basic movements: the surrendering of the compulsion, shame, and destructive addictive patterns which reduce freedom; the turning to the care of God and the Holy Spirit to be one’s permanent resources of wisdom and identity.
Matthew 11:28-30 speaks of a “letting go, letting God” process: “Come to me, all you who labor and are overburdened, and I will give you rest. Shoulder my yoke and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. Yes, my yoke is easy and my burden light” (6). These three verses contain the confirmation signs that accompany a true surrender. A learning will occur, the process will be gentle and humble. Rest will be experienced. A new relationship arises, a companionship with the Master, which will be non addictive, easy, and light.
The Surrender of Ignatius of Loyola
Another way of surrendering one’s life to God comes from the spirituality of Ignatius’s surrender as expressed in his prayer the “Suscipe,” or “Take and Receive.” On his pilgrim journey Ignatius was called to surrender on several notable occasions. The first was during the defense of the city of Pamplona, Spain. In 1521 Ignatius, wounded by cannon shrapnel, reviewed the illusions of his life as sober death approached. But he did not die. His long convalescence became a conversion process. He gradually yielded up his stubborn self-preoccupation, bravado, and ambition and began to discover a new self in God (7).
The spirituality record of Ignatius’s surrender to God is found in his classic work, the Spiritual Exercises. Today, 450 years after its first published edition, it is still considered a significant theological work noted for its integration of Scripture, guidelines for discernment, sense of mission, and themes of justice. The Exercises’ developmental stages of growth in discipleship and intimacy enable a person to come home to God.
The last prayer of the Exercises is called the “Suscipe” or “Take and Receive.” I invite you to spend some time contemplating the components of the prayer. What is Ignatius, the once vain soldier-at-arms, now a mystic, asking us to do?
Take, Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will - all that I have and call my own. You have given it all to me. To you, Lord, I return it. Everything is yours; do with it what you will. Give me only your love and your grace. That is enough for me (8).
The “Suscipe” is a deceptively profound prayer. It invites us to acknowledge the primacy of God in our totality; it answers the humbling question What aspect of our being is not a gift of God?” In the light of this answer, Ignatius invites us to surrender all to God. The last part of the prayer is a seeking of the purer gifts: “Give me only your love and grace. That is enough for me.” Ignatius does not compromise in the process of “letting go of self and letting God in.”
I recall a forceful experience in praying the “Suscipe.” It happened fifteen years ago during a retreat. I attempted to pray and could not. I realized I had not surrendered anything, certainly not my liberty, memory, understanding, and will to anyone, much less to God. I told my director that I could not pray this prayer at all. As a consequence, I seriously questioned remaining a Jesuit. The director gave me sage advice. He invited me to return to the chapel and pray the “Suscipe” with my own words in my own way.
I prayed, “Lord, I give you my sins which I know so well; those many areas of my life where I am not obedient, poor, and chaste. I give you my pride, my negativity, my hatred and vindictiveness, my compulsive rebellion and addictiveness to self. I am overtly familiar with these dark recesses. And I truly need to surrender these to you. Send forth your Holy Spirit to guide, anoint, and heal with a love that I am most in need of, your grace.”
Like an ambush, the opportunity to surrender can appear at unlikely moments. Do not let the occasion pass by. The benefit of letting God in always outweighs whatever is surrendered.
Jesus on the Cross
We turn to the spirituality of Jesus and the particular way he has taught us to surrender. He, too, had to face a special moment of surrender. His prayer in Luke 23:46 is a powerful expression of letting go: “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit” (9). Here on the cross Jesus is still the master teacher. He models for us how to pray and hand over our daily experiences and our life to God. Notice the key elements: (1) The prayer is addressed to the Father; (2) Jesus urges us to surrender, to commend, to let go; (3) Jesus specifies what is to be handed over. He gives what little is left, his spirit and last breath.
In the daily minor or major surrenders of our own pilgrimage, we can pray in the spirituality of either the twelve steps, Ignatius, or Jesus. Specify in the “Let go, let God” mantra and the “Suscipe” whatever needs are to be named and yielded: “Let go of addiction and manipulation. Let God in.” “Take, Lord, my dishonesty, my hurts, my doubts and sinfulness.” God can handle and work with these blighted areas quite well.
Adapt the prayer of Jesus to your immediate concerns: “Father, into your hands I commit my grief, my sense of failure, my disappointment, my pettiness and vulnerability….”Commend these regions of brokenness to the higher compassion and understanding of God.
It is clear that not only our joys but also our sorrows must be offered to God. Our ability to be powerless allows God to meet us and tenderly heal us on our journey, embracing us as we truly are. Moreover, the art of surrendering involves a lifelong process. Some days we succeed better than others. If we postpone learning the spirituality of surrender, we will face it unprepared at death, when the surrender is sudden. Perhaps we can learn to surrender to the care, to the heart, of God in advance
Friday, December 3, 2010
Smell the roses or is it Pine
How is everybody today? Good. I hope. You know I have a dear friend and that question, is her pet peeve. Did you ever notice how often we are greeted by this comment, as a way of greeting? Most people ask expecting a one word or short sentence answer. Most people if you really expound on the answer are stopped in their tracks, they weren’t really expecting a real answer. This is what her issue was with this kind of greeting. Don’t ask if you really do not want to hear the answer, especially if you do not have the time to sit down and really hear and possibly discuss the answer. Well when I heard her say this I had to think about it. You know the more I thought about the more I began to see her point. Even that she was not in a good mood when she told me this she had a few issues cropping up in her life at the time. To say this or use it as a greeting, and not being prepared to spend the time and the effort to here a truthful and expanded answer. All I was doing was doing an old behaviour; I’m feigning interest in that particular person. I’m not being real or genuine.
Anyways I spent a lot of the day digging out Christmas decorations, and putting up the tree, the outside lights, and a few trimmings and lights on the tree. I didn’t put on the ornaments and the nativity scene though as I save that for us to do as a family. However our outside lights have a music box with them that plays a couple of carols with them. As I was sitting having a cigarette and coffee (admiring my work) outside listening to the Christmas music. I got one of those nice contented—“everything is good in my world” feelings you know just feeling happy contented and at peace. It just reminded me, that no matter what is going on in your life. That just sitting back, occasionally and taking a break from life to smell the roses and be grateful for what is in your life. Can be quite refreshing and beneficial to the soul.
Remember God does not create garbage
Anyways I spent a lot of the day digging out Christmas decorations, and putting up the tree, the outside lights, and a few trimmings and lights on the tree. I didn’t put on the ornaments and the nativity scene though as I save that for us to do as a family. However our outside lights have a music box with them that plays a couple of carols with them. As I was sitting having a cigarette and coffee (admiring my work) outside listening to the Christmas music. I got one of those nice contented—“everything is good in my world” feelings you know just feeling happy contented and at peace. It just reminded me, that no matter what is going on in your life. That just sitting back, occasionally and taking a break from life to smell the roses and be grateful for what is in your life. Can be quite refreshing and beneficial to the soul.
Remember God does not create garbage
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Everybody Deserve a Chance or Two or more
You Know sometimes in our recovery, or at least mine there are times when my mind becomes shut again. In some things I lose that open mind, which is so valuable and needed in continuous growth. After some clean and sober time, you learn things, you know things. However I always have to remember that there is always more to be learned, and that my learning is not the be all and know all of a given topic. Case in point, while I was pondering on what I was going to write for today’s blog, I was researching my upcoming Recovery coach business and I wandered upon an article/blog from a fellow recovery coach. She was going on about don’t waste her time with BS, that she was only interested in serious clients and that was that. That was the basic idea of the blog, I found myself agreeing and thinking of adding to my other site those ideas, in the form of something like only serious enquiries; don’t waste your money, your time, My time when I can be helping someone who really wants it. I was really brainstorming with this, and was starting to edit another site of mine for recovery experts. As I was thinking of how to write something along these lines for this site. I was remembering how God introduced me to recovery.
Once again God was teaching me. This time on how easy it is to become opinionated, close minded and heartless. All while attempting to be giving and caring, because that is why I do all this. How FREAKIN ARROGANT of me to deny the idea of recovery to anyone, or decide who is allowed to recover or receive what I may have to give. Sometimes we are not in the business of recovery, per se, sometimes we are in the business of seed planting!
Here I reflect on my own humble beginnings in recovery. I was first introduced to A.A. in 1985 or so. Back while I was in prison. I really don’t remember much of anything or even what A.A. really was. All I knew was it got me out of my cell got me seeing other people sometimes even women; there was free coffee and donuts. There were a few of my cronies as we’d sit in the back ogle the women, talk trash and scarf down donuts and coffee. I was told they’d give me a letter or something for my file for the parole board. It would look good and the parole board always liked this stuff when deciding if they would give you parole. That and the old blue signs {the 12 steps and the 12 traditions (not the white ones they have now)} at the front is all I really remember. Even though I really didn’t hear the message consciously. However sub consciously I like to think the seed was planted. I believe it made it easier when I finally did get here. Then even when I did get here, through no genius of my own. I only Got here looking for “three hots and a cot”. One of the reasons I’m glad they took the honest desire part out and replaced with a desire. For when I got here, I only had a desire for three hots and a cot. That and perhaps better luck and/or an even break.
Then even after the fog starting to lift, and I started to hear the message, and I started getting it. I went out and relapsed. So yes everybody deserves a chance, sometimes more than one.
Remember God does not create garbage
Once again God was teaching me. This time on how easy it is to become opinionated, close minded and heartless. All while attempting to be giving and caring, because that is why I do all this. How FREAKIN ARROGANT of me to deny the idea of recovery to anyone, or decide who is allowed to recover or receive what I may have to give. Sometimes we are not in the business of recovery, per se, sometimes we are in the business of seed planting!
Here I reflect on my own humble beginnings in recovery. I was first introduced to A.A. in 1985 or so. Back while I was in prison. I really don’t remember much of anything or even what A.A. really was. All I knew was it got me out of my cell got me seeing other people sometimes even women; there was free coffee and donuts. There were a few of my cronies as we’d sit in the back ogle the women, talk trash and scarf down donuts and coffee. I was told they’d give me a letter or something for my file for the parole board. It would look good and the parole board always liked this stuff when deciding if they would give you parole. That and the old blue signs {the 12 steps and the 12 traditions (not the white ones they have now)} at the front is all I really remember. Even though I really didn’t hear the message consciously. However sub consciously I like to think the seed was planted. I believe it made it easier when I finally did get here. Then even when I did get here, through no genius of my own. I only Got here looking for “three hots and a cot”. One of the reasons I’m glad they took the honest desire part out and replaced with a desire. For when I got here, I only had a desire for three hots and a cot. That and perhaps better luck and/or an even break.
Then even after the fog starting to lift, and I started to hear the message, and I started getting it. I went out and relapsed. So yes everybody deserves a chance, sometimes more than one.
Remember God does not create garbage
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