Denial is not the river in Egypt. It is a tool that you have developed and mastered over the years to protect your addiction. D.E.N.I.A.L Don’t Even kNow I Am Lying.
“We have troubles because we refuse to grow up.” Said the master. “How will we know when we have grown up?” asked the student. “When we no longer need to be lied to.” Replied the master.
Now that you have reached recovery, means that you don’t need or want to continue to lie to yourself, that is if you truly want real recovery. Denial was your escape from responsibility and reality, your own little fantasy world. It was lying to yourself, telling yourself, everything is fine, you are in control, there is no problem. Denial keeps you from the truth of your life and situation. A spiritual reality is when we experience the truth; from there you can change and transform your life.
For many of us our addiction seems to have a personality and a voice all its own. For example, most of us feel and behave differently in different areas of our lives. Such as work, in the classroom, with our parents, with our kids, on a date, with our spouse or partner ETC...We teach our children that it is wrong to lie, and they should always tell the truth, no matter what. Then we lie to our boss, lie on our taxes, even to our own parents. It is as if we several different personalities existing in our consciousness. One of these is our addiction; it has a life and a voice as well. And to stay alive and well it creates its own stories and lies to us. In essence it tells us we are fine and do not have a problem, when our life is falling apart, just so we can keep doing what we’re doing. This is denial in action.
To recover from addiction we need to recognize our denial. We need to see the truth of our lives and stop lying to ourselves. Denial is a protective mechanism. It is a defence to keep us from the pain of facing the truth about our addiction. It keeps us from seeing our powerlessness as well as the consequences and unmanageability of our addiction. If we choose not to see the truth, our addiction can continue to destroy our lie.
Denial comes in many forms; everybody suffers from denial, not just those with addictions. If you are human you have denial about something. Denial protects us from the pain, the pain from facing the reality of our own unhealthy or wrongful behaviours. However as those with addictions, to keep our denial is to die. Not only do we fail to see what it is doing to us, it creates havoc and pain for all who come in contact with us. We need to recognize our own denial and the forms it takes. In doing so we can loosen the grip addictions has on our lives and replace it with truth, acceptance and recovery.
We have used denial in many forms , such as simply denying, minimizing, rationalizing, blaming, bargaining, intellectualizing, diversion, passivity, hostility and just plain old excuses,. We have used these forms of denial and/or behaviours to avoid the truth about our addiction. Now you need to recognize where and when you have used these forms and/or behaviours, which are your favourites. So that you can see your truth, and recover.
Remember God does not create garbage
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Monday, January 31, 2011
The H.O.W. it works, of the Program
You know it’s kind of funny actually, when you think about it. We usually come into the fellowship and the meetings, because our lives are a mess. Yet here we are, and one of the first things we want to know is how does this work, firstly because we have very little if any trust in anything, and we want to see what kind of weird stuff we gotten ourselves into this time. Secondly we want to know how it works so we can dissect it and tell you why this will not work for me, or we want to dissect it take out all the unnecessary stuff, so that we kind find the short cuts (easier softer way) and get out of here as fast as possible and/or we are going to change it and make it better, because “don’t you know who I am”. After awhile we look back at this stage and smile and shake our heads.
The H.O.W. of the program or as I like to put it the W.H.O. of the program is twofold. The first part is the who? And the who is you, you are the one who’s life is falling apart and needs to listen and follow directions, who doesn’t know crap about how to fix their life, don’t deny it otherwise you would not be in the meetings and/or reading this. Let us get honest right from the get go, no one of us goes to a meeting for the first time and wants to find out about the meetings, fellowship and program because their life is great, we all came the first time because our lives were falling apart and thought just maybe I might find some help or you were sent by the courts and your life is really going downhill. No one comes for the first time saying,” YAHOO I finally reached A.A., N.A. C.A. or whatever ?.A. .
The second part is for what each individual letter in W.H.O., W> stands for WILLINGNESS, the willingness to do whatever it takes to get your life back. The willingness to listen, the willingness to take suggestions, the willingness to take action on those suggestions, the willingness to face the second letter H> Honesty and the willingness to get honest. To get honest first and foremost about and with yourself, to be willing to actually see and admit firstly to yourself the truth about your life and yourself. Then to work towards being totally honest with others. And to have the willingness to have an open mind, on everything you will hear, on the suggestion you will be given, on your judgement of yourself and others. On All your preconceived notions and beliefs.
This is the beginning of how it works, It is hard to change these things overnight, it will take perseverance on your part and work, however as you begin to adopt these principles you will come to hear about and be directed and drawn to the actual program, That being the 12 steps and this is truly how it works, through the practice and adoption of these steps your Willingness, Honesty and Open-mindedness will grow and in proportion your life will improve.
Remember God does not create garbage
The H.O.W. of the program or as I like to put it the W.H.O. of the program is twofold. The first part is the who? And the who is you, you are the one who’s life is falling apart and needs to listen and follow directions, who doesn’t know crap about how to fix their life, don’t deny it otherwise you would not be in the meetings and/or reading this. Let us get honest right from the get go, no one of us goes to a meeting for the first time and wants to find out about the meetings, fellowship and program because their life is great, we all came the first time because our lives were falling apart and thought just maybe I might find some help or you were sent by the courts and your life is really going downhill. No one comes for the first time saying,” YAHOO I finally reached A.A., N.A. C.A. or whatever ?.A. .
The second part is for what each individual letter in W.H.O., W> stands for WILLINGNESS, the willingness to do whatever it takes to get your life back. The willingness to listen, the willingness to take suggestions, the willingness to take action on those suggestions, the willingness to face the second letter H> Honesty and the willingness to get honest. To get honest first and foremost about and with yourself, to be willing to actually see and admit firstly to yourself the truth about your life and yourself. Then to work towards being totally honest with others. And to have the willingness to have an open mind, on everything you will hear, on the suggestion you will be given, on your judgement of yourself and others. On All your preconceived notions and beliefs.
This is the beginning of how it works, It is hard to change these things overnight, it will take perseverance on your part and work, however as you begin to adopt these principles you will come to hear about and be directed and drawn to the actual program, That being the 12 steps and this is truly how it works, through the practice and adoption of these steps your Willingness, Honesty and Open-mindedness will grow and in proportion your life will improve.
Remember God does not create garbage
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Life's hard times
There is no doubt, that at times life seems very hard and unfair, sometimes even to the point of unbearable. To say the least life is challenging. Through the ages there is much poignant euphuism about this very fact.
Life can be hard and dangerous;
Those who seek happiness may find sorrow;
Those who seek peace may find strive:
Those who seek love may find disappointment;
Joy comes to those who do not fear solitude;
Life comes to those not afraid to die’
Joyce Cary
Life is not a matter of holding good cards
But sometimes, of playing a poor hand well.
Robert Louis Stevenson
It seems that the fact is that life is a challenge, or as some say a “school for the soul”, No matter what your belief is the fact remains that life has its rainy days, its sunny days and its stormy days, as well as everything in between. Life is like a ship at sea, sometimes the sailing is smooth and comfortable, were we are guided by the stars and a clear compass. At other times we feel lost, cut adrift, seemingly lost. It is then that we must batten down the hatches and trim the sails and stay the course in hope of staying afloat. And then even the most experienced sailors may get blown off course, or worse, swamped and perhaps even sunk. That is life. No matter how masterful and experienced you may become, the storms of life are unavoidable. However this is not what makes a life or the person, what makes the life and the person is our reaction to and courage in the face of the storm and its aftermath.
It is said that if it doesn’t kill you it makes you stronger, this is only if you choose it to be so. There are many that life has beaten down, and they choose to remain beaten and wallow in the pain. Yes it is a choice. Life can be hard and unfair and sometimes it seems that some seem to have far more than others to weather. However again I say it is a choice to stay beaten or to pick yourself up and keep on keeping on. This is the true measure of a life. It takes a great deal of courage to pick oneself up and continue.
Courage is like a muscle, we strengthen it with use. RUTH GORDON
Sometimes we turn to God, when our foundations are shaking
Only to find it is God who is shaking them
Anonymous
The point seems to be that when life is hunky dory, and we are comfortable and gliding along, things are simple and easy, however not much is truly accomplished and/or learned. Yet when an adversity comes we get more active and alert. And if not during, certainly after we are able to learn and grow; IF WE SO CHOOSE. This is we acquire wisdom and the ability and resources to be of help and assistance to our fellows.
As Saint Augustine is quoted; “pray not for a lighter load, But for stronger shoulders”
We pray and demand a lot of our God; we constantly ask of, however I truly believe that in doing so I have to be very careful and specific. For usually I have found that my God rarely just hands me my wants, He gives me ways to learn how to accomplish said wants.
Life therefore is not about the storms or difficulties we may encounter in our journey. It is in how we choose to weather the storms, and how we live in the wake of the storms of life that truly measures one’s life.
Remember God does not create garbage
Life can be hard and dangerous;
Those who seek happiness may find sorrow;
Those who seek peace may find strive:
Those who seek love may find disappointment;
Joy comes to those who do not fear solitude;
Life comes to those not afraid to die’
Joyce Cary
Life is not a matter of holding good cards
But sometimes, of playing a poor hand well.
Robert Louis Stevenson
It seems that the fact is that life is a challenge, or as some say a “school for the soul”, No matter what your belief is the fact remains that life has its rainy days, its sunny days and its stormy days, as well as everything in between. Life is like a ship at sea, sometimes the sailing is smooth and comfortable, were we are guided by the stars and a clear compass. At other times we feel lost, cut adrift, seemingly lost. It is then that we must batten down the hatches and trim the sails and stay the course in hope of staying afloat. And then even the most experienced sailors may get blown off course, or worse, swamped and perhaps even sunk. That is life. No matter how masterful and experienced you may become, the storms of life are unavoidable. However this is not what makes a life or the person, what makes the life and the person is our reaction to and courage in the face of the storm and its aftermath.
It is said that if it doesn’t kill you it makes you stronger, this is only if you choose it to be so. There are many that life has beaten down, and they choose to remain beaten and wallow in the pain. Yes it is a choice. Life can be hard and unfair and sometimes it seems that some seem to have far more than others to weather. However again I say it is a choice to stay beaten or to pick yourself up and keep on keeping on. This is the true measure of a life. It takes a great deal of courage to pick oneself up and continue.
Courage is like a muscle, we strengthen it with use. RUTH GORDON
Sometimes we turn to God, when our foundations are shaking
Only to find it is God who is shaking them
Anonymous
The point seems to be that when life is hunky dory, and we are comfortable and gliding along, things are simple and easy, however not much is truly accomplished and/or learned. Yet when an adversity comes we get more active and alert. And if not during, certainly after we are able to learn and grow; IF WE SO CHOOSE. This is we acquire wisdom and the ability and resources to be of help and assistance to our fellows.
As Saint Augustine is quoted; “pray not for a lighter load, But for stronger shoulders”
We pray and demand a lot of our God; we constantly ask of, however I truly believe that in doing so I have to be very careful and specific. For usually I have found that my God rarely just hands me my wants, He gives me ways to learn how to accomplish said wants.
Life therefore is not about the storms or difficulties we may encounter in our journey. It is in how we choose to weather the storms, and how we live in the wake of the storms of life that truly measures one’s life.
Remember God does not create garbage
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Revisiting Step Two
Not long ago we revisited Step One, only reasonable to now revisit Step Two.
“Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity”
Step two , again as stated in revisiting Step One , we had been suggested to “put pen to paper” now doing so in Step two is again quite advantageous and very helpful, especially to get over the indignation that this step can bring up for the alcoholic and/or addict. Most of us alcoholics and/or addicts, immediately rail at the mention of a higher power. First off it sets off the ego, and then we realize that in actuality they are using higher power to bring up the God stuff, which is a whole other kettle of fish. Then after a bit we notice the end part and really take offence, restore us to sanity. How dare you imply that I’m insane we retort
At this point it was the reassurances from a sponsor, my support system and recovery coach that got me pat my affronts and down to work, “pen to paper” on step two.
And this work was the catalyst that again as in Step One, helped me see through the illusions into reality. It first off had me see “powers that indeed had more “power” than myself starting with things such as, nature, the wind, water, the Government, police ETC.... Gradually leading to the possibilities of a God. Then with the reminder of Step One and more “pen to Paper” showed me, as in the first part again in my own words in black and white, breaking down the denial and fantasy. That the way I had lived and my repeated behaviours were not those of a person thinking rationally and/or sanely.
So once again the aspect of “pen to paper” was having the affect of allowing me to learn from my own words the folly of my past. It also gradually was teaching me a little humility. Bit by bit, lowering the ego and leading to a place where I could learn more, by slowly changing my perceptions, attitude, thinking and behaviour. All the while allowing me to learn for myself, thus empowering me at the same time.
A few excerpts from noted recovery resources;
Therefore, Step Two is the rallying point for all of us. Whether agnostic, atheist, or former believer, we can stand together on this Step. True humility and an open mind can lead us to faith, and every A.A. meeting is an assurance that God will restore us to sanity if we rightly relate ourselves to Him.
- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 33
Through believing that a Higher Power can help, a man or a woman formerly eaten up with raging fear, anger, shame, doubt, guilt, and frustration may become calm and begin to grow spiritually by focusing on doing some simple steps, going to meetings, reading the Big Book, and talking to a sponsor. This person is not alone; there are other caring brothers and sisters who really do understand because they are dealing with the same problems the newcomer has. The simple act of believing that a Higher Power can restore us to sanity leads us into a family and into a new life where we can begin to see and experience a little sanity.
- A Hunger for Healing, p. 35
The process of coming to believe is something that we seem to experience in similar ways. One thing most of us lacked was a working relationship with a Higher Power. We begin to develop this relationship by simply admitting to the possibility of a Power greater than ourselves. Most of us have no trouble admitting that addiction had become a destructive force in our lives. Our best efforts resulted in ever greater destruction and despair. At some point we realized we needed the help of some Power greater than our addiction. Our understanding of a Higher Power is up to us. No one is going to decide for us. We can call it the group, the program, or we can call it God. The only suggested guidelines are that this Power be loving, caring and greater than ourselves. We don't have to be religious to accept this idea. The point is that we open our minds to believe. We may have difficulty with this, but by keeping an open mind, sooner or later, we find the help we need.
- Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text, Chapter 4/Step 2
The Step 2 phrase "came to believe" suggests a process and a progression of faith that evolves over time. A portion of A.A.'s oral tradition defines this as a three-part unfolding: First, we came, that is, we showed up and stumbled in the door. Second, we came to, that is, we sobered up, came to our senses, and began to experience emotional sobriety. Third, we came to believe. We began our real recovery process and our spiritual growth.
- Serenity, A Companion for Twelve Step Recovery, p. 29
When, therefore, we speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God. This applies, too, to other spiritual expressions which you find in this book. Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you. At the start, this was all we needed to commence spiritual growth, to effect our first conscious relation with God as we understood Him. Afterward, we found ourselves accepting many things which then seemed entirely out of reach. That was growth, but if we wished to grow we had to begin somewhere. So we used our own conception, however limited it was. We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. - "Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?" As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way. It has been repeatedly proven among us that upon this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built.
-A.A. Big Book p.47
Remember God does not create garbage
“Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity”
Step two , again as stated in revisiting Step One , we had been suggested to “put pen to paper” now doing so in Step two is again quite advantageous and very helpful, especially to get over the indignation that this step can bring up for the alcoholic and/or addict. Most of us alcoholics and/or addicts, immediately rail at the mention of a higher power. First off it sets off the ego, and then we realize that in actuality they are using higher power to bring up the God stuff, which is a whole other kettle of fish. Then after a bit we notice the end part and really take offence, restore us to sanity. How dare you imply that I’m insane we retort
At this point it was the reassurances from a sponsor, my support system and recovery coach that got me pat my affronts and down to work, “pen to paper” on step two.
And this work was the catalyst that again as in Step One, helped me see through the illusions into reality. It first off had me see “powers that indeed had more “power” than myself starting with things such as, nature, the wind, water, the Government, police ETC.... Gradually leading to the possibilities of a God. Then with the reminder of Step One and more “pen to Paper” showed me, as in the first part again in my own words in black and white, breaking down the denial and fantasy. That the way I had lived and my repeated behaviours were not those of a person thinking rationally and/or sanely.
So once again the aspect of “pen to paper” was having the affect of allowing me to learn from my own words the folly of my past. It also gradually was teaching me a little humility. Bit by bit, lowering the ego and leading to a place where I could learn more, by slowly changing my perceptions, attitude, thinking and behaviour. All the while allowing me to learn for myself, thus empowering me at the same time.
A few excerpts from noted recovery resources;
Therefore, Step Two is the rallying point for all of us. Whether agnostic, atheist, or former believer, we can stand together on this Step. True humility and an open mind can lead us to faith, and every A.A. meeting is an assurance that God will restore us to sanity if we rightly relate ourselves to Him.
- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 33
Through believing that a Higher Power can help, a man or a woman formerly eaten up with raging fear, anger, shame, doubt, guilt, and frustration may become calm and begin to grow spiritually by focusing on doing some simple steps, going to meetings, reading the Big Book, and talking to a sponsor. This person is not alone; there are other caring brothers and sisters who really do understand because they are dealing with the same problems the newcomer has. The simple act of believing that a Higher Power can restore us to sanity leads us into a family and into a new life where we can begin to see and experience a little sanity.
- A Hunger for Healing, p. 35
The process of coming to believe is something that we seem to experience in similar ways. One thing most of us lacked was a working relationship with a Higher Power. We begin to develop this relationship by simply admitting to the possibility of a Power greater than ourselves. Most of us have no trouble admitting that addiction had become a destructive force in our lives. Our best efforts resulted in ever greater destruction and despair. At some point we realized we needed the help of some Power greater than our addiction. Our understanding of a Higher Power is up to us. No one is going to decide for us. We can call it the group, the program, or we can call it God. The only suggested guidelines are that this Power be loving, caring and greater than ourselves. We don't have to be religious to accept this idea. The point is that we open our minds to believe. We may have difficulty with this, but by keeping an open mind, sooner or later, we find the help we need.
- Narcotics Anonymous Basic Text, Chapter 4/Step 2
The Step 2 phrase "came to believe" suggests a process and a progression of faith that evolves over time. A portion of A.A.'s oral tradition defines this as a three-part unfolding: First, we came, that is, we showed up and stumbled in the door. Second, we came to, that is, we sobered up, came to our senses, and began to experience emotional sobriety. Third, we came to believe. We began our real recovery process and our spiritual growth.
- Serenity, A Companion for Twelve Step Recovery, p. 29
When, therefore, we speak to you of God, we mean your own conception of God. This applies, too, to other spiritual expressions which you find in this book. Do not let any prejudice you may have against spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself what they mean to you. At the start, this was all we needed to commence spiritual growth, to effect our first conscious relation with God as we understood Him. Afterward, we found ourselves accepting many things which then seemed entirely out of reach. That was growth, but if we wished to grow we had to begin somewhere. So we used our own conception, however limited it was. We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. - "Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?" As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way. It has been repeatedly proven among us that upon this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built.
-A.A. Big Book p.47
Remember God does not create garbage
Friday, January 28, 2011
How to be thankful for your life
Just imagine. Imagine as if you could live every day as a miracle. Imagine if you could wake up and no matter what your day brings, you could go through your day saying, "Thank you Spirit! Thank you God!" Thanks for this opportunity to learn once more how to open my heart. Thank you for the opportunity to dare to love those who I was afraid to love, found it difficult to love, wanted to love but didn't know how. Thank you for the opportunity to love and discover more about being loved in return.
You in the airport or on the freeway.... thank you for the opportunity to practice patience, to offer a smile, to encounter the limitations within myself that keep my heart frozen and blocked from revealing all the love that I am, and taking in all the love I can receive.
You in my family... despite all the pain and hurt we have shared together, thank you for the opportunity to practice forgiveness, to replace my fears with love, to learn discernment, to see you more clearly, to know how to be with you in a safe space, where we can learn to be more conscious and open together.
You in another country... thank you for being different from me, for teaching me to be less self-absorbed in my own view of the world, to discover how varied human kind is, and how to love others fully and clearly in an attempt to understand and learn how to be with different points of view.
You all alone... out there somewhere believing no one cares. Thank you for helping me remember that you are there. Knowing this I can send you my love, and wish for you that you will reach beyond fear finding those who care.
You who are in pain or suffering... thank you for reminding me about compassion. That I am here not only to receive, but to give. Thank you for teaching me the limits of my capacity to love, so that I may open my heart and expand my ability to embrace you even more. For in embracing you and helping you heal, I heal myself. Because we are one, all one, in our joys and our sorrows.
You who I have harmed... thank you for revealing to me my shadow, all those nooks and crannies of ignorance I thought I had gone beyond. Thank you for showing me all the ways I need to grow. And, to those of you who found it in your hearts to forgive me, thank you for that act of grace, as I also attempt to shed that grace upon myself.
You who are in celebration and joy... thank you for reminding me about the essence and true nature of life. Thank you for waking me up and reminding me that life is precious. So let us all wake up and embrace the day to see what it has to offer. Thank you for reminding me life is too short for bad moods, and all things go better when we simply remember to find joy in life and smile at one another.
You who love... you are the reason for living. Thank you for the friendship, kindness, inspiration, and shear delight you bring into my life. Your courageous act of keeping your hearts open help heal this world. For you reveal that love is not scarce, it exists in an abundance.
You... Spirit... Divine... God... Energy... Life! You are all that is, in all your wonderous displays. Sometimes confusing, but always revealing the fundamental truth.... we are one. I am you, you are me. As we learn to consciously embrace the miracle of life, and lovingly dissolve the barriers that prevent us from seeing the essence we all are... then love bursts forth!
So, thank you.... thank you... thank you... this day, every day, every moment.
Remember God does not create garbage
You in the airport or on the freeway.... thank you for the opportunity to practice patience, to offer a smile, to encounter the limitations within myself that keep my heart frozen and blocked from revealing all the love that I am, and taking in all the love I can receive.
You in my family... despite all the pain and hurt we have shared together, thank you for the opportunity to practice forgiveness, to replace my fears with love, to learn discernment, to see you more clearly, to know how to be with you in a safe space, where we can learn to be more conscious and open together.
You in another country... thank you for being different from me, for teaching me to be less self-absorbed in my own view of the world, to discover how varied human kind is, and how to love others fully and clearly in an attempt to understand and learn how to be with different points of view.
You all alone... out there somewhere believing no one cares. Thank you for helping me remember that you are there. Knowing this I can send you my love, and wish for you that you will reach beyond fear finding those who care.
You who are in pain or suffering... thank you for reminding me about compassion. That I am here not only to receive, but to give. Thank you for teaching me the limits of my capacity to love, so that I may open my heart and expand my ability to embrace you even more. For in embracing you and helping you heal, I heal myself. Because we are one, all one, in our joys and our sorrows.
You who I have harmed... thank you for revealing to me my shadow, all those nooks and crannies of ignorance I thought I had gone beyond. Thank you for showing me all the ways I need to grow. And, to those of you who found it in your hearts to forgive me, thank you for that act of grace, as I also attempt to shed that grace upon myself.
You who are in celebration and joy... thank you for reminding me about the essence and true nature of life. Thank you for waking me up and reminding me that life is precious. So let us all wake up and embrace the day to see what it has to offer. Thank you for reminding me life is too short for bad moods, and all things go better when we simply remember to find joy in life and smile at one another.
You who love... you are the reason for living. Thank you for the friendship, kindness, inspiration, and shear delight you bring into my life. Your courageous act of keeping your hearts open help heal this world. For you reveal that love is not scarce, it exists in an abundance.
You... Spirit... Divine... God... Energy... Life! You are all that is, in all your wonderous displays. Sometimes confusing, but always revealing the fundamental truth.... we are one. I am you, you are me. As we learn to consciously embrace the miracle of life, and lovingly dissolve the barriers that prevent us from seeing the essence we all are... then love bursts forth!
So, thank you.... thank you... thank you... this day, every day, every moment.
Remember God does not create garbage
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
As Obama would say YES YOU CAN
What would you like to have?
What would you like to do?
What would you like to be?
Yes, what is it?
Now, whatever you said, what's stopping you?
Why don't you have it? Why don't you do it? Why don't you be it?
Put yourself on the spot, what is it? Be brutally honest with yourself. Do you really want that? Sometimes we think we want something and then when we really get right down to it, it isn't that important to us. You may have already seen that when you've released on goals. What you thought was something you just must have, you find out, after releasing on the goal for awhile, that maybe you really don't want it at all.
So let's get that out of the way, because there is something you definitely would like to have, do or be. What is it and why isn't it yours? Check right now. What's your block? What's standing in your way?
Is it because there's an "I can't" thought? "I can't do it. I can't have it. I can't be it." Then the many assorted excuses follow: I can't because, not enough money, not enough time, no one to help me, it might not work out anyway, too old, too young, not enough education, too much education, don't know how, don't know who, don't know where to start, don't have what it takes, haven't done it yet so probably won't do it now, it's too late… That's only a partial list. We humans can get very creative about our "I cant's." What is it for you?
I can't because ____________________.
You know, that behind any "I can't" is, ‘I won't." And behind the, "I won't" is fear. Check that for yourself right now. It's the fear that blocks you. Fear is just a feeling and you can let it go. In fact, you must let it go or you'll stay stuck there in fear forever and never be able to move into having, doing or being.
What does it take to attain the objects of your dreams? It begins with an attitude of, "I can. I can do it. I can have it. I can be it."
Notice the difference in energy?
Try it. Say, "I can't" four times. Now, say, "I can" four times. Notice, "I can't" is weak energy? Notice it's low energy? Notice it has a pathetic feel to it. Notice there's a despairing, defeated, forlorn feeling behind, "I can't?"
How about when you say, "I can?" Now how does that feel? It feels much better doesn't it? Does the word, "Yes," come to mind when you say, "I can?" Does "I can" feel bold? Does "I can" have power to it? Does "I can" feel like a strong energy? Does it feel like a high energy?
What's more, when you say, "I can," do you notice that it's a done deal? When you say, "I can do it," game over. It's done. Yes, you might have to carry out the steps to finish it. But it's done when you say, "I can." When you say, "I can have it," notice, it's a fait accompli. You have it. Notice the feeling that the universe is behind you organizing all the pieces and parts when you say, "I can do it."
When you say, "I can," you are setting in motion the remarkable power of Courageousness. Can you feel that power? When you say, "I can," you are in Courageousness. And no one or nothing can stop you. Courageousness is power-packed energy that says, "It is done."
Courageousness opens the door to Acceptance. "I can do it. I can have it. I can be it." Notice the Acceptance. Courageously saying, "I can," automatically moves you into acceptance. And right behind Acceptance, Peace. When you move into Acceptance, Peace flows in and envelops you like the warm sunshine. Do you notice that?
When you make the decision, "I can," you're in Courageousness. There's no doubt. There's no questioning. There are no excuses. There is no wanting. When you move into "I can," the Courageousness energy, there is Acceptance that's it's all done, and there's Peace, because the mental racket attached to "I can't" is all gone.
And as Lester Levenson says, "Everything falls perfectly into line."
You get into Courageousness, the "I can do it, I can have it, I can be it" energy by releasing. You mentally dive into those feelings. You find out what's hiding-out in there and you let it go. You bring whatever thoughts or feelings you find in your way to wanting approval, wanting control or wanting to be safe and you let them go. The Third Way to Release: Immediately see all your feelings culminate in wanting approval, wanting control or wanting to be safe. And immediately let go of wanting approval, wanting control or wanting to be safe.
Momentum is the key that unlocks the door to maximizing your releasing. With momentum you live your life in full time, all the time Courageousness.
The Release Technique® offers you so many ways to power up your Momentum. Keep your momentum at a high level, and dwell in the energy of Courageousness. The best way to spike your Momentum is the Seven Day Retreats. Why not go to the next Seven Day Retreat? What's the hold back? What is the, "I can't?" Move into, "I can." Test it. Check it out for yourself. When you decide, "I can. I can do it," you're in Courageousness and the universe revs up your engine and nothing can stop you. Find out for yourself.
Can you do it? It's a decision. Yes you can.
Remember God does not create garbage
What would you like to do?
What would you like to be?
Yes, what is it?
Now, whatever you said, what's stopping you?
Why don't you have it? Why don't you do it? Why don't you be it?
Put yourself on the spot, what is it? Be brutally honest with yourself. Do you really want that? Sometimes we think we want something and then when we really get right down to it, it isn't that important to us. You may have already seen that when you've released on goals. What you thought was something you just must have, you find out, after releasing on the goal for awhile, that maybe you really don't want it at all.
So let's get that out of the way, because there is something you definitely would like to have, do or be. What is it and why isn't it yours? Check right now. What's your block? What's standing in your way?
Is it because there's an "I can't" thought? "I can't do it. I can't have it. I can't be it." Then the many assorted excuses follow: I can't because, not enough money, not enough time, no one to help me, it might not work out anyway, too old, too young, not enough education, too much education, don't know how, don't know who, don't know where to start, don't have what it takes, haven't done it yet so probably won't do it now, it's too late… That's only a partial list. We humans can get very creative about our "I cant's." What is it for you?
I can't because ____________________.
You know, that behind any "I can't" is, ‘I won't." And behind the, "I won't" is fear. Check that for yourself right now. It's the fear that blocks you. Fear is just a feeling and you can let it go. In fact, you must let it go or you'll stay stuck there in fear forever and never be able to move into having, doing or being.
What does it take to attain the objects of your dreams? It begins with an attitude of, "I can. I can do it. I can have it. I can be it."
Notice the difference in energy?
Try it. Say, "I can't" four times. Now, say, "I can" four times. Notice, "I can't" is weak energy? Notice it's low energy? Notice it has a pathetic feel to it. Notice there's a despairing, defeated, forlorn feeling behind, "I can't?"
How about when you say, "I can?" Now how does that feel? It feels much better doesn't it? Does the word, "Yes," come to mind when you say, "I can?" Does "I can" feel bold? Does "I can" have power to it? Does "I can" feel like a strong energy? Does it feel like a high energy?
What's more, when you say, "I can," do you notice that it's a done deal? When you say, "I can do it," game over. It's done. Yes, you might have to carry out the steps to finish it. But it's done when you say, "I can." When you say, "I can have it," notice, it's a fait accompli. You have it. Notice the feeling that the universe is behind you organizing all the pieces and parts when you say, "I can do it."
When you say, "I can," you are setting in motion the remarkable power of Courageousness. Can you feel that power? When you say, "I can," you are in Courageousness. And no one or nothing can stop you. Courageousness is power-packed energy that says, "It is done."
Courageousness opens the door to Acceptance. "I can do it. I can have it. I can be it." Notice the Acceptance. Courageously saying, "I can," automatically moves you into acceptance. And right behind Acceptance, Peace. When you move into Acceptance, Peace flows in and envelops you like the warm sunshine. Do you notice that?
When you make the decision, "I can," you're in Courageousness. There's no doubt. There's no questioning. There are no excuses. There is no wanting. When you move into "I can," the Courageousness energy, there is Acceptance that's it's all done, and there's Peace, because the mental racket attached to "I can't" is all gone.
And as Lester Levenson says, "Everything falls perfectly into line."
You get into Courageousness, the "I can do it, I can have it, I can be it" energy by releasing. You mentally dive into those feelings. You find out what's hiding-out in there and you let it go. You bring whatever thoughts or feelings you find in your way to wanting approval, wanting control or wanting to be safe and you let them go. The Third Way to Release: Immediately see all your feelings culminate in wanting approval, wanting control or wanting to be safe. And immediately let go of wanting approval, wanting control or wanting to be safe.
Momentum is the key that unlocks the door to maximizing your releasing. With momentum you live your life in full time, all the time Courageousness.
The Release Technique® offers you so many ways to power up your Momentum. Keep your momentum at a high level, and dwell in the energy of Courageousness. The best way to spike your Momentum is the Seven Day Retreats. Why not go to the next Seven Day Retreat? What's the hold back? What is the, "I can't?" Move into, "I can." Test it. Check it out for yourself. When you decide, "I can. I can do it," you're in Courageousness and the universe revs up your engine and nothing can stop you. Find out for yourself.
Can you do it? It's a decision. Yes you can.
Remember God does not create garbage
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Beware of Substituting Behaviors
It is easy for alcoholics and addicts new to recovery to substitute one addiction for another, becoming compulsively involved in other activities. Although those activities, such as work or exercise, may be otherwise healthy and productive, they can hamper recovery if they become a transfer of addictions.
One goal of recovery and learning to live a sober lifestyle is to regain control over your life and your choices. Compulsive behavior, even with productive activities, does not allow you to exercise free choice and is not within your control. Being out of control in any area of your life does not lead to true sobriety in the long run.
Common Compulsive Behaviors
One common compulsive activity for people new to recovery is "workaholism" -- becoming compulsive about your work, career or job search. Working and improving your financial situation are noble goals, but working more than full time or spending most of your time thinking or talking about work can become compulsive behavior.
The same is true with exercise. While exercise and becoming healthier are beneficial to people in recovery, research shows that your long-term sobriety can be hampered if your exercise program becomes compulsive and a substitute for your former addictive behaviors.
Unhealthy Compulsive Behaviors
Of course, it is also common for alcoholics and addicts in recovery to substitute addictions that are not productive or healthy. For example, one of the more popular substitutions is for alcoholics to begin smoking marijuana, which is known as marijuana maintenance.
Addicts who were strung out on heroin or methamphetamine will also substitute marijuana, using the argument that it is not nearly as harmful. There are many other behaviors that can become compulsive -- gambling, sex, video games, shopping -- that are neither healthy nor productive for someone trying to maintain a sober lifestyle.
If you are in follow-up care in your professional rehab program, your counselor will point out the dangers of these choices, because they can easily lead to a relapse and are counter-productive to your long-term recovery.
Finding a Balance
Your continuing care treatment counselor will ask you about your activities in recovery and try to determine if you are becoming compulsive with any of your behaviors. This is a topic discussed by most counselors because substituting addictions is such a common occurrence.
You will be encouraged to make recovery-related activities a top priority of the structure of your daily schedule. Your counselor will remind you of the importance of meeting your personal needs and the benefit of relaxation and leisure activities.
The key to long-term, healthy recovery is to find a balance in your life by working, relaxing, eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep while avoiding overscheduling and overworking.
An Exception to the Rule
There is one area that you may become compulsive about that your counselor will not discourage -- getting involved in your 12-step or support group program. It is also fairly common for people new to recovery to become compulsive about participating in their support groups, sometimes to the point of attending several meetings a day.
Although this recovery behavior can indeed become compulsive to the point that you develop a dependency on your group, those issues will be addressed by your counselor at a later point in your recovery. In the early months of your rehab, your counselor will probably encourage your active participation in Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous and/or other mutual support groups.
Remember God does not create garbage
One goal of recovery and learning to live a sober lifestyle is to regain control over your life and your choices. Compulsive behavior, even with productive activities, does not allow you to exercise free choice and is not within your control. Being out of control in any area of your life does not lead to true sobriety in the long run.
Common Compulsive Behaviors
One common compulsive activity for people new to recovery is "workaholism" -- becoming compulsive about your work, career or job search. Working and improving your financial situation are noble goals, but working more than full time or spending most of your time thinking or talking about work can become compulsive behavior.
The same is true with exercise. While exercise and becoming healthier are beneficial to people in recovery, research shows that your long-term sobriety can be hampered if your exercise program becomes compulsive and a substitute for your former addictive behaviors.
Unhealthy Compulsive Behaviors
Of course, it is also common for alcoholics and addicts in recovery to substitute addictions that are not productive or healthy. For example, one of the more popular substitutions is for alcoholics to begin smoking marijuana, which is known as marijuana maintenance.
Addicts who were strung out on heroin or methamphetamine will also substitute marijuana, using the argument that it is not nearly as harmful. There are many other behaviors that can become compulsive -- gambling, sex, video games, shopping -- that are neither healthy nor productive for someone trying to maintain a sober lifestyle.
If you are in follow-up care in your professional rehab program, your counselor will point out the dangers of these choices, because they can easily lead to a relapse and are counter-productive to your long-term recovery.
Finding a Balance
Your continuing care treatment counselor will ask you about your activities in recovery and try to determine if you are becoming compulsive with any of your behaviors. This is a topic discussed by most counselors because substituting addictions is such a common occurrence.
You will be encouraged to make recovery-related activities a top priority of the structure of your daily schedule. Your counselor will remind you of the importance of meeting your personal needs and the benefit of relaxation and leisure activities.
The key to long-term, healthy recovery is to find a balance in your life by working, relaxing, eating well, exercising, getting enough sleep while avoiding overscheduling and overworking.
An Exception to the Rule
There is one area that you may become compulsive about that your counselor will not discourage -- getting involved in your 12-step or support group program. It is also fairly common for people new to recovery to become compulsive about participating in their support groups, sometimes to the point of attending several meetings a day.
Although this recovery behavior can indeed become compulsive to the point that you develop a dependency on your group, those issues will be addressed by your counselor at a later point in your recovery. In the early months of your rehab, your counselor will probably encourage your active participation in Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous and/or other mutual support groups.
Remember God does not create garbage
Monday, January 24, 2011
Looking at Step One
Hi all it has been awhile and I believe it is time we revisited Step one; Admitted we were powerless over ------------------------, and that our lives had become unmanageable.
I remember when I first heard this step I was completely taken aback, and it repulsed me, the audacity to think that I was Powerless, and then to say my life was unmanageable. To me this was utter nonsense. Powerless I think not, the only way I was powerless was if you had me at gunpoint and/or you had me in handcuffs. As for as unmanageable, well I always managed to get what I needed/wanted, one way or another. Whether it is drugs, alcohol, a place to stay, money, whatever. However after listening to other members I soon came to see that I might have a “wee” bit of a problem. That was when I was lucky enough to be introduced to the program and some very knowledgeable people. They introduced me a “program of Recovery” as suggested by the father of all 12 step organizations, “The Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, in which it says to take “pen to paper”. It was during this process that I began to see the truth about self.
It was in writing my first step one, in my own words, not by a case manager, making it proper or a lawyer, hoping to make me look good and filling in justifications, it was me in my own words, the truth. In black and white, no more dodging, no more rat ionizations, no more denial, just the facts. It should me how it was just my ego that was so offended. It showed me how much my life was controlled by drugs, alcohol, wanting to be accepted, sex, and the list went on. It also showed how little control I had over any of it. It also became quite evident that my life was in total disarray, I had either lost or in the process of losing everything, from money, homes, possessions, relationships family, everything. I called that manageable; in what world was I living??
And yet today, how easy is it for ego to attempt to reassert itself. To think I have power. Yet the truth is I have the power of choice today, the ability to choose what and who is in my life, the power to choose how I react to life’s situations. At the same time remembering that I am powerless over people, places and things. And to remember that when I attempt to manage my life, I can quickly ruin everything, that I am better off with a higher power in my life to manage my day to day affairs.
Remember God does not create garbage
I remember when I first heard this step I was completely taken aback, and it repulsed me, the audacity to think that I was Powerless, and then to say my life was unmanageable. To me this was utter nonsense. Powerless I think not, the only way I was powerless was if you had me at gunpoint and/or you had me in handcuffs. As for as unmanageable, well I always managed to get what I needed/wanted, one way or another. Whether it is drugs, alcohol, a place to stay, money, whatever. However after listening to other members I soon came to see that I might have a “wee” bit of a problem. That was when I was lucky enough to be introduced to the program and some very knowledgeable people. They introduced me a “program of Recovery” as suggested by the father of all 12 step organizations, “The Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous, in which it says to take “pen to paper”. It was during this process that I began to see the truth about self.
It was in writing my first step one, in my own words, not by a case manager, making it proper or a lawyer, hoping to make me look good and filling in justifications, it was me in my own words, the truth. In black and white, no more dodging, no more rat ionizations, no more denial, just the facts. It should me how it was just my ego that was so offended. It showed me how much my life was controlled by drugs, alcohol, wanting to be accepted, sex, and the list went on. It also showed how little control I had over any of it. It also became quite evident that my life was in total disarray, I had either lost or in the process of losing everything, from money, homes, possessions, relationships family, everything. I called that manageable; in what world was I living??
And yet today, how easy is it for ego to attempt to reassert itself. To think I have power. Yet the truth is I have the power of choice today, the ability to choose what and who is in my life, the power to choose how I react to life’s situations. At the same time remembering that I am powerless over people, places and things. And to remember that when I attempt to manage my life, I can quickly ruin everything, that I am better off with a higher power in my life to manage my day to day affairs.
Remember God does not create garbage
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